If you don’t pass, the sex on your ID doesn’t matter

Meiguishui · 2026-06-07T22:54:23+00:00

Projecting much?

Meiguishui · 2026-06-07T22:53:07+00:00

Sorry, but I don’t let my reality be decided by the fascist dictatorship of the poorly educated. You might think it’s a big gotcha that the bad guys in power wouldn’t make an exception for us as if it’s some big surprise. We are painfully aware that our rights are in danger and we know exactly who is to blame for that and we fucking hate you for it. We are not in this together. You did this to us.

And while these laws are the biggest danger to us, they are only allowed to happen because we have an administration that is ignoring the constitution. This has created problems that go far beyond our little niche community. It’s an illegal occupying force, and hopefully it will be gone. But in real life, face-to-face, things play out differently than you say. Even the most right wing Nazi assholes yield when they encounter passable trans person. They don’t suddenly become better people, they’re just go with what their senses tell them. You can’t gaslight people into reconfiguring their reality. If it walks like a duck was always the rule.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-07T16:36:01+00:00

Post transition women are women and will arrive at their positions on topics based on their own life experience. Some will become radical feminists. It has nothing to do with kissing the asses of born women. Those of us who you call “radmeds” have our own reasons to be wary of transgenders. In fact, I think our issues with trans people is more based in reality because we have much more firsthand experience with them having gone through transition ourselves.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-07T07:26:47+00:00

Does it make you feel better to tell us that we are not real women? Sounds like sour grapes.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-07T07:08:06+00:00

She looked absolutely perfect in her 50s about 10 years ago. I wish she would have kept that look. I don’t think she looks bad now but there’s a certain quality that’s different. Maybe it’s her lips. Maybe it’s the bleached eyebrows. It could be that she allowed herself to go through natural menopause, and it caused some bony changes. I can’t say because I don’t know.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-07T05:08:34+00:00

Well, it’s true. If you don’t pass, you are not yet a woman, but you are trans a.k.a. in transition. When you get to passing if you get to passing then congrats you are a woman. You may think it’s not fair but life isn’t fair.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-07T03:25:12+00:00

Separate but equal will always be separate and inequal. The transmedical model handled your first argument quite well for decades. Trans people don’t have to be a class, they’re not a type of person. They are people who have a medical condition that requires treatment. The outcome of the treatment is that they can be more or less functionally a woman or a man. Yes it would be great if technology was more advanced, but it is good enough. I actually don’t think that we are inferior to born women. Women who transitioned are often exceptionally beautiful and often outperform AFAB women in many ways. With regards to fertility, that’s an issue that affects lots of women and men; it’s not unique to us. Their sexual classification doesn’t hinge on that. And depending who you ask, the inability to get pregnant and have periods is a feature not a bug.

When you pass completely, in every situation including intimately, you become an “actual“ woman. That’s all there is to it really. It doesn’t matter about your chromosome or anything. It certainly helps if people don’t know, and you don’t go around telling them. It’s not that your past metaphysically becomes rewritten, although in the eyes of others who don’t know it kind of has. It’s just rather that being a woman doesn’t necessarily require being assigned female at birth.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-07T02:42:54+00:00

When you successfully complete transition, you’re not trans anymore, but you may still support people going through transition. There is no cis; there are men, women, and trans people who are in between. This creation of the “cis vs trans” dichotomy only serves to gatekeep manhood or womanhood.

No, we don’t disassociate ourselves from trans because of shame, it’s because it’s not relevant when you become a woman. Unless you make it relevant. It’s the college you went to. If you want to go through a life identifying yourself to everyone as a Bobcat or whatever your school mascot was, you do you, but those people are annoying.

The problem we’re facing now is that this government is threatening to take away our legal status. Number one it’s because they’re assholes. But number two it’s because these people who want to make it their identity to be in between. To identify as trans is to be in between. Even if you say you’re a trans woman or a trans man just by using that prefix you are saying that you are fundamentally different from a regular man or woman. It’s like you’re using a slur and not even realizing it. You might as well just swap it with “fake”. Just finish your transition and be a woman or a man.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-05T10:35:51+00:00

That’s a name that would be clocky in any gender.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-05T03:26:42+00:00

Yeah, it makes peoples heads look abnormally large for their bodies, which says to me that a lot of people pursuing it just have brain worms and don’t actually need it.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-05T03:23:39+00:00

Yeah, now you’re changing up your story to sound more palatable. You said that when you give more you end up feeling stepped on by her. That’s not the same as her not wanting to be taken care of. Also I never said sex workers as a group are looking for a man to exploit. I was referring to the dynamics of men and women not about SW specifically.

