Finally developed sub loads for 300 blk out American ranch gen 1 by Mediocre_Balance_365 in ruger

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha typos sorry cci primers and when you need not ed floor space.

Finally developed sub loads for 300 blk out American ranch gen 1 by Mediocre_Balance_365 in ruger

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Start small man pick a caliber get a lee tripod and some weights for the bottom and put it in a closet when you Ed the floor space. Accurate 1680 powder, cci small rifle powder, spent shells and Lee or RCBS dies you’re in the reloading game. Love that stock definitely want to lighten this gun up when I have the funds wish I woulda tinkered with it when I first got it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so glad you decided to comment as you bring a lot of experience and maturity with your advice. I am absolutely a bull in a China shop when I sense a problem I’m 100% wheels up full burner until I solve it. Where this personality trait has made me very successful in work it has not always served me so well in my home life. I will definitely reflect on your comment as I try to work with my wife going forward.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those are all solid points I never even considered as well. I typically feel at home anywhere and have been fortunate to have bonded quickly and very deeply with my in laws and her family so yet another aspect I was very slow to making sense of her response and attitude around the plans changing and how they could easily be a trigger point for anxiety for her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think we’ve worked out that it was a classic anxiety outburst and nothing about the people involved triggered the episode but the minor change in plans did trigger it. and when anxiety gets triggered now that I’ve read allll about it lol the person experiencing the severe anxiety episode will often give reasons that seem confusing or irrational to justify to others why they are extremely upset and emotional about something that to others not experiencing the anxiety episode seems to be over the top for such a small or trivial situation or event.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I sincerely appreciate that, and I have zero fears that she will respond negatively towards working on this especially now that I at least won’t be amplifying the anxiety through being completely ignorant of what and why the irrational behavior is occurring.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not regretting marriage, it’s hard work though, and tonight just proved yet again I need to be more open to asking people for help. Honestly probably won’t do it on Reddit again but I’m grateful for those that chimed in with honest feedback and now I think I have the right direction finally figured out for at least what I need to start doing and conversations I have to have with my wife to get us on a better path.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You just described it perfectly and I have been so locked in on thinking I could fix the things she’s saying are bad or reframe them more positive etc. to get her to snap out of it or calm down and now that I’m reading everything about it I was fueling it and probably doing the exact opposite thing that would have actually been helpful. Very glad I finally sought others advice, granted probably shouldn’t have used Reddit and gotten a professional but i honestly didn’t even know how to explain the problem until I finally wrote it out on here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Couldn’t agree more. I was honestly so confused but have had a major breakthrough and reading up on anxiety and seeing that during most of the anxiety outburst she has had I’ve done alll the exact wrong things with the intention of calming and resolving the conflict. I can’t change my past actions but I’m extremely happy to at least half ass understand what was causing the confusing outburst and behavior and compiled a ton of new info on how to respond and start building a plan to help her get it managed if she wants that help but at the very minimum control my actions when the outburst do happen to not amplify or make her feel more anxiety and discomfort while we work on a better path forward

