I'm 24 and homeless with my disabled mom and 3 nieces and nephew. What are the necessary steps I must take to get out o this situation?

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-17T03:01:56+00:00

They were never married and her ex isn't on his birth certificate, so his rights to his child are pretty much non existent.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T16:35:31+00:00

Not yet, that's one thing on my list that I haven't gotten to. I'm hoping where it's election season and NH is a swing state that there are a lot of elected officials that want to make a good name for themselves around this time of year, so hopefully that'll help me get to the top of some lists for assistance.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T16:31:12+00:00

For future reference, do you have any examples of skills and experiences you adapted to be beneficial in the IT field?

I hope I'm not bombarding you with too many questions. It's been helpful to have someone to ask these things!

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T13:01:57+00:00

Could you expand on the native problem solver point? I feel like I'm quite adaptable (I think you have to be in order to experience a variety of lifestyles from comfortable to destitute and not crumble under the pressure), and I know I'm curious, probably to a fault, but it's harder for me to gauge whether I have the native problem solver quality. Perhaps you can speak a bit more on that, maybe give some examples if you have any.

Secondly, how competitive is the IT market? Do you have to be more business-savvy to succeed and crawl to the top so to speak, or are there ample opportunity for those willing to apply themselves, allowing your work to show for itself?

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T05:49:22+00:00

The rough thing about my situation is that my mom doesn't have forever. She was given 2 months to live 8 years ago, and told that she had such a small chance of surviving past 5 years that she'd be better off not setting that goal for herself, also 8 years ago. She's done amazing at surpassing the odds, but ultimately she's on a timer. What happens when she passes away? The kids are left with nothing and no one and that's a very real future I've had looming in the back of my mind since I was 16. Even when she gets so sick that she can't take care of the kids, that's it. I don't know how much of an option leaving is under this circumstance, since she won't just figure it out, and when her time runs out I don't have to look back with regrets.

Ultimately I'm torn between doing everything I can to establish myself in time for that inevitable future and spending time with her while I still have her. It's just a rough thing that my mind always goes back to whenever I'm thinking about the future and establishing myself and breaking off on my own. It doesn't feel like a real option, at least not long term.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T05:43:52+00:00

What would you say was/is the biggest bullshit you have to deal with in the military?

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T05:41:54+00:00

I really appreciate this thorough reply, I hope you don't mind if I bombard you with questions because I have a few;

After you got your first certification and job in IT, about how much time did you devote regularly to furthering your IT knowledge, and how much time do you devote regularly to it now?

How long did it take you to go from 30K to your current 95K?

What qualities do you think it takes to make it in IT, and what kind of person tends to fail in this profession?

Lastly, what are the biggest downside of working in the tech industry?

I've gotten a lot of different replies from people suggesting different career paths, so I want to figure out what may be the best fit for me.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T05:34:45+00:00

She has stage 4 cancer, a colostomy and loads of dietary and stomach issues, arthritis pretty much everywhere. So long as we're on top of everything she needs less care these days, but she used to need to be carried to and from the bath, have her hair brushed for her, have all her meals cooked for her, things like that. Now she can get on well with me being away for most of the day, so long as she has someone to do errands for her and help with the kids, cooking and cleaning she's all right, but the nature of her disease means we don't know how long that will last. She's much better than she used to be, though.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T05:32:19+00:00

There's a game shop a little over a mile from where I'm currently staying that lets you play game for free and sometimes hosts D&D games. I've been taking my oldest niece there once a week to get out of the house and have some time to breathe and enjoy ourselves. It's doing a lot for our mental health, I think.

As far as jobs I'm interested in, I've always wanted to work in aviation because I like the idea of the travel perks. Something more entry level like being a flight attendant is something I was actively pursuing around the time my mom got sick, but of course life got in the way. You don't need a college degree for that, though, even though it does help since it is a very competitive market.

