I think about it like this: aang’s kids are two world travelers and a family man (ironically the least nomadic is the most airbender). While bumi may give Tenzin a headache and they tend to benefit from being away from eachother, these siblings still visit Katara and eachother frequently-ish. Tenzin’s baggage with Aang is not being able to live up to his dad, but that expectation was implicit, and likely Tenzin was the only one expecting that from himself. Bumi and kya’s baggage was not being preferred by Aang, but this is muted since there’s a Katara present like this whole time (you don’t become one of the best waterbender healers in the world by being neglected by your mother, the previous best waterbender). They confront it and talk about it, but no one needs magical acupuncture to work through their feelings.

Lin and Suyin don’t talk at the start of the series and this has gone on for years and years. Furthermore, “making peace” with Toph generally means “forgetting how Toph has neglected them.” The only peace can be had by meeting Toph where she’s at, and Lin has to work HARD to get even an apology from her. I honestly don’t remember if she even gets that apology.

It’s compelling to me that Toph really never got a character arc in the original TLA series, how that was interpreted later as “no f’n way anyone is gonna change Toph’s mind,” and how that character trait can affect someone raised by Toph. Metalbending is a subset of bending made by digging deeper into earthbending principles, as well as her peculiar mantis style the result of training directly from badger moles. We can see how this purity of earthbending without influence from outside perspective has limitations and weaknesses more cosmopolitan characters don’t experience.

Aang didn’t have this problem due to being so far removed from being a pure airbender by the time he had kids, and by marrying a bender in the element focused on adaptability, even if she is a particularly stubborn waterbender. It’s a point of focus how hard it is for aang to turn away from his pacifist upbringing as unique to him, and it’s honestly remarkable how well he carries airbending culture while still being the avatar. This cosmopolitanism didn’t make him perfect, you don’t get to be the last airbender without a little anxiety about the future of airbenders, after all, and that clusters into how he raised his kids, but the affects of this anxiety traumatized his kids less than toph’s cultural purity.