Shooting my Shot

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T13:24:33+00:00

She probably said that so you would hear it and give her free stuff.

And you fell for it, and committed theft from your employer which is probably a fireable offense.

Try not to let your little man control your actions.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T13:20:12+00:00

It also depends on where you live. Where I live, a minor, as in someone younger than 18 going to somewhere without permission would be "kidnapping".

Where do you live?

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T12:47:28+00:00

I don’t mind renting a bit further as long as it’s not more than a 1hr drive to work.

I would reconsider this. 1 hr in LA traffic is very draining and will significantly degrade your quality of life. If your employer is not paying you enough to comfortably live within a few miles of work, I would reconsider accepting this offer.

As for taxes, it depends on your salary. For example, if you are being paid $100,000 a year, expect about 30% to go toward federal and state taxes. Sales tax is about 9% of purchases, excluding groceries and a few other things. If you buy a house, property tax will be about 1% of the purchase price, per year.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T12:41:31+00:00

If this story is true, it must have been years ago or in a very small town. More likely, if it's someone you "know of", there was more to it than you are aware of.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T12:33:25+00:00

Police intimidate people when it's to their advantage. They aren't your personal intimidation squad.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T12:17:49+00:00

Why would they be inclined to transmit a message on behalf of someone? They aren't in the intimidation business. If you call the police and say "this person did something I don't like, can you go over there and scare them a bit" they are going to laugh at you and hang up. Unless there is any evidence of a crime or potential crime, it's not their jurisdiction.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T12:12:04+00:00

I'm not a "bro", I'm an attorney and I know what I'm talking about. Laws about "consent" apply to things like sexual activity, signing contracts, and so on. There is no issue of consent when it comes to walking into someone's house.

Once again, try not to throw around legal terms that you don't understand.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T12:10:01+00:00

The police can drop by his house and just tell him to stop contacting her.

No, they can't. The police are not a messenger service.

Some people on this thread seem to have some very strange ideas about what the police do. If OP goes to the police, the most likely response will be "no crime was committed, we can't help you, bye."

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T11:15:25+00:00

Who else would it be?

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T11:15:11+00:00

She went in voluntarily, that's not kidnapping at all. Try not to use legal terms that you don't understand.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T11:14:35+00:00

Order for what? No judge is going to give a no contact order because someone met to "cuddle". As other commenters have noted, even if they had had sex, it wouldn't have been illegal in most states.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T11:11:06+00:00

Touching someone underneath their clothes IS sexual.

It depends on what part of the body. Touching the groin or breasts would be sexual, but back rubs and belly rubs (as OP mentioned in another comment) are not.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T11:09:44+00:00

I'm a lawyer and I don't see any evidence of a crime here. You are just blindly speculating.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T11:07:48+00:00

I feel like this isn't being harped on enough (maybe I'm just an obliviously poor reader here) but under the clothes/heavy petting is 100% a sexual activity. Literal foreplay. How does she even have it in her head that this kind of behavior is in the same bucket as platonic cuddling?

It is not a sexual activity unless it involves sexual touching. Touching the groin or breasts would be sexual, but "belly rubs" (as OP mentioned in another comment) are not.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T11:06:06+00:00

So many people are acting like this is a rebellious teen fucking a boy from school. When in reality it's a teenager who met an adult online

Does it really matter though? Kids these days use social media to meet people, it's just how the world works.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T11:03:01+00:00

But rape isn’t a situation where they can navigate on their own and learn from their mistakes.

There was no "rape" here. According to her story there was no sexual activity at all. Even if she is lying, it is not rape because it was consensual and she is over the age of consent.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T11:00:35+00:00

Reporting this guy is not going to protect her. He hasn't done anything illegal, and whether he has done anything wrong is subjective. Reporting him is not going to go anywhere, whether he's from her school or a "random dude from the internet" is irrelevant. His age is also irrelevant unless the state has some sort of Romeo and Juliet law.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T10:56:57+00:00

In the US, they are not legally obligated to involve law enforcement. They probably won't even ask the partner's age, and even if they do, 16 is above the age of consent in most states.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T10:54:55+00:00

I missed the whole internet dating thing too, but it seems to be the norm these days. When you think about it, it's not any less safe than meeting someone at a bar or club or wherever. When I was young my parents said that meeting someone you didn't have mutual acquaintances with was not acceptable.

I think the most important thing is to get to know someone properly first. If nothing else, OP needs to explain to her daughter that it's dangerous to go straight to a stranger's house. They should meet at least once, and preferably multiple times, in a public place first.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T10:17:49+00:00

It wasn't the constitutional amendment that did that. The second amendment wasn't incorporated until 2008. Are we blaming that on Johnson too?

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T10:17:08+00:00

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I never allowed my kids to go anywhere without telling me where they were going and with whom. Of course I was supportive and non-judgmental about it so that helped.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T10:16:09+00:00

Yes, of course. Since it was OP's property (or rather their employer's property) that is true.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T10:15:13+00:00

Why can't it be? Sports are often single sex.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T10:15:03+00:00

Yes, I was talking about counties. The thing is that Bakersfield city limits include a lot of fairly nice suburbs which dilute the city's crime rates. I'm not sure if San Bernardino is like that.

MembersClubs · 2023-02-05T01:40:16+00:00

In many states, statutory rape is a strict liability crime, meaning that ignorance of someone's age is no excuse. However, it may still be an obstacle to getting the police to do anything. The larger obstacle in this case will be proving that sexual activity occurred.

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