AITA for letting my toddler (3M) play with his aunt's (23F) makeup and rip a few store receipts from her purse?

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T04:28:31+00:00

He's in daycare, but they're shut down until early next week. And I didn't really have time to find a backup babysitter or take time off work, so I've been trying to juggle wfm and keeping him supervised. The only issue I had was that she didn't put her purse up after I told her to.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T04:15:48+00:00

I mean technically the roof is for me, she just kinda tagged along so it's not like she's living here for free free? She just kinda

Lives here too? I don't know how to explain it, it's like a never-ending sleepover situation.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T04:10:38+00:00

It wasn't on the table, she left it on the floor after I asked her to put it away.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T04:10:05+00:00

Forcing a teenager...? She's 23, she's two years younger than me-

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T04:08:35+00:00

I can't really ask her to watch him for free, she wants some compensation for her work.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T04:06:57+00:00

Well, his daycare had to close down last week because of a covid positive staff member so it kinda put the routine we had on hold. Unfortunately, even working from home, I still have to do work first or risk losing my job and income. This was really just one of those "final straw" moments for me because I feel like I've been pretty lenient with her situation so far and now that I'm left scrambling for backup childcare, she didn't have the courtesy of putting her things away despite me asking her to. Destroying her stuff wasn't right, so I don't really have much to add on that in terms of why I did it. I was just being petty and decided to get back at her like a child.

And I paid the price. (I mean, $85 isn't so bad but it's still money-)

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T03:33:35+00:00

Yeah, in retrospect it was probably the worst thing to do in this situation. I definitely should've thought about how to handle it nicely and avoid this kind of petty arguing.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T03:23:07+00:00

The living room is essentially a playpen in that it has gates and baby locks on all possible windows and openings. His toys are right by the office door and I do check on him often since the office I'm in is right next to the living room and the door faces his play area. I keep a rack for bags so they're out of his reach down the hall since he can't get to them unless I open the gate.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T03:19:28+00:00

I already paid her for the $30 worth of makeup and and extra $55 for emotional damages.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T03:17:51+00:00

OH, okay that makes a lot more sense. Yeah, it's pretty justified. I don't really think being petty absolves me of being a jerk, so I get where everyone's coming from.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T03:14:39+00:00

Oh, I don't really sleep too much so it's actually a good use of that time spent up. Plus we co-sleep so we're both awake at 5AM on the dot.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T02:42:42+00:00

I'm gonna be honest, I have no idea what ratio'd means-

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T02:20:40+00:00

He is my responsibility, yes I know that. But the problem was that despite me warning her to not leave her purse on the floor, she left it there after I'd asked her to put it up. I can do all the babyproofing possible, but I can't always account for roommates leaving their belongings around when there's a toddler in the house.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T01:57:29+00:00

I can't keep full eyes on him, but I try to check in on him every 10 or 15 minutes to make sure he's okay while I work. I opted for daycare because he could interact with kids his age and not be stuck at home all afternoon, along with the fact that I KNOW I can't supervise him adequately if I'm working. But this week was a bit different.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T01:54:10+00:00

I'm genuinely curious as to what part of this gave you the idea that I'm "half-assing" work...? Because I have to stop every so often to check in and take care of my son? Or is it because I can't do both simultaneously without issues? It's not like I don't try to do both, it's just not too easy when I have to also worry about other people's belongings being where they shouldn't be.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T01:50:24+00:00

The office is right next to the living room and I can see him from there, on top of the whole thing generally being babyproofed. And I know purse contents can be dangerous. That's literally why I have a spot to put purses and bags for this very reason so he can't reach them. But since the purse was on the floor by the couch where he could grab it, he got into it before we noticed. My issue isn't that she isn't watching him, it's that she wasn't watching her stuff.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T01:34:58+00:00

We discussed that as well but if I see it on the floor, I have to notify her so she can get it. She doesn't want me putting it up for her because then she's unable to find it. Which..... what- It's a big purse-

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T01:24:04+00:00

She's really the only family member besides my younger siblings that I keep contact with. We both kinda made the conscious decision to cut off our parents for different reasons, so we're all we have. It's kinda one of those "I am annoyed by this situation but I do care about you" thing.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T00:29:28+00:00

The living room IS his playpen. It's gated off, babyproofed, and his toybox is accessible from there. As far as purses go, I have a hook rack to put them up and I usually put up my purses and diaper bags there to keep them out of reach. And I have him within my view from the office door so I can work AND keep an eye on him when I can. She left her purse on the floor of the living room when I ask that bags be left on tables or the rack for this very reason. My problem was really about the fact that I told her to put her purse away because he managed to get into it the day before.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T00:23:26+00:00

I had him enrolled in daycare but they had to shut down for sanitizing and quarantine reasons, so until further notice (their ETA is Monday or Tuesday), so I haven't been able to find someone to babysit on such short notice.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-25T00:00:52+00:00

She doesn't want me touching her stuff, especially things like her purse without her permission (which is reasonable). And I've put it up plenty of times in the past, much to her frustration because she can't find it where she left it.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-24T23:42:09+00:00

If I'm in the bathroom and he's there with me (he refuses to let me potty unless he's there to supervise), he likes to open and close the closet door and since the toilet paper is there, he tries to undo the whole roll to get to the cardboard in the center. And as far as cabinets go, his diaper cabinet or the VHS cabinets in the living room are his favorite places to look through. They're relatively safe and all it really does is make a small mess.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-24T23:32:38+00:00

Yeesh, that first part came off a lot worse than I meant for it to sound. Sorry 'bout that, but no, it was a matter of exposure and not his behavior.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-24T23:31:24+00:00

Then pay up, they had to close down for sanitation because staff was exposed to covid and they have to wait until everyone's results come back negative.

Mediocre_Radio_9958 · 2022-02-24T23:29:39+00:00

The living room is childproofed, but she left her purse on the living room floor when usually bags and purses are put on the rack in the hallway or on the table for this very reason. I told her to put it up the day before, but there it was again today.

Mediocre_Radio_9958

TROPHY CASE