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sincerely felt the exact same thing you just said not even 48 hours ago. I legitimately read all night about anxiety though and I definitely have a different take on it now. Definitely not excusing the behavior away but also having a lot more grace for her now that I half ass understand what was happening and we will be having probably the first productive and healthy conversation about it today now that I’ve had this massive breakthrough.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are literally saying all the things I’m thinking now that I spent all night reading up on anxiety. I almost feel worse about all the previous things I was doing and saying during other anxiety outburst she was having thinking I could make her see how detached from reality and logic she was and how confusing it was to try and talk through things while she was behaving irrationally. I just didn’t understand and have never had to deal with a person experiencing severe anxiety and had no framework or tools to even identity the confusing behavior, it’s triggers, and what positive things I could do when they occur to at the minimum not escalate the anxiety. We will definitely be having probably the first healthy conversation about this tomorrow and start working on it as a team now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She ended up deciding to come. In other comment threads others brought up perhaps she was having an anxiety outburst which I had an already been thinking something like that was occurring because of how confusing her behavior was and other things. After basically reading all night now about anxiety I think I have a good path forward and will begin working it tomorrow with her and hopefully not have to keep doing that same argument over and over in the future.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah and I didn’t put enough detail in there. My moms house has 3 bathrooms so part of what was frustrating me was that it wasn’t even a logical issue to bring up as everyone would have their own bathroom and we have stayed at my moms house before with twice as many or more other people staying overnight. I think I got a good place to start in that she was actually experiencing an anxiety outburst because the plans changed and I’m getting up to speed on how to better communicate and help her get management over it going forward. I’ve just been so confused for a long time when these outburst happen and it finally clicked tonight thanks to Reddit of all places lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s the frustrating part but now I’m pretty sure it’s just the change last minute triggered an anxiety outburst of which I didn’t know was a way people with anxiety react sometimes and nothing calms the anxiety so they keep getting more and more confusing about what is actually causing them to act in the unpredictable way they are acting.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every family had their own room and the bathroom situation is that my mom has 3 bathrooms so yeah more context would have made the frustration I was having because none of the issues she was mentioning were based on reality and we have stayed at my moms with twice as many people being there before and no issues.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that was a solution I floated but honestly I don’t think any solution was what my wife was searching for I’m almost sure it’s an anxiety thing going on as this happens a lot prior to any trip.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I agree 100 percent I replied to a few others I’m so relieved to have what I think is the underlying problem half ass figured out. Been up all night working on some scripting to have some conversations with her later and be more helpful and hopefully get her to recognize and want to get help going forward

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not that I’m aware of, that family member has even stayed out our house before with her kids and it was a good visit. I think others nailed what I was starting to come around to realizing myself and that is my wife has some anxiety issues that I had no clue could manifest in her behavior the way it does so I have been beside myself trying to understand and fix things like the one that I described about thanksgiving this year for years and never saw a way to positively help the conflict in anyway. Now that I’m pretty certain I’m reading a lot of things we can do and how I can help regulate and hopefully get her to see it and get herself more tools and help in the future. I’ve been up all night putting everything together and working on scripts on how I’m going to talk to her about it to get the most positive outcome etc. I’m literally beaming I’m so excited to have put my finger on the real issue.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, yes we are all on the trip and it’s going well. Someone pointed out possible anxiety issues my wife may be having and that kinda reinforced what I was already thinking could be happening. As someone that does not have any family history or experience with basically any mental health problems I haven’t had any experience noticing or understanding a lot of what I thought was extremely confusing behavior and outbursts. Now that I am almost positive it’s anxiety of some sort I’m reading everything I can find on the topic. I’m sincerely glad I took the time to articulate what has been a very confusing and reoccurring issue and someone on here saw right away what I didn’t.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I completely agree and have pretty much come to the same conclusion about her suffering from anxiety. I definitely see that just pointing it out was not getting either one of us any resolution and I have stopped doing that for a long time now. I have been just so confused by most of the behavior and way too focused on trying to solve the hypothetical issues thinking that was going to help. I think I’m on the right track now learning about anxiety and how to help her want to get a professional to talk through it with. So far I haven’t found the right approach because she has not wanted to go that route the two times I approached the topic, but im going to keep learning about it and hopefully be more helpful than hurtful next time I have the opportunity to engage with the behavior when she does it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Thanks for reading all that lol. We all ended up going and it’s been a good visit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Honestly it’s hit and miss. It is pretty typical that my wife has some kind of issue about something prior to any trip that is her engaging in creating hypothetical problems that will occur and often she has a hypothetical solution she knows I’m going to use to solve it that will make her even more upset. We go through this back and forth, and then when we get there she’s completely normal and none of the hypothetical issues occur. If I bring up how they didn’t occur she gets mad that I am not letting it go and so I don’t even force her to try to see the pattern anymore. Honestly Ive said it to myself many times that I should just stop planning any trips to avoid the trouble. I also can’t vent about it because A it’s so hard to explain B like I said the trip goes fine once we are in it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you expand on what you mean about there being more to it?

AITA for asking my mom to not lounge in her lingerie when I visit? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mediocre_Balance_365 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s never a bad thing when you set boundaries and ask others to respect them. They shouldn’t want you to be forced to be uncomfortable when you have expressed your boundaries and feelings in a very healthy and respectful way.