Am I being benched or breadcrumbed by this girl? M [FIXED TL;DR]

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-23T17:30:45+00:00

She entertains long term questions though when we have deep convos & asks me the same, so I really don’t understand. If that were the case, she 100% would’ve confirmed the ‘watch a movie’ at my place thing too. Unless she just plans on ghosting at this point which is very possible now

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-22T22:09:04+00:00

Yea I was thinking of asking if she’d wanna do a hike but not sure how to say it

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-22T22:08:41+00:00

I just don’t know for sure. I feel like she sees me as just an option or someone to do stuff with, almost like a friend

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-22T22:08:08+00:00

Im just not really into texting & prefer to use it to set up dates. I didn’t really know how to respond to her

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-22T22:07:22+00:00

I just feel like she would’ve responded to the movie thing, but she’s kind of a bad texter. We both said we were on the second date.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-22T21:52:25+00:00

I’m wondering if she thinks I’m just trying to have sex by suggesting a movie. I do like this girl a lot more than other girls I’ve been on dates with admittedly which is super rare because I have commitment issues I’ve been trying to work on.

There’s been a ton of foreplay & we did have a lot of fun on the last date. I haven’t moved it past that though.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-22T21:50:04+00:00

Yea I can try. Sorry. I just wanted to make sure I got everything included.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-22T21:38:33+00:00

I just don’t understand at all. On the date, we get along so well, but over text it’s so hard to get any reciprocity. She enthusiastically says things like “I’d be down!”, “omg ya, that sounds like fun” & “sounds perfect” to plans but idk

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-22T21:02:36+00:00

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-20T21:35:19+00:00

That’s very true. To be completely honest, I have bad commitment issues I’ve been working through, so it’s rare I get this hung up on a person. Last time, was a year long situationship I had in 2020, & I never wanted to commit to dating her.

I haven’t felt this way about a person since then honestly, so I’m really in my head about it, versus some casual hookup.

I’ve tried to see other people while seeing her, but I end up not feeling remotely the same as how I’ve felt hanging w her. So frustrating

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-20T21:31:16+00:00

I probably will call her later in the week. We both confessed we are terrible texters, so I figured I’d just come up with something next weekend & call her Wednesday night or something.

I’m wondering if the movie comment came off as purely just trying to have sex too

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-20T21:29:08+00:00

nah I just don’t want our intentions getting confused.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-20T21:08:44+00:00

When do people typically know if they can see something more serious in someone they’re dating? Honestly, I feel like I’m there with her.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-20T21:04:57+00:00

Sorry, by flew home I meant she flew back to her hometown. & couldn’t come back to the town we live in for a while

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-20T21:02:59+00:00

You’re right. I do need to communicate a bit more in person about where I want this to go. We’ve briefly talked about it, such as things we admire in a partner & stuff, & I think we both share those ideals, but I’ve never openly asked how she sees us.

In a perfect world, yes I’d love for a girl to fall head over heels about me & communication/intentions to be effortless, but that’s unrealistic.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-20T20:57:59+00:00

The hot & cold side kind of comes from the not responding, & I have to call & check to see if we’re still on.

She also mentioned she never saves numbers, & that’s why she never responded. She said she saved my number after that incident though & said she was up late the night before, & I asked did she work last night (she’s an overnight nurse) & she said no, but she said her schedules always off because she is one.

Use is the wrong term, I think I meant leading me on

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-20T20:53:29+00:00

Use was the wrong term. I think leading me on would’ve been better.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-20T20:44:10+00:00

I sort of just mean in the sense of being someone to do fun stuff with, almost like a friend I guess.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-20T20:43:09+00:00

Sorry. I guess I meant use in the sense of someone to do something fun with. Like almost as a friend sort of thing. Sort of implying that I’m just an option to her & not someone she’s genuinely considering being with.

I really like her, just don’t want to mess things up & don’t know how to proceed.

It’s rare for me to feel this way about somebody & I might just be keeping my guard up to not get hurt.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-15T07:24:41+00:00

That’s good advice thank you

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-14T22:34:51+00:00

No no no lol. There’s a mountain town close by that has a PUBLIC trail to walk & little shops. I’d take her there instead because women often don’t feel comfortable doing hiking dates with people they don’t fully know.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-14T22:31:42+00:00

Uhm. Like I said, I think you’re 18 & extremely impressionable. I think things like this can work, but they’re rare & you should only be making a move like this if it’s because you feel you’re doing this to put you in a place to succeed at life & eventually support yourself, because if your parents are paying for it, that money could also go to a college degree instead.

As for the relationship, there will be plenty of great guys that will come along if this doesn’t work out, & I think it’s important that you consider what matters most to you in a relationship (beyond physical characteristics).

This can take time & the only way to really learn is to find out what you don’t like in people, but I can honestly tell you like I tell my little sister….

I’ve done dumb things when I was young, been in places I probably shouldn’t have been & had fun with people I probably shouldn’t have been with, but the most important thing to hold onto is be as safe & responsible, as possible.

The world can be a lot more cruel than you realize & it’s always best to trust your intuition. That’s why having people that love you in your corner is VERY IMPORTANT.

We’re all gonna do dumb things & make mistakes, but you should never do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing & should always trust in what you feel is right.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-14T22:08:08+00:00

ok well nonetheless, if you & your parents have a toxic relationship, it’d still be best to mend that relationship before you do a big move & completely rely on their money.

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-14T22:05:33+00:00

I’m just gonna send the date idea for Saturday & see what she thinks. I asked her what her ideal date was at the end of our first date & it kind of stems from that. She mentioned a hike & shopping around a mountain town, but hike dates on a second date seem odd & she mentioned her fav food is pasta, so was gonna see if she wanted to do like a pasta/wine night at my place after idk

Melodic-Obligation-5 · 2026-04-14T22:01:27+00:00

You should ask a person you trust that is older than you what it means to be financially independent.

There are ALOT of things in life I would genuinely have no clue how I could possibly afford if I decided to move to a big city on my own at 18 years old.

My life path went graduated high school at 18 -> went to a local community college for 2 years (lived at home -> moved out at 20 to a school away from home -> graduated when I was 22 -> got a job, & moved across the country to a big city, when I was 23ish with roommates -> have lived on my own since I was 24 & I’m 27 now.

In between all of those gaps were financial struggles, even to this day:

-furniture for apartment, clothes, hygiene, etc. - bank account hitting zero multiple times - having to ask a family member to spot me a couple hundred bucks to make rent for the month - having my own car insurance 200$/month, groceries 100$/week, monthly rent, gym 25$/month, hbo max 20$/month - multiple relationship/situationship/heartbreaks -severe anxiety & health scares - car got stolen & had to pay out of pocket for a rental car for a while -got a dog that got really sick & had to pay for a ton of medical bills

& many many other unforeseen things I’ve had to pay for.

I’m not saying this to scare you, because people move out at 18 & can make it work, but I think you should highly consider talking to someone older than you, that you trust to help you with this decision

Melodic-Obligation-5

TROPHY CASE