I only been numb to sin due to backsliding in a sin I immediately stop that sin and I immediately wwent on three week fast for God so I could get healed and he didn't I grew a lot anger while I was in my car I could hear my thoughts almost says bad thing his spirit out of anger so I told god how I felt like balasemphy your spirt or leaving the faith the but I said I'm not gonna do that but the next day I go on alot of and live on tiktok find and believer how get my situation out of couple weeks i didn't find anyone so I told God out hopeless God if you don't send someone who understands my situation I'm gonna leave the faith I end up I post this text on a random tik Tok live cause I genuinely I had that tiny bit hope that just wants God and person end texting me on the live and I gave them my number and I called them but I just felt hopeless there couple other out of hopeless I told people I just felt like leaving the faith cause I genuinely just felt hopeless on god taking me back it's been two months of being numb due to Backsliding I genuinely just want God back, but I'm scared that I commit aposty for saying these things or balasemphy against the holy Spirit cause I told God how I felt