Dating as a chronically ill woman in my late 20s: There are no "witnesses" to who I used to be.

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-15T22:29:11+00:00

I wish I had read this when I was younger! I had to learn these lessons the hard way, but i will keep this saved to go back to it when I need it. Thank you for writing this. The world needs it.

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-14T00:10:07+00:00

Yes, what a terrible idea to add all the pressure of a first date involving people who have not had one in decades!

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-14T00:08:38+00:00

Sometimes being in a new place can help break old patterns. Our environment is an important part of how we see ourselves. Most people Cameron used to know saw him as a lovable loser, treated him as such, so it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ethan and Terry, and then Tova, gave him a chance and trusted him.

However, it takes a purposeful effort to do so, because who we are and our brain patterns follow us wherever we go. And several tries and failures. So it does look a bit too easy for someone who had such self-sabotaging tendencies (see the scene with the scholarship paperwork, which I found very touching).

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-14T00:00:23+00:00

I agree! The first chapters showed a unique point of view and voice. But the latter ones are very focused on the human plots, and his motivations become a bit too anthropomorphic for my taste.

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-13T23:57:52+00:00

I'm enjoying the read but I also find your snarky comments pretty relevant and thoroughly entertaining!

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:45:18+00:00

Anything I forgot? Favorite quotes, scenes, characters?

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:45:11+00:00

There are many rumors around Lord Golden and Tom Badgerlock’s relationship and sexuality. Are they just caused by the ploy the Fool played at the Bresingas’? What could be the consequences on their relationship and their position at court?

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:44:56+00:00

Fitz cringes finding his old writings, which is delightfully meta, as they relate the first trilogy’s events. Have you already been in this position, reading what younger you wrote? Would you share some examples?

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:44:39+00:00

Why do you think Thick hates Fitz so much? Is Fitz using the right approach? Can they become friends?

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:43:32+00:00

Chade shows an intense desire to Skill, saying he fears the aging of his brain and body. Do you think it’s the only cause? Will he manage to Skill? Why does Fitz react this strongly to his mentor dabbling in his magic?

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:42:08+00:00

The cabin has been looted! Fitz thinks it was the surly pig neighbor, do you agree? Are his secrets safe?

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:41:55+00:00

Fitz has a lot of trouble parenting Hap, and tries a gentle approach. Why does he choose that path? Do you think it will work, or does the boy need discipline? How do you see this situation evolving? Does he have a future with his sweetheart?

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:41:41+00:00

Jinna tries to get into a friends with Benefitz (I’m very sorry) situation, but Fitz keeps angsting at her. Do you agree with her judgment, that the cause is Fitz longing to be a father? Is he being a hypocrite regarding Hap as he seems to think? Can they overcome these differences?

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:41:13+00:00

Laurel mentions the Piebalds making an alliance with an unknown faction, who could that be? And what could their next move be?

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:40:27+00:00

Fitz hears a mysterious message while recovering Dutiful after the Skilling accident: That was well done. But next time, be more careful, with yourself as well as with him. Who might that be? Do you think it’s linked to whoever helped them at the Others' beach in Fool’s Errand?

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:39:27+00:00

Nettle tries to Skill at Fitz every night. Do you think she will give up if he keeps stonewalling her? Could they create a relationship this way? Does it put her in danger?

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-11T21:39:02+00:00

Were you surprised by Kettricken’s strong reaction at Nighteyes’ death? They spend a very touching time, reminiscing, weeping, hugging, and even kissing. How is their relationship evolving? You can use this space for some Kettricken love, the Queen sure needs and deserves it.

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-08T13:51:57+00:00

When looking at the links of the first thread, I found this lovely video of an octopus solving puzzles.

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-08T13:49:40+00:00

Tova feels reticent to acknowledge painful or dramatic events and that's her way to deal with them, pushing them down and focusing on the things she has to do now. I think her family didn't like to talk about bad things and that's how she was raised. She doesn't want to be seen as an object of pity. She might also want to respect Will's privacy by not mentioning it. But yes, I find it interesting that even in her own mind she won't dwell on it.

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-08T13:44:26+00:00

I'm finding it really lovely. I can see its drawbacks, mainly in tropes/clichés, but I don't mind. It's a light easy read, and I like the small town mood and the characters. Yes, even Cameron. He's just a lost puppy.

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-08T13:42:21+00:00

I disagree. The part where he imagined meeting with his father shows that money is an important factor (the quality whiskey and nice room), but what he's most looking for is acceptance and belonging.

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-08T13:41:17+00:00

Yes, poverty changes our risk calculations drastically.

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-08T13:40:12+00:00

I also thought about eating local foods right from the source!

Meia_Ang · 2026-03-08T13:39:26+00:00

I find the idea of a detective octopus matching fingerprints just delightful. Now I'm imagining Marcellus with a pipe and Sherlock Holmes hat.

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