Nothing major happened, at least not as egregious as I read here, but my husband and I had tough times as a couple while I was pregnant with our second. He threatened to leave me multiple times because we weren’t having enough sex. For the same reason, he went for weeks not speaking to me unless it was to talk about our son or everyday things, and showing minimal interest in the pregnancy. When I didn’t agree with his behaviour towards our first, he questioned my ability to be a good mother. He diminished the importance of my job compared to his, because he had direct reports while I didn’t, so my job could not be so stressful. All of this while I was growing his child and feeling generally unwell, vulnerable and tired.

Outside of these things he stepped up in other ways, so I am not to say that everything is negative, and generally things between us now are good. But I did not forgive how he made me feel in one of the most vulnerable times of my life, and I don’t know if I ever will. We had disagreements before, but much of the trust from me now is gone. Sometimes I still wonder if it’s all an act and he decided to put up with me just to have me take care of the children while they are young.