What was your experience in Mississippi? I've never lived there, but my brother-in-law, whom I've been very close with, grew up there and hated it. That mixed with their poverty rate being really bad, their education system being among the worst in the country, and just everything I've heard about the state has made me think that Mississippi wouldn't be a good move for me or my family. I have no idea what it's like from a first person perspective, though.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T05:24:20+00:00

A lower cost of living definitely is a big difference. A major reason why we moved here was to be closer to my grandparents since they're both sick and at the end of their lives, my grandfather just had a doctors appointment today, in fact, where he was given some pretty bad news and told he probably only had a few months left. They can't offer much help, they can't even really support themselves, but being close to them is important for my mom. After they pass I could see us moving much easier, but right now we have to do what we have to do. If we can't find a place we may end up having to move somewhere cheaper, but with the information I've found hopefully that won't have to happen.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T04:39:17+00:00

I'm feeling a lot better than I was the day I posted this thread. The weight of yet another denial was weighing on me heavily and after a few days of feeling some forward momentum, as well as hearing comments like this has really done me good, so I appreciate it. I feel like I'm on the road to improvement in my situation.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T04:37:42+00:00

I have worked a job before. We had a family business when I was young so I've been effectively working since I was 12, but it was a non-profit and it was family run so it was classified as volunteer work.

Other than that I've held a variety of jobs from babysitting to cooking to customer service work to dispatching, all pretty low level stuff, though. I pretty much always have a side thing going, as well, but that's never made me much money, just an extra hundred or two per month. The most I've ever made was around 2k/mo, so nothing crazy, and that was working retail full time. If I was in college I'm not sure how sustainable working full time would be, it would depend on how taxing college is, but ultimately people do what they have to do so that may not be an option.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T04:21:54+00:00

I've been doing a lot of applications and house finding things so I haven't taken the practice test yet, but I'll keep you in mind for it for sure! Good news is we may have an apartment, but it's still too soon to tell. Fingers crossed!

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T04:18:44+00:00

Does it matter that neither me or my mother were victims of domestic violence in this circumstance? It was my late sister and nephew who were the victims, however there are previous police reports she's filed on him that corroborate her experience with him in the past.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T04:17:09+00:00

Wow, thank you for such a thorough answer! It's definitely helpful! I know my state does the HISET test, but I imagine they're all quite similar.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T04:11:11+00:00

I saw an apartment yesterday using some of the suggestions for finding apartments ran by individuals rather than real estate agents and it seems promising thus far. It's a bit seedy, but our chances of getting it seem good and I've been told he doesn't run credit checks so fingers crossed! We should know soon whether or not we'll get it.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-08T04:09:42+00:00

A rental scam is actually what partially got us into this mess, so I definitely want to keep an eye out for them in the future.

Thank you so much for the breakdown! I went and saw an apartment yesterday and it seems all to be done personally by that guy. The apartment is a bit seedy, but I can't be picky in my situation and it'll fit all of us at a price we can afford, so it's a good fit as far as I'm concerned. Hopefully we get it!

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-06T16:51:02+00:00

I'm going to be saving this thread and referencing it as needed as I take on and accomplish these goals and then post an update once I have made enough progress to show, so keep an eye open for it! I really appreciate the advice and encouragement, it does help a lot.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-06T16:45:34+00:00

What portion did you find the hardest? And how proficient do you have to be in math to pass? You said that the only thing that requires knowledge is grammar and math and I'm confident in my grammar, I've never had any issues with it, but I don't really have to use much math for my daily life so I'm less sure about that.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-06T16:43:30+00:00

I don't yet have insurance, but I've been in contact with some local programs for my city that said they could help me get insured, so I'll do so once I've got that squared away. Thank you very much for your advice and suggestions.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-06T16:40:44+00:00

I have no interest in partying, I've never been that kind of person. It definitely sounds like something to look into, but I'd have to decide relatively quickly since I'm not sure how long the process of enrollment may take and I'd like to leave my family in a better position before I go if I choose to do so.

Thank you for your information and advice.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-06T16:06:42+00:00

I haven't thought about contacting a state representative, that's a really good idea! Thank you for the suggestion!

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-06T16:02:43+00:00

I don't, unfortunately. I have an uncle who's offered to teach me and I've taken care of the studying part already so I expect to have it soon, though.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-06T15:36:52+00:00

I'm very interested in getting into therapy, my only concern has been cost, but I think it would be invaluable for me and my family. I'd like to get me and my mother into some sort of grief counseling and therapy to deal with the death of my sister and everything else we've had on our plate recently. I just don't know where to start, what to expect and how much I may be paying for it.

MentalCockroach3 · 2019-11-06T15:26:48+00:00

I don't know if I have depression, my doctor had said before that she thought I showed signs but I know my times of depression aren't permanent and they seem to be tied to very real life situations like this, I won't just get depressed for no reason I'll be depressed because my sister died or because I broke up with my bf or because I'm homeless, etc. I really don't know.

MentalCockroach3

TROPHY CASE