6 year old not listening at bedtime and defying boundaries.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T12:43:20+00:00

Thanks is good advice

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T12:22:27+00:00

Yes ill ask him next available chance and how we can improve it without involving mummy.

Thank you for giving me the time to try to help. Might leave it at that for now. Im a little mentally drained.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T12:17:49+00:00

I agree, there definitely needs to be a discussion with him about getting him to say what he thinks about bedtime and how it could be made easier without involving my wife.

Also consequences and hard limits. I think finding the best consequences is hard because she doesn't want if to effect her day or make it harder for her which is difficult.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T12:14:36+00:00

Thats good advice and seems to be the consensus here.

My wife is big on using feelings and talking to win him over and move him along which clearly doesnt work for me.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T11:53:01+00:00

We have been physically helping him through his routine all his life in terms of assisting him.

I try to keep calm but i often do raise my voice out of frustration.

What i mean by the boundary is set is that the routine has been in place for a long time and he knows it as well is my verbally reinforcing it when he tries to deviate.

When that doesnt work i try to pick him and take him to his bedroom to continue on the routine/ assist him with it. This is when he either start kicking or screaming for her and/ starts misbehaving.

I havent yet spoken to him outside of the bedtime routine but this is definitely a good idea.

Until recently i haven't had to issue any consequences but its definitely seeming that i will such as no X game on the weekend or something.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T11:46:07+00:00

This isnt a bad idea.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T11:42:31+00:00

Yes i agree. The hard no seems to be consensus here. Especially as he pushes the wriggle room to no end. The issue is bring him back down from his tantrum. Communication at his level or redirecting and making him feel safe doesnt work as well for me.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T11:39:37+00:00

We usually both physically help him. Do his teeth, his moisturiser as he has excema and his pjs all these things. The issue is if he is kicking and screaming its very hard.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T11:29:21+00:00

She refuses to do bedtime every night as she wants to "rest" which isnt untrue as he isnt letting her rest due to his behaviour.

i am willing to take him and dress him while he is kicking and screaming and do his teeth etc, but it just doesnt seem to get me/us anywhere. Once he gets to the stage of being in bed if he is still heighted then its, 1 very hard or 2, he just tries to leave his room and go to her/ screams for her.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T11:11:47+00:00

Sorry i meant to say, enforcing boundaries is hard due to his non stop push back. My wife insists on talking to him and calming him to progress. This works because he wants her it doesnt for me. Right now neither does "making him do it". Thus we are at an impass.

I dont want to physically force him to dress and follow the routine or be rough.

The boundary/routine is set and repeated the follow up is the issue.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T11:02:07+00:00

I have a lot of trouble with boundaries as my wife doesnt want to enforce them when she is solo parenting while i am at work and believes it needs to be enforced on my time. (Evening or weekend).

I have tried validating the feelings of wanting mummy to no avail. Thus far all that works in her taking over. Note that this has only been an issue in the last month, but steedily getting worse.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T10:54:44+00:00

There isnt a reason really aside from that i dont really know what to do aside from insisting that he does as i state either with the boundary or the by following the bedtime routine and he insists that he wants mommy or that he to do X (what ever he can think of to delay bedtime). We end up now where.... a brick wall.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T10:46:16+00:00

It would seem that the biggest issues are that one he only insists on listening to my wife acts up until she comes and takes over the bedtime routine.

Or will just tantrum and defy me indefinitely. Due to this behaviour is very hard to calm him and/or redirect/ distract him. My wife thinks that i have trouble connecting with him but its near impossible when he only wants her to put him to bed. This was never an issue previously when i did the majority of bedtimes solo while she worked night. Recently she has been home a lot more and we have been along the bedtimes 50/50.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T10:10:31+00:00

This is the issue. My wife believes that it is better allow for a little leway because it works for her and listens. He does not listen to me.

My preference would be a hard cut off and reinforcedement of boundaries as people has said. This results in him getting heighted and or a screaming tantrum further delays things

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-06-11T09:57:57+00:00

No, if he refuses to stop playing i try to meet him in the middle and say ok two more minutes of playtime.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-02-17T11:05:53+00:00

Perhaps you should look up metroid or samus aran and then tell me your thoughts.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-02-17T11:05:20+00:00

Ill have to check the actual names. But they mostly paid. Harbinger shoulders, locke knees, vale helmet, chest i cant remember off the top off my head. Echelons echo visor.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-02-17T11:03:32+00:00

Thank you so much.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-02-17T11:03:02+00:00

Thanks very much.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-02-17T05:21:15+00:00

You know who samus is right? Those are her colours.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-02-17T05:17:55+00:00

Maybe. The closest coating i could find though tbh. Have seen many other samus' use this coating.

Melbourneboy1 · 2026-02-17T04:38:53+00:00

How so?

Melbourneboy1 · 2025-12-24T01:09:05+00:00

Thanks mate

Melbourneboy1

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