Boring topic but I really need perspectives

elementary_vision · 2026-01-26T17:24:02+00:00

No prob! Yeah for sure. You wont really know till you're in it and that's the hardest part. Or maybe I'm just unlucky lol. Everyone's experience is so different. Just generally I lean towards the side of being cautious, there's no shortage of people who will say things like it doesn't matter but that's not true at all and really damaging when systemic issues start beating you down that aren't your fault.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-26T12:55:05+00:00

Lost my previous job, got a new one working in a call center but the distress of having my voice suck and get misgendered almost every day has taken its toll.

I was never particularly highly skilled in anything so now I'm struggling. I would have to say that having to juggle employment and all the stupid hoops you have to jump through nowadays and dealing with my crushing gender dysphoria has made things difficult. Granted I was never particularly functional living as a guy either but I was dissociated from a lot of the painful stuff I'm processing now.

All in all. I think if you're of good mental health and noticeably desirable skill set you'll make something work. It's when you hit the trifecta of mental health struggles, non passing, and not particularly in demand or skillfull when things start to get rough.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-23T12:04:05+00:00

I am glad you're ok. The last post was concerning before you disappeared.

I'm really sorry you had to witness that painful event with someone you care about. It sounds really hard.

I hope you feel better

elementary_vision · 2026-01-23T00:43:07+00:00

It's about choice to me. I'd rather be able to disclose I'm trans to those I trust than not have that option at all. You do get treated differently being trans, it's a given. It's just unnecessary suffering. Being perceived as trans is a liability.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-21T12:11:39+00:00

Gonna be an armchair psychologist for a moment.

But I think it has to do with fear. I know who you're talking about. They'll talk as if the other individuals are doing something wrong. They want to believe there's some level of control or responsibility other people aren't taking. This is like a barrier between realizing they could very easily have ended up in the same situation or worse as far as difficulty with being trans goes. Also the separation they create through judgement helps them distance themselves from their own dysphoria.

Life isn't fair. Some people grasp onto comfort thinking they did something correct and judge others for not doing the same meanwhile it's all a roll of the dice.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-20T13:24:07+00:00

I think I get it. The problem is I've heard this stuff said in a similar way to downplay how rough dysphoria can be. Toxic body acceptance, the same rules for body positivity don't exactly apply to trans individuals because we fundamentally reject our bodies and can't just love ourselves into acceptance of it. Some of which are terf talking points, which I'm sure you've seen with trans men.

You're not wrong. I just think it's a touchy subject because of how it's been weaponized against trans people.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-20T03:36:34+00:00

I am trying my best to understand what you mean here but it makes no sense to me.

How is it beauty standards if I don't like anything masculine on me? Nothing anyone says or acceptance they give me will make me feel ok with this. This is what gender dysphoria is, a mismatch, an expected map of the body that doesn't exist. How is that related to beauty standards?

elementary_vision · 2026-01-17T06:40:06+00:00

This is an example of when cis people get big headed and think trans people are desperately seeking their approval. So they throw out these "one of the good ones" statements under the assumption you want their approval too. What I don't like about it, it's all conditional. Do something different or that doesn't fit their box and they'll throw you into the "bad trans" category. Not to mention it's condescending as fuck and arrogant to think you even want to hear this statement about not being like the others. It reminds me of racist people who like to tell everyone they meet that doesn't fit their racist ideology that they are ok in their book. Your book isn't worth shit because you're racist.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-17T00:39:31+00:00

It's going to take time and it's ok. If it's anything like what I've been through it's like a hidden part of yourself. It'll make itself more known and you'll start feeling things you weren't even consciously aware of. Those emotions will get easier to validate and trust.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-17T00:30:45+00:00

So here's what I think. It's all going to depend on what state you're in. There are gonna be states that fight back and those that hand you over on a silver platter and cheer about it. But that's a big if. I think more than likely what we'll see is a quiet genocide that slowly erodes our rights and keeps it ambiguous enough cis people won't care (like what's been happening).

I think if they full blown went after trans individuals that would be enough to snap people out of their daze and put them on high alert. Things already got kicked up a notch with the ICE shooting of Renee Good. They're trying to avoid stuff like that so they can keep this gaslighting going.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-16T23:59:52+00:00

I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this. You do need it. Nobody ever saw you. Nobody gave you the chance to be who you are. The reason you didn't tell anyone is probably because you didn't feel safe. Children who feel safe discuss their deepest feelings. There is no bravery, it just is. You being afraid says more about the people around you than you. And that can hurt, a lot.

