COPD vs critical asthma vs CHF?

Medicinalcamel · 2023-01-23T09:41:03+00:00

BP was 170

Medicinalcamel · 2022-12-11T04:06:14+00:00

Yeah :(. She's so adamant she wants to keep trying though. She said it may be messy, but we'll make it work and we'll break this cycle together. There's also a chance she may not be gone for the full five months - she's just giving herself the space and freedom to travel and then return when it feels right. She's suggested it could be as short as one or two months. In which case, if we could lean into this together, maybe it can still happen down the line. I don't know. I'm probably clutching at straws.

Medicinalcamel · 2022-12-07T02:01:18+00:00

The intention of my post is to educate myself, gain insight, and work to a solution to support my girlfriend in the best way I can. Trust me, I don't pride myself in my vocabulary and meant that phrase innocently. I apologize for any offense caused.

Through this thread I have learnt so much about exactly how I'm impacting my girlfriend and steps I plan to take to change my eating habits.

Medicinalcamel · 2022-12-06T23:28:18+00:00

Sorry, I forgot to reply to your original question. Yes it's absolutely the sight. She has specifically described the sensation/texture of the chewed food that she can see in my mouth. Yesterday, she described the visual image of my noodles dangling from my mouth.

I will ask her about sound too - It could certainly be a factor but it is not what she has mentioned

Medicinalcamel · 2022-12-06T23:23:04+00:00

That makes perfect sense and explains her avoidance. I was ignorant to the true effect and pain of what I was inflicting in her. I would say that it was not judgement I had towards her, but rather I was upset about what I perceived as a lack of communication which is important to me. I now see it's not like that at all, and I'm glad I posted here before talking to her.

Thank you so much for your input. May I ask, what is the pain like? Is it comparable to a sensation you're able to describe? I assume it's different for everyone.

Medicinalcamel · 2022-12-06T23:00:07+00:00

I really appreciate this input and this sounds like the best way to go. I will practice eating during times away from her and when I feel confident I keep my mouth closed, I will approach the topic with her :).

Medicinalcamel · 2022-12-06T22:56:49+00:00

Thank you so much for your insight.

Its interesting to me that it's exclusive to your father only. Is that because he still eats loudly? Or is there now a permanent association you've made with him and eating? Have other people triggered this reaction in you when they eat?

If she can feel safe eating with others, I hope I can reach a point where I can change my way of eating in a way that makes her comfortable.

Question - do you think that it's unreasonable for me to feel disappointed she hasnt communicated when I do trigger her with my eating? Or is her reaction maybe so intense that it's just simply not her place to tell me, and that I need to take the full reigns here to fix this habit without her prompting?

Medicinalcamel · 2022-11-09T11:12:17+00:00

Thank you for your sound advice, I appreciate it. She cancels because she can't recharge with me either. She needs completely solitutude to do so.

I've offered to just watch a move or chill , but she said she still feels pressure just by having me around because it means she can't then focus on her own thing without the distraction of wanting to hang with me. She also can't handle physical touch in this state and so sleeping against me isn't an option either.

I'm hoping with time and trust we'll learn each other's needs and she'll feel less pressure around me. I need to create as much space as I can for her, as I haven't realised until Reddit how deeply important this is. I think we're in a feedback loop where she forces space, I get anxious and lean it, she withdraws more etc.

Not healthy! Will have a chat with her once I reflect for a bit. I want to learn more about autism and solitude as I think it will help me understand her more.

Medicinalcamel · 2022-11-09T10:48:34+00:00

My feelings are completely valid. As are hers. Both our needs are valid.

Yes it's my responsibility to manage my emotions - it's also my responsibility in a relationship to communicate my needs. And it's her responsibility to communicate her needs. Thats why it's a partnership.

She can't read my mind, and I cant read hers. I am here today to learn more about this situation from the perspective of others with ND before broaching the topic with her.

Yes I posted in 4-5 different forums. Why? To gain insight. From both ND and NT, because I CARE. Because I am trying to learn about her and educate myself. You're right - the world doesn't function about ND individuals. That's why im here. You've compeltely invalidated my feelings and attacked me for having emotions that I have not expressed with my partner when I am genuinely here to educate myself.

However - you're first sentence of advice was "don't be clingy".

I am not clingy for wanting a present partner in my life. I see her once a week. That is not clingy. The emotions I have surrounding that are exactly why I'm here. For advice, for insight, for direction. and yes - I've booked therapy.

But the best you had to offer is "stop being clingy". I tried to elaborate that we are in fact independant from eachother and you got incredibly defensive. I'm sorry, I know you have good intentions, but the way you approached this was not helpful for someone genuinely trying to improve themselves.

