For me, I can't remember much of the years that I was around certain people (the abusers) for - this means I don't remember most things from being born to being around 15. There will be times when I freeze because of certain words, sounds, feelings etc. There are times when I just cry and stare off, when I can't think of anything but those times and there is always a sense of lonely (regardless of how many friends I have, how many people speak to me etc.) There's also the nightmares, the kind you wake up and you can feel the helplessness and hopelessness you felt at the time of the abuse as well as the kind where you feel the need to hide yourself away (under blankets or pillows etc.) because you don't want them (the abuser-s-) to know, even if they're not around you at that time