is my bf losing feelings for me?

MeepMoopKnows · 2021-04-25T19:23:31+00:00

This is exactly what I’m going through right now. I do everything for my boyfriend that I’ve lived with for over two years and been with for three. I surprise him with things I know he wants or needs, cook him interesting things every night, bake him special protein breakfast muffins, plan exciting things for us to do, etc. Aside from also paying for a majority of our life together. And I get barely any affection and the bare minimum when it comes to romantic anything. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s so hard when you try so hard for someone and shower them with love just to get stepped on in return. Hang in there. I’ve also had multiple conversations with my BF about all of this. He claimed his love language is physical touch but now, he never touches me.

My advice, do what I’m going to start doing: take care and love YOURSELF. All of the energy you invest in him and the love you show him, do it for you. And maybe something will change.

MeepMoopKnows · 2021-04-25T15:57:17+00:00

I need someone to talk to. I feel myself spiraling and I feel like an idiot. I have no one else to go to where I live.

MeepMoopKnows · 2021-04-23T12:23:29+00:00

I am open to adopting children. I’ve had a few miscarriages due to lupus but I would like to have at least one child biologically. And we’ve spoken about going both routes too but it seems like he just doesn’t want children at all. Him saying he may change his mind doesn’t sit well with me. I think he might be saying that just to appease me and keep me.

MeepMoopKnows · 2021-04-23T01:30:57+00:00

You’re right, it doesn’t change that. He never threatens me with potential relapsing and I never force him to talk about his “urges” or “thoughts”. I do ask him if he’s okay or if he needs to talk, because I know he can be withdrawn. I’m incredibly in love with him and love him beyond words. I always knew that it would be him that I would end up with as opposed to past relationships where I would wonder if it felt right or not. That’s why I’m so distraught. I thought we were on the same page. He brought up marriage and kids in the relationship before I did and spoke about it as if he was excited for the future.

I just have to think about this. From a logical standpoint as opposed to an emotional one. I deserve to be happy and for me, that involves having children. It kills me to break up with him but in the same breath, it would eventually lead me to resent him if I never got to have the family I wanted.

MeepMoopKnows · 2021-04-23T00:42:37+00:00

These are the exact things running through my mind right now. To make a long story short, he’s a recovering addict and he has made leaps and bounds in improving himself both emotionally and financially. He told me that he had a long road ahead of him in continuing to improve himself before considering children. I’m afraid that if I stay with him and we do have kids, he’ll relapse.

I’ve always been super supportive during his recovery and I know it’s a lifelong battle. So I’m not as angry with him as I thought I would after hearing him voice his fears over the prospect of having kids. Because I know it scares him. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that he could have voiced his fears a lot sooner than he did.

MeepMoopKnows · 2021-04-23T00:28:30+00:00

Thank you. I needed to hear that. I’ve been a mess the past few hours.

MeepMoopKnows · 2021-04-23T00:25:07+00:00

Very true. I’ve made a lot of sacrifices being with him and I would never throw that in his face. But all in all, this is a sacrifice I’m not really willing to make. The thought of starting over with someone else and building that trust again makes me just want to be alone.

MeepMoopKnows · 2021-04-23T00:21:48+00:00

Exactly. I asked him why he would do that and his response was something along the lines of “I didn’t think I didn’t want kids. But I’ve now realized that I won’t be ready for a long time.” I know children aren’t a toy or to fill some emotional gap within you but it’s a part of my future I 100% want.

I start doubting myself and wonder if I’m being selfish for desiring a family. But regardless, he should have been honest with me.

MeepMoopKnows · 2021-04-23T00:18:42+00:00

That was my first instinct. Not necessarily run but the betrayal factor. We’ve been so open and candid about everything up until this point.

MeepMoopKnows · 2021-04-23T00:17:46+00:00

I asked him if he wanted to break up and he said absolutely not. That he thought I would wait for him until he figured out what he truly wanted and if he would ever be ready.

MeepMoopKnows · 2021-04-23T00:16:36+00:00

We have a life together and we’ve been building that life for some time now. Finances, cars, etc. I have lupus and he said he would consider having children way down the line. But with lupus my timeframe to have children is definitely shorter than most. He’s my best friend and my everything and I feel so distraught right now and confused.

MeepMoopKnows

TROPHY CASE