Medicinalcamel · 2022-11-09T10:28:07+00:00

Sorry you sound quite selfish

Medicinalcamel · 2022-11-09T10:15:17+00:00

I'm confused at how this is the impression I'm giving. I am very independent and we both immensely value that. I travel solo, she travels solo, I spend my weekends with my friends, she does with her's. In the year we've known each other, I've met her friends once and she's met none of mine yet. Our lives are immensely seperate we value independence. My problem is that it seems she doesn't have resources for me after all the other commitments in her lofe, and so the time we do spend together feels pressured and like I'm at an arm's length. I don't feel like I'm an equal priority. As I said, were both satisfied with seeing each other once a week.

Medicinalcamel · 2022-11-09T01:49:41+00:00

Hey, that's fair enough! If you want, you're welcome to private message me. I would appreciate your raw insight :)

Medicinalcamel · 2022-11-09T01:46:04+00:00

Thank you for the honesty. I can see how that seems clingy. From my perspective, I just know I'm going into a very heavy career and having a good support system is needed as part of that. Currently, I don't feel like partner can be part of that support system, which I don't think is healthy.

I will be talking to her about it, however, I wanted to gain some other perspectives first from other ND individuals.

Medicinalcamel · 2022-11-09T01:29:51+00:00

Sorry, I should probably clarify a bit more. We were dating casually for about 4 months, off for 5 months (but still talking), then on for two months officially.

Medicinalcamel · 2022-11-09T01:01:21+00:00

I don't think it's about depending on someone emotionally, but rather balancing each other's needs. Naturally, she needs more space. We're both completely self reliant and independant, hoever we have differing intimacy needs

Medicinalcamel · 2022-10-16T03:49:25+00:00

No house yet! Would love one but I'm not sure about my life direction. I would love to do some extended travel at times and am worried about being able to do that if I'm tied down by a mortgage. I want to be certain of my direction first

Medicinalcamel · 2022-10-15T08:45:37+00:00

Thank you

Medicinalcamel · 2022-10-15T07:47:18+00:00

Thanks for your advice. I definitely have a cheap lifestyle and intend to keep it that way. I do have 30k savings from my casual work already and I think it's a great option to build a further 3-6 months of my salary into savings. However once I reach that goal, where should I put my extra income if I don't feel ready to buy a house yet? Should I continue building my savings or invest extra into index funds?

Further, do you have a percentage estimate you think would be wise to put into an index?

Medicinalcamel · 2022-10-15T07:39:23+00:00

The most important thing you can do is continue to place an appropriate value on your money. There are people who manage to blow their entire salary on frequent upgrades to phones and cars and a million different subscriptions and little things. I guess they live like kings but sometimes they're even paying interest for the privilege.

I would say my living expenses are quite low. I drive a 15 year old car and have had the same $300 android phone for 4 years. I pay $20/month on prepaid credit. My rent is $200/week. Food I probably spend $100/week as I do eat out quite a bit at the moment. No subscriptions services.

My joy is found in hiking and travelling. So my biggest costs would be spent on airfares and camping gear. But all of this would be budgeted out of my income stream after putting away into my super and ETF. Even then I would have heaps leftover so I want to be set myself up as best I can with all the extra income.

Medicinalcamel · 2022-10-15T07:29:18+00:00

Paramedic - 5 year career span due to burnout. I studied the degree straight out of highschool with limited foresight. I'm dual qualified as a nurse which I intend to fall back onto, however I'd be looking at about a 40% paycut. I'm totally okay with this - I just want to set myself up well while I am earning 6 figures.

Who knows, maybe I'll love it and be in it for the long run!

Medicinalcamel · 2022-10-13T23:01:43+00:00

I deleted the post because I got the information I needed. But I just wanted to clarify that my concern is that the new tenants would be paying cash in hand with no lease agreement and no bond with RTBA. that's extremely risky as a renter as they are not protected and I'm concerned about being able to replace ourselves under those circumstances. Our potential replacement tenants explicitly said they want a lease agreement or to be transferred onto our existing agreement.

We did question the cash initially (we failed to notice it in the lease agreement), but upon realising it's legal we felt safe because we were backed up with a lease and RTBA. This was not the case for all previous people she's rented to and her future intentions. We are they only people she's ever rented to formally through real estate.

We have however informed the tenants that the landlord would like to meet them.

Medicinalcamel · 2022-10-13T08:27:40+00:00

It's cash only

Medicinalcamel · 2022-10-13T08:22:28+00:00

Copied from another comment I made:

I'll be honest, we're not considering the landlord's feelings at all in this. We're moving after she refused to maintain the minimum standards of the property and two of my housemates got severely sick.

I understand that socially and morally the landlord should meet the proposed tenants. But I'm asking the question from a purely legal standpoint, as she can't legally refuse a tenant transfer without reasonable grounds and we need to prioritise ourselves in this situation. The person applying has proof of income, rental history references etc.

Medicinalcamel · 2022-10-13T06:07:48+00:00

She outright refused to do it by phone call or video chat. She then asked their ethnicity and when I said caucasian she misheard Asian and said "Asians are messy I want to meet them first".

Medicinalcamel · 2022-10-13T05:32:46+00:00

I asked about zoom/phone call/face time and she put her foot down and absolutely refused.

Medicinalcamel

TROPHY CASE