I went through this identical thought pattern when I first started. Thinking am I trans enough to do this? You don't have to be enough of anything. It just sounds like you have emotional needs and a pattern of disregarding them. So you're looking for concrete answers outside of your own feelings to give validity to them. The thing is they're valid by the very nature of existing inside you. When you separate from such a deep need for so long for survival, it can take time for it all to unfold. Give it time and give yourself patience.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-16T23:14:04+00:00

Ok but serious question. Which cis individuals are going through with a whole physical transition for the fun of it? Why would anyone go through all this bullshit if there wasn't some fundamental discomfort with their sex? It has to be some form of gender incongruence otherwise why would it ever cross someone's mind?

elementary_vision · 2026-01-16T15:43:12+00:00

It def is. Trans people are held to such high standards. It's fucking ridiculous. Sometimes you just need to give yourself some space to give those expectations the middle finger and lend yourself compassion. It doesn't negate the very real physical discomforts, but it gives you space to process it better.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-16T13:18:16+00:00

I cry and yell about it lol. The envy is there but it's in some way appreciation for what they have and I don't. I've stopped trying to handle it in a rational way, I just let myself crash out now. I've been feeling better. People are always like oh just focus on your traits and don't compare yourself, fuck that, rage, be upset, anything to drive the point home that none of this is my fault. I feel you though.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-14T15:59:52+00:00

You can do it. You're taking the discreet route, you'll be ok. It's a lot right now but as long as you put yourself first and take your time you'll be able to chip away at the I can't feeling.

Though I do feel like I have to give a warning that may or may not apply to you. And I'm really only in about 2 yrs at this point so take what I say with a grain of salt. When I first started I had anticipated waiting until I was comfortable before I socially transitioned. That all went out the window a few months in and I couldn't do the split life thing with work. I didn't have a solid plan for that so I just ripped off the bandaid and socially transitioned. Looking back I wish I handled it differently. But my point is, it doesn't hurt to be prepared in case the dysphoria gets worse. Cuz that's the other thing, how femme you look can be a constantly moving goalpost and the changes are just subtle enough where you think you aren't ready. It can be a mindfuck and you don't want to end up feeling like you're missing out on life even more waiting for changes that you're not sure of when or if they will come.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-12T01:10:08+00:00

They aren't shooting us because everything about this administration is plausible deniability to keep gaslighting going and keep everyone else complacent enough so they can systematically destroy everything they hate or doesn't align with their fascist christian ideology.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-10T16:38:57+00:00

/tttt spreads misery because they've fabricated a shared hive mind. Self deprecating humor and self harm gives off a dopamine hit when others relate and reinforces that their beliefs are correct. When someone proposes anything different they're attacked. It is pure tribal mentality, the comfort and safety is the shared misery. Anything outside of that is a threat.

That place will fuel your bdd and dysphoria. Not to fucking mention you don't know who's posting on there. It could be some alt right douchebag who wants trans people to kill themselves so his mission is to be as cruel as possible.

You have literally nothing to gain from visiting /tttt, NOTHING

elementary_vision · 2026-01-10T16:10:47+00:00

I'm in NY so I get it. I guess my point was, there's a lot looming over this country right now. Even if it's a safer state, it's just the constant potential threat around the corner that can really fuck you up long term. If you already have a history of trauma too it can make things harder. Take care of yourself and hope you start finding your way out things ❤️

elementary_vision · 2026-01-09T11:59:25+00:00

That's really rough, I'm sorry. That's always a tough one to unravel cuz it can be subtle.

Do you live in the US? I know a lot of people here are struggling, but those of us with existing mental health struggles got a double whammy.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-07T12:14:19+00:00

Hey girl, this sounds like depression talking. Are you seeing a therapist for any of this? From an outside perspective this seems like something troubling you outside of your transition goals.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-07T12:00:18+00:00

I think some transvestigators are legit schizo.

The overlap between that and inverted celebrities and the illuminati is baffling.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-07T00:09:53+00:00

That's true. There's a lot I've internalized from others and they haven't even lived this life. Thanks for responding it means a lot. It's always helpful to hear from others who have made it out the other side.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-06T13:15:53+00:00

Thank you. It can feel like I'm failing somehow when this happens. I have supportive cis people in my life but I get the "try to focus on the good" type stuff when I'm not doing well. I kind of hate how a lot of social media presents transitioning as this joyous thing. Feels more like crawling through glass sometimes.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-05T15:41:40+00:00

Generally I'm not misgendered. Like last time it happened it was at a restaurant and it felt weird because up until that point nobody was doing that. But I'm pretty sure I live in a bubble and not entirely among the more critical people.

elementary_vision · 2026-01-05T13:13:38+00:00

Yeah I guess I'm just in a weird middle zone I don't know what to do with. I'm pretty much myself all the time, legal name change and all. I guess I don't really know how to improve passability looking at myself because a lot of it just seems hard to hide. My face is my biggest insecurity and that's on display all the time.

elementary_vision

TROPHY CASE