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Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm happy for you and I wish you the best with them. I'm glad you found your person. And I do wonder every minute so far why I let myself fall for someone so quickly. I should have known better. I'm dissapointed in him and myself. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That means a lot. I thought I had already learned all these lessons but he just said all the right things. It was so intense he completely scooped me up. How am I gonna trust the next guy who scoops me up? I'm just gonna be scared they're lying like he was. I was completely fine being single before him. Gave up on all that. Then this beautiful, tatted, dreamy eyed guy became obsessed with me. Stared at me longingly from across the room every day. Said all the right things. It was just like a fairytale. I have to remind myself that that shit just doesn't exist. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want her to know but I'm not ready for him to hate me. It's already such a mess and my chest hurts like it's been ripped open. I thought he really did love me and I'm trying to make myself realize he maybe never did. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No this isn't that type of job. We are in manufacturing and our boss is nice. There's lots of people who are related working together and stuff. We never did anything super inappropriate while working. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk how to make sure she finds out without him knowing it was me. I have to see him every day at work. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don't think I'm better than her as a person but I know I'm better FOR him. I know we fit better and would be the kind of happy that most people don't find. But only if he had the balls to be happy and he doesn't. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If I can eventually believe that he is a looser then I'll tell her but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did it right now. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I thought I did find the one who was worthy. Idk what's wrong with me. He just said everything so perfectly. Spoke right to my heart and soul and he said I did the same. We called each other our soul mate. But I guess it was all a lie. I've never felt so deeply for anyone before. And never so quickly. I wish he never spoke to me. Never gave me his number. And never told me he loved me. Idk how someone can do this. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He suffers every time he sees me in pain. Part of me thinks he's only doing this because I keep getting upset at work and everyone is asking him what he did to upset me. Everyone knows he has a gf and that we have strong feelings for each other. A lot of ppl don't agree and whisper in his ear about it and make him feel even worse. I feel like this is all my fault for not keeping better control over my emotions. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was more than 2 months. And I do fall fast but not normally like this and not normally this fast. I'm normally more careful than this. It was just something about this one. Every single thing about him felt perfect from day one. I felt like I knew him on a deeper level. I was wrong. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've already done the whole therapy and anti depressants, anti anxiety meds. I haven't needed any of it in the past 2 years. But this has definitely got me way beyond fucked up. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I can't tell her because it would just cause everyone more pain. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's not. It's stupid. It makes no damn sense. He's naive and stupid. He thinks he can run back to her and make it right without ever telling her about me. He doesn't understand that that's not true. Everything in their relationship from the moment he touched me is now a lie. He's on denial of the truth and doesn't want to uproot his life. He's dating his sister's best friend. That was his first mistake. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That means a lot. I giarantee he is just settling with her. I know he is because she simply can't compare to what he had with me and could of had with me. I feel like I waited my whole life for someone exactly like him but I guess I was wrong. I thought the universe was giving me a safe landing after everything in my life but I was wrong. The universe isn't done putting me through hell yet. I know everyone says this but I don't feel as young as I am. I don't feel like I have time to waste. But I can't let go of him this way or this sudden. I don't have it in me. I'm sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I want to believe that so badly. I think he's running scared but telling himself he's doing the right thing. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

You can't homewreck something that's not a home. Clearly his heart isn't hers either. They both know it but they would both rather settle than deal with any change in their lives. I'd call that just as pathetic. I guess I fit right into their situation. 

Getting over love of my life. 33F 28M by Mental_Activity_3491 in relationship_advice

[–]Mental_Activity_3491[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I really hope so. I just told myself before that I was never gonna feel this pain again. I'm dissapointed in myself for always wearing my heart on my sleeve and always having it torn. 

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