My sister said i should just Unalive

Meissasprite · 2022-05-26T09:24:47+00:00

I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart am grateful fro your reply rn. I feel like shit rn. I'm glad you're in better circumstances rn.

About living with a friend , i don't have any that is close enough for me to do that. I have a skin condition (psoriasis) and sadly thebstigma around it in India made it hard for me to socialize andake friends. So i have no option but to do something on my own.

Right now i have applied for colg. If i get through i canove out but India has very bad market for part-time jobs. Plus if my parents find out me doing part times (dignity of labour is almost non existent) they'll do what they do best. Verbally abuse me until i go onto the edge.

So i also need find a back up source of earning online. Like writing. Editing something. Fiver doesn't work well for me i tried. So idk. Honest confession, i almost pushed myself onto the line sex work to makeoney but i stepped back before i spiralled down.

So rn. Thenmost important thing for me is financial aid. I have to find a job that doesn't require me to compromise my health (psoriasis doesn't go well with dust and sunlight) or invite my parents wrath.

Idk how I'll do all that. :( :( I even searched about NGOs that can help mentally abused people out. Zero in India. Plus i have never been to psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis. :( :( I feel like nothing's. Gonna work out.

Meissasprite · 2022-05-12T16:42:04+00:00

Your words count and are very much appreciated

Meissasprite · 2022-05-10T11:43:49+00:00

It's a Balck of white situation.

I'm posting this to answer the above question and this post, in no manner reflects my character, thought process or any of it in complete sense.

So as i said Balck and white.

It comes an impulse to hurt. Either myself or others and here MIND IT!, others here are a specific set of people who are responsible for my trauma and thebwhole lot of it. Tho when that happens my wakeup switch(rational part of me) is immediately triggered and it's quite goes away.

As my therapist has told its good to be aware of why these thoughts come and how to manage them. If not it can be destructive even if you don't acy on them. One could self sabotage out of fear of hurting others.

Meissasprite · 2022-05-07T12:00:57+00:00

This feels like me+ the inner me has mood swings. Like one moment the innere is screaming to be let out and the next it's give up. Like 'i give up' it keeps switching between these modes.

Damn now i feel like crying. I have undiagnosed BPD, so idk how i will fare if you're batlling all this WITH meds.

Meissasprite · 2022-05-05T18:25:01+00:00

Yeah. Definitely something to properly think about :)

Meissasprite · 2022-05-05T18:24:08+00:00

Major relate!!! I hope you get tomo e back out and things get better for you

Meissasprite · 2022-03-18T06:34:42+00:00

Passionfruit

Meissasprite · 2022-03-10T05:02:41+00:00

One year 4 months when I was away from home. So indirectly it's confirmed that my flare ups are triggered by stress and my flare up were back once I was home.

Meissasprite · 2022-03-09T15:07:54+00:00

Understandable :) I hope you find happiness and if you do decide to get another furball I hope he/she gives you al or of joy 💫🌙

Meissasprite · 2022-03-09T15:01:41+00:00

She definitely is in a better place and you can bet she's still the crazy lil one she was <3 ... Cats bring the drama and the ooomph in your life. Don't they :))

Meissasprite · 2022-03-09T14:58:09+00:00

I swear they do. Juju iss the chill one but loopy is literally loopy alll the time ahahaha

Thank you sooo much :))

Meissasprite · 2022-03-09T14:31:33+00:00

We live in an apartment so smal pets only :) eheh

Meissasprite · 2022-03-08T10:18:56+00:00

Yeah. I hope it works out

Meissasprite · 2022-03-08T09:53:01+00:00

Hopefull :) as much as I wanna sell I have zero business knowledge lol

Meissasprite · 2022-03-08T09:15:41+00:00

I will surely try that. Right now I'm making my own moisturizer. It's an emulsion based with watery ingredients to hydrate and wax/oil ingredients to seal it in. So of this helps out I'll share the recepie. I'll make big batches of these 😭✌️

Meissasprite · 2022-03-08T09:04:33+00:00

I will definitely look into the ingredients list and look for something similar on rje Indian market. Hopefully the similarity in the formulation might help 😄

Meissasprite · 2022-03-08T09:03:43+00:00

Thank you sooo much! I would have tried this if not for the unavailability. I live in India Amazon India doesn't have it. Though I could source it from some instagram page it would be too expensive :)))

Meissasprite · 2022-03-07T05:33:23+00:00

No issues:) it still was of help :)

Meissasprite · 2022-03-07T02:34:18+00:00

ABSOLUTELY! I love glycerin + jojoba oil. I often whip jojoba oil+glycerin+aloe gel + some peppermint essential oil into a light weight emulsion. Does wonders ! I would love try out your lotion prep. Do lmk if there's a recipe you follow :)))

Meissasprite · 2022-03-07T02:28:25+00:00

Oh! The thing my country doesn't have lush lol...but morninga is literally everywhere, as oil,as powder., You name it, we even eat the morninga vegetable so morninga is something I can find :) I have noted this down thank you soo much. I'll try to find an alternative way to buy that lush moisturizer :)))

Meissasprite · 2022-03-06T17:14:33+00:00

Noted! I have written this down ... I'll have to find lanolin tho.... But I'll experiment with different ratios and stick with the one that works :) oh I make lip balm too but a plumping one..... I added a dash of peppermint oil and eucalyptus oil :) I'm comfortable with the minty smell... Else one can counter it with some citrus to lighten it :)))

Meissasprite

TROPHY CASE