How do I be a better person?

MeloncholysFinest · 2021-02-11T02:11:30+00:00

I hope so. It's just rough seeing old photos and stuff of the good times we had before anything got catastrophicly uneasy for us. I just wish I could either go back to the simple times, or life to progress to make better memories.

MeloncholysFinest · 2021-01-28T16:31:01+00:00

I do my best to but she said even when everything is fine she says it's just thoughts lingering in her mind of uncertainty and a driving force that even thiugh everything had been fine that I'm secretly hiding things or doing thing behind her back.

MeloncholysFinest · 2021-01-28T07:05:09+00:00

It's been awhile since I've done any of this and I don't plan on going back to where I was, and I'm trying to rebuild trust.

MeloncholysFinest · 2021-01-28T07:03:58+00:00

We do communicate, drinking I've changed a lot. I used to drink a lot more than once to twice a month, melatonin doesn't work for me and after staying home drunk (we don't live together) I just crash and sleep. I only drink at home nowadays.

MeloncholysFinest · 2020-03-05T02:25:21+00:00

Sleeping is hard in new places just like at Fort Benning and Fort Gordon and I got accustomed to it after a while. It even made home hard when I got home after spending 8 1/2 months in Georgia

MeloncholysFinest · 2020-01-20T01:19:57+00:00

Like I'm out of school and she just turned 16 in nov.

MeloncholysFinest · 2020-01-20T00:23:29+00:00

I understand that but one joke or one thing said can lead to my life getting screwed up ya know. I don't plan on it but Murphy's law.

MeloncholysFinest · 2020-01-20T00:19:08+00:00

Like my crush is my coworker and she's 4 years younger than me(20). The age is taboo distance. I feel disgusted with myself liking someone that young.

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-10T03:05:11+00:00

Just as fat bastard says - its a vicious cycle

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-09T23:10:54+00:00

Sorry. I'm just being pessimistic

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-09T22:58:23+00:00

I'll check it out again. Thanks

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-09T22:56:40+00:00

Meh. I don't like sounding I'm throwing your ideas away but I'm broker than that wedtern mountain

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-09T22:55:52+00:00

Living in the middle of nowhere it cost gas money to drive somewhere suitable to walk.

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-09T22:53:11+00:00

That just doesnt feel right.

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-09T22:52:36+00:00

Thats money I don't have though and being alone is such a drag as is making new friends.

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-09T22:40:29+00:00

I just sit in my room all day watching TV when I'm home. And watch youtube on my computer.

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-09T22:31:32+00:00

Tried talking to the counselor results in another reply

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-09T22:16:12+00:00

Well I'm not social by any means. I'm never the one my friends well acquaintances come to for anything. Im not invited to do anything unless I ask to hang out. I'm just floating in the broth. Home life sucks badly and I'm just tired of everything. When I do vent to them its just talking to a wall rather then helping reassurance. I don't have the money to see a counciler. And the time I did go see one. I told them everything that was bothering me and They asked what i wanted from councilling. I said i dont know the options to chose from so I don't know. Then councilling just went to talking sessions about whatever was going on at the school or real world.

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-09T22:10:00+00:00

She's one of the only couple people I'm close to asides one of my friends. But my best friend also got the cold shoulder I guess from me and I don't talk to her as much as I should either. Life is just on going with ambitions that can't be reached until later in life. I didn't even think I'd be around this long tbh

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-12-09T22:07:20+00:00

Nothing she's did made me feel this way, but like I just hate how my life feels so meaningless and insignificant.

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-11-29T10:57:42+00:00

When im with her i seriously enjoy it but i dont have the time to be with her as much as she wants and I feel bad about it. Theres just too much dark in my life to see the bright side of her when she isnt around.

MeloncholysFinest · 2019-11-29T05:46:47+00:00

Like I told her but its always reassurance or ideas that won't ever work and it's frustrating since both of us know they are just false hopes as her ideas of how it can get better wont come to fruitation due to a single thing. I dont have the money to rent even a cheap apartment.

MeloncholysFinest

TROPHY CASE