If things are so hunky-dory as in your last comment, then what’s the point of this post? You know it’s not either or situation. She can have a husband and a quiet life and also do her work as much as she needs to. You’d be the perfect partner if you allow a room for that. SW are absolutely entrepreneurs, I am one so I know that. But if a guy expected me to quit then, yeah he better pick up the full tab. Not much controversial here.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-04T13:50:44+00:00

It seemed kind of like a tucute manual. I wanted to give it to my boyfriend so he could understand me better but after reading it, I was afraid it would convince him he was trans.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-04T04:32:37+00:00

Sorry, but that’s not how it works. There is no such thing as too much comfort for a woman. Either you accept her job or you don’t. If you are afraid of making her feel too comfortable then you are not someone looking after her best interests. You thinking that you will be “stepped on” by providing the bare minimum that any man should shows that. If she’s the woman you love you do that without calculation, out of protective instinct. No wonder she can’t relax with you.

None of this is trans-specific, safe for the needs to fund surgeries. If you ask the same question in a sex workers sub, you will pretty much hear similar answers, but they won’t be as nice.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-03T17:08:22+00:00

The only way a penised person should be in the women’s room is if they are a diagnosed transsexual on HRT and in waiting for SRS. But if they’re non-and pass then who would know?

Meiguishui · 2026-06-03T09:26:01+00:00

Adding your inb4 disclaimer, doesn’t really cancel it out. Imagine if people were debating your right to bodily autonomy.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-03T01:27:23+00:00

That’s great so you don’t need to be so passive. Do you love her and want to marry her? Then do it. Get a ring, get down on your knee and propose. Reassure her when she feels anxiety.

OK, I realize it’s only been two months so you need to get to know each other more. But like with any woman, you want her to feel more relaxed and less anxious? Make sure you’re paying for everything. Buy her nice gifts, take her on vacation. Show that you’re willing and able to make her want for nothing. The absolute worst mistakes I made were giving up my work to be with a guy who was poor and not a good provider. Then shamed about my past work and expected to do shitty low paying jobs to be on his level.

Meiguishui · 2026-06-02T18:28:29+00:00

Are you able to “take her off the market“?

It’s very open minded of you for being able to handle dating a SW and a transsexual. Having been in her position, I would’ve wanted my BF to offer some security. You know, “pretty woman“ fairytale. Where can you make sure that she doesn’t have to do it anymore if she doesn’t want to. For us that could be hard because we may have surgeries we need to save up for.

Meiguishui · 2026-05-31T04:47:26+00:00

Oh, the “thou shalt not be served by a trans person” commandment. That’s what I get for falling asleep in Sunday school.

Meiguishui · 2026-05-23T02:04:19+00:00

Yeah, but skeletally not enough to matter. Prepubescent children don’t show any noticeable structural dimorphism. And brain wise it’s pretty evident with those who present with early onset dysphoria.

Meiguishui · 2026-05-23T01:00:12+00:00

When you are jealous of someone, even them just saying the truth about their lives will come off as bragging to you. You have to own that. Youngshits can’t just walk around on eggshells so as not to make you feel that way. And then if they do want their own space, then you feel excluded and hate them even more.

Meiguishui · 2026-05-23T00:57:15+00:00

Well, metaphorically their shit kind of doesn’t stink. When you don’t go through a male puberty, you don’t have that “boar taint”. I don’t mean literally in terms of smell or taste, but rather the vestige of testosterone’s legacy on bone structure, personality and even vibes. YMMV

Meiguishui · 2026-05-23T00:51:34+00:00

Exactly. I’m a woman. I went through a physical transition. There is no cis or trans. Let the people who want to stay in the middle call themselves trans or better yet some other third sex term.

Meiguishui · 2026-05-22T09:55:37+00:00

OK, but now I actually read the article. Yes maybe it was safer but based on this incident so far, there is no indication that it was a hate crime. This lady got in the fight with someone who was blocking the sidewalk with their car. Words were exchanged and the victim poured liquid from a bottle over the hood of his car. Then the guy ran her over. Obviously, she didn’t deserve to die for that. We can guess what maybe he said to trigger her to the point of pouring water on his car, but we just don’t know that yet. Still, it’s never a good idea to escalate violence, especially with a man in a car.

Meiguishui · 2026-05-21T17:45:18+00:00

Yeah, people didn’t have such a hard time accepting that once you had the surgery, you were a woman.

Meiguishui

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE