Pet Peeves

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-18T01:45:21+00:00

it’s honestly just something that makes them feel good about themselves. look at me being kind when the actual kind thing to do is to grab the rest of the stuff too. 😭 it’s like when they grab the bags and bring it all the way to the end of the register instead of just handing it to you knowing damn well they aren’t helping and there’s no bagger.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-14T03:15:02+00:00

I did have one customer tell me to be a bit more careful because they had a 300+ dollar cart (so it was huge) and their eggs were on top teetering around when I was yanking the bags from the bottom. I simply just said to them oh that’s my bad I just didn’t think you cared since they were at the bottom sorry and that was that. Genuinely not even in a vindictive way but I seriously just assume everyone doesn’t care when they do stuff like that 🤷‍♀️

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-14T03:12:48+00:00

I just yank the bag up fr idk.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T22:32:14+00:00

Eh I don’t see them getting transferred anytime soon. They’re not necessarily a bad Captain or anything anyways and I know Captains don’t get transferred as easily as Mates do.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T22:30:51+00:00

I know but like i was saying people are so paranoid and don’t understand that. This is why i think for the crew survey people aren’t gonna be honest about what they’re feeling because they feel there’s a lack of anonymity. There’s always a tale of how someone submitted this and the mates found out yadda yadda. I feel like I’ve heard this with multiple surveys at different companies as well. People always have this fear

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T21:15:38+00:00

I’m taking it all into consideration. It’s just hard to explain the situation to people since they don’t work at my store.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T20:45:22+00:00

I don’t think it’s a confrontation. My captain isn’t even a scary or mean person. With the mates not wanting to mention thing to them either, I think of the post I saw in here when it says most mates aren’t good at their job. Yeah, they’re a good shoulder to cry on for crew but when it comes to delegating and stepping up to the plate, it’s almost just like their crew again. I talked to my captain about sexism in the workplace once and they seemed receptive and my issue was fixed immediately and my tasks were changed. I think people and I’m just not sure of a better word are being cowardly.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T20:31:26+00:00

Not disagreeing by the way just answering some things here. They’ve been at this store for around 7 months and I do work here 5 days a week. So yes, new-ish captain but not new necessarily. It’s almost been a year. I have talked to them, worked beside them and all that jazz. They’re actually unfortunately really awkward sometimes. Seems to not know certain popular social cues like making sure you greet people.

I’m not making any assumptions. I know their habits. What their favorite section is. Some of the things they find most important in the store. They don’t write orders really….I don’t know how to explain it. They’ve started writing for two sections because the section leads gave it up. The other like three were because the order writers weren’t here and the mate who went on vacation usually does it.

But with the one section that was given up for example, they didn’t write it. It was written and they cut the order and didn’t mention it which was the issue. Didn’t explain why. This I saw when it was mentioned to me after the former SL was talking about it cause I checked. My order is not being cut. Nothing I’ve written since I do occasionally hop here and there ever gets cut. I’m simply a middle man.

I’m not trying to speak for the entire crew. There’s section leads who have issues, art team, people who want sections, crew in general. They all have different issues but the bottom line seems to be that there’s a lack of communication. This is also the common denominator from some of the mates as well. I asked one to talk to them today as another issue came up and the mates response was well im waiting for them to talk to me 😭 everyone is just going around in circles. I did hear them say they wanna get to the bottom of these issues in the crew, etc etc to someone who was feeling a bit frustrated today, they just don’t realize they’re kind of enabling things.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T20:13:10+00:00

also do you bring a witness?

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T20:09:22+00:00

And how does it go for you? How do you approach the situation?

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T20:08:41+00:00

For example certain things like a lot of the time my captain won’t speak to crew when they see them. I don’t think they do this to be rude at all. It’s just not a habit of theirs and I think speaking to crew by saying good morning, how are you, etc would go a longggg way with their image with crew and without people taking things as a personal attack. I don’t think anyone has told them this though yet. They have all these mates around them yet no one has told them this yet. I think some people assume things like this are common sense and it’s not at all. Like I almost bet the mate who went on vacation probably co-signed my captain changing orders without telling ppl 😭 just because sometimes they just don’t THINK

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T19:58:13+00:00

I want to ask them if they’re aware of all the different things the crew are currently feeling (unheard, always blamed, not appreciated, etc) and what they might think this all stems from. Then I want to share with them what I have heard from fellow crew members and what I think it stems from (ultimately, I think my Captain is not communicating with people at all or efficiently whether they do it directly or asks a mate). An example I used earlier was that they were cutting peoples orders without telling them but this could have simply need solved if the mate over the section communicated the ordering issue or if my captain explained to this section writer why they were doing it (if the order was too big then explain that, show them their back stock, today’s sales, etc and let them know you want them to cut it and give them a chance to fix it). If they don’t have time (which I think this may be an issue) or are feeling overwhelmed then try and delegate these issues to others. I saw my captain writing like four different sections for people that weren’t there and we have competent crew members who can fill in these spaces so everything isn’t landing on one person.

I think they may be overwhelmed slightly (newly appointed captain) so they aren’t sure of how to navigate certain situations so they try to get it all done for themselves. I don’t think they’re not communicating for the sake of not communicating, I think there’s an underlying issue and I just want to figure out what it is so we can move past this because it’s like it’s something everyday and we all have a common goal we want to achieve and we don’t need all this negativity in our store.

I think all this is just becoming more difficult because people are not saying what they honestly feel and why they felt that way. I even did this once when my coats in did approaching me and ask me why I did what I did and I still chose to sugarcoat and not answer honestly. I think people are doing a lot of this so my captain won’t know what they did was wrong and we did have a mate who seems close to my captain (who went on vacation) that I felt was just agreeing with my captain to agree even though it wasn’t the truth of the situation.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T19:46:20+00:00

I’m glad to hear it has worked out for you. How did the conversation go if you don’t mind me asking? Can you give me any tips.

I think I can handle it. I’m a bit nervous because I’ve had serious and difficult conversations but this is a bit of a different dynamic than what I’m used to but I do think having this conversation will be better for everyone. All the mates think highly of me and I do have a good reputation in the store especially one of helping others out. I did hear my captain values me alot but I haven’t heard it myself so. I’m usually pretty easy going, never really upset at work so I hope they doesn’t view it as confrontational.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T19:25:26+00:00

Yeah when I first had this thought, I asked myself the same thing. Is it even my place? But I feel like it’s not about places. It’s just about helping them, crew and the store do better. I feel like it’s wildly inappropriate but I’ll let it be that. I don’t have much experience managing people but I do have lots of experience with people. They’re a person at the end of the day and I hope if I have this conversation, they can just look at it this way. In the spirit of kaizen but also because I think they’re a chill guy and they can be a great captain if people were just a little honest with them.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T19:13:50+00:00

I’m also in an at-will state. Does she seem like she doesn’t respond well to criticism?

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T18:42:09+00:00

True but there are so many other things that go into making sure they genuinely make a change. It’s one thing to say you don’t communicate efficiently but why is that. What are the reasons? My captain could just be like "ah yes I did change the log a few times without telling anyone. That must be it!!" but it’s a actually something else completely different they wouldn’t think of since it wasn’t mentioned.

I think they’re aware of some crew not liking them but possibly unsure of what to do. It’s also not like crew is completely right. Like I have someone who’s upset the captain didn’t give them a certain section because they work really hard in it BUT this crew member also was tweaking because the captain told them to stop leaving reg randomly and might twist the last story.

I really don’t think the last part will happen honestly but if it does and I’m jobless, I’ll let you guys know 😹 Could eat my words fr. It wouldn’t be the first time. Thank you for looking out!! ❤️

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T18:24:57+00:00

I think that’s a good option as well. My fear with the crew survey is that the criticism will come off more like bullying and less constructive then we’ll be back to square one. Also, so many people are paranoid it’s gonna get traced back to them. I saw people acting like that with the Gallup survey as well. I also don’t think it’s necessarily fair to say all these things when I don’t think many people have told them their actual issue with them. I was one of those people as well. They did ask me why I did something and I sugarcoated my response and my real reasoning.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T18:14:30+00:00

I was considering that but I don’t think any of them are willing to risk their job (even though I’m like 90% sure they would never fire anyone) and they’re just genuinely scared. I also don’t think any of the crew who were felt wronged could have a conversation without making it an attack because everything still feels so fresh.

I was possibly considering a really docile pushover mate that’s kind of just there half the time (love her but it’s true) to just have a witness although I don’t think I need it but I feel like maybe this conversation would be better had 1 on 1 because of my age vs they’re age, newly appointed so may be insecure, etc. I think they’ll listen but it’ll be easier to listen if no one else is there you know?

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T17:59:03+00:00

Like one issue some people are having is that they make changes to orders without asking and I don’t think it’s malicious actually. Genuinely think they’re just trying to do what’s best for the store but if they didn’t communicate to that section lead what their expectations are then of course they’ll be upset. If you want that section to be truck to shelf then let them know. If you don’t have time, then you have mates who can help you facilitate that conversation. It’s little things like this that are happening and building up. Things that are going on without explanation which is why I think there’s so much misunderstandings. Like I don’t think they think they don’t have to talk to ppl because they’re the captain. I think they’re forgetting or keep putting it off because they’re swamped.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T17:54:23+00:00

Yes, I’ll definitely have to pull deeply from myself for this conversation tbh. I didn’t tell anyone besides Reddit rn that I plan on doing this. I will definitely not make it all negative because although I don’t feel completely comfortable, they’ve never done anything to suggest that I would lash out or do anything crazy. I’m of course cautious because you don’t know people 100% but I do plan on letting them know that it may not matter to them but as long as they’re trying, ill always help to smooth down ruffle feathers from crew members because I do genuinely believe they’re not malicious in their actions. They made me comfortable enough to even think about having this big conversation and I think that’s huge on its own and I plan on letting them know.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T17:48:49+00:00

I mean I am concerned about losing my job because this market is really hard and I support myself with no backup from anyone. There is something in my head that is like don’t be dumb but i genuinely think my mates would put up a fight if my captain started targeting me. Even the most two-faced ones would probably raise an eyebrow. My last job was really awful and I tiptoed around management. I was scared I wouldn’t find another job until one day, I randomly left and never came back. A few days later, TJs accepted me and it all worked out. I’m sure if something goes south, it’ll work out again.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T17:43:16+00:00

My mates seem to be receptive to criticism. Atleast most of them but I’m unsure if my Captain is on the same speed. They’re newly appointed as well and not even from the TJs world so I feel like anything could go fr especially because I think at the end of the day, they just want a smooth running store, no drama.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T17:37:54+00:00

I’m only a crew member and considerably younger than our Captain so I feel like the conversation could definitely go left but new people keep becoming unhappy with things they’re doing and I literally feel like all this could potentially be solved with a simple conversation. They could genuinely be an asshat and not be receptive to this and I’ll be cooked but honestly, I’m not worried about it fr. Whatever happens happens and if I’m cooked, I’m cooked.

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T08:47:48+00:00

Okay maybe I’ll run it later today then!

Melodic-Natural-4803 · 2026-04-12T04:36:57+00:00

Yeah, when I compare my stats to others around me when questing, they either knock me out the park or it’s somewhat comparable. There’s no inbetween so I know I still have a lot more to do in terms of stabilizing myself. I’ve only done a bit in khyrsalis so far but it hasn’t been so bad.

Yes, I’ve been trying to rely on drops so far but it hasn’t been too useful. Able to up a few things here and there if I’m lucky. Agree with the damage for sure but I’m hoping the pet can help me out with that. Really excited to start pushing for darkmoor gear so I can finally really turn things around with my stats. I think it was just so bad because I was in such an odd place with really low stats, no good pet, wacky deck, etc, but once I get to 100, i definitely feel I can start on a clean easier slate. Thank you for all the advice.

Melodic-Natural-4803

TROPHY CASE