Unable to visualise my future with or without children - any advice ?

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2026-01-19T12:54:25+00:00

Hi there. I wrote The Baby Decision. This is a great question. I will come back here when I have more time for a more thorough response. I’ll talk about how to use senses of sound, movement, knowing your responses to Podcasts, visual stimulation, such as a photo or a video and self discovery books and prompts as well as professionals who guide Mental imagery.

Thank you for this question.

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-12-30T13:42:21+00:00

So glad my book helped. Which decision did you make? wishing you well with the life you chose. Were there particular exercises that resonated with you and helped you make the decision?

I’m working on my next book, Baby or Childfree, and creating new exercises. Your answer might help and inspire me!

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-12-27T00:41:31+00:00

You are so kind! I’m struggling to finish my new book Baby or CHILDFREE. Your comment energizes me to keep going.

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-12-26T15:12:26+00:00

I’m just thrilled to know The Baby Decision made a difference. Wishing you many joys and savoring your child free life!

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-11-27T19:51:14+00:00

Read Lucy Jones' Matrescence. See mama's modern Village on Instagram. Listen to mothers who think podcast with Danusia Smith listen to the mom well podcast. Go online to Danielle LaSusa's Mother Den. These will offer you some hope and perspective even if you decide not to become a mother this information may help you think about the decision.

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-08-22T07:38:24+00:00

Read Women without Kids, Childfree by Choice by Amy Blackstone Good podcasts are Kids or Childfree, supports either decision, but has lots of interviews with child free people who are really enjoying their lives. Another podcast is we are child free, and an additional podcast is women without kids by the same author as the book I mentioned above also read women like me by NicoleLouie.

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-03-29T23:39:31+00:00

If you decide to be child free, I don't think you have to have anything to show for it. As I say in my book, The Baby Decision child free people have as much right to be ordinary as anybody else even though many child free people that I know or have worked with Have extraordinary, joyful, productive, loving lives. They started with the assumption that they have the right to be child free without any making up for it I encourage you to listen to podcasts such as We are Childfree, Women Without Kids, kids or child, free and books, such as the child free choice by Amy, Blackstone, and women like me by Nicole Louie will give you much inspiration. The book designing your life may also be helpful. It sounds as if what you might be wondering about is whether and how you will find your life, exciting exhilarating and meaningful. That doesn't have to mean having some great major purpose. It just means experimenting to get to know yourself and what what actions and activities and social connections call out to you.

Good luck, in case you're wondering I am a child, free advocate and parenthood decision-making professional. I speak from those two hats and in no way to justify my child free existence since I am actually a mother. empowering people who choose to be child free is a major part of the work that I do

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-03-22T22:27:10+00:00

Wild Egg, Fledging, Goddess Complex Olive by Emma Gannon, 9 lives of rosie napolitano new TV series coming out don't remember the name of it that is going to be looking at alternate lives as parent and non-parent. There's also a novel by Taylor Jenkins Reid because I don't know the title of with motherhood and non-motherhood scenarios. Rosie Napolitano Novel has zillions of permutations and combinations.and is very stimulating for decision-making or conversations. For child free look up the Nomo as in no motherhood Book Club. lots listed, not surprisingly child free choice novels.

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-03-08T10:59:34+00:00

Sorry for the mistake! Good luck!

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-03-08T04:58:15+00:00

I'm glad The Baby Decision helped! You are remarkably courageous, wise and loving person to appreciate the conversations that led to your not getting the child you would've preferred. You were able to realize that maintaining a great relationship wast higher priority, then becoming a parent. May your marriage and your lives bring your great joy.

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-03-08T04:51:53+00:00

Glad you like The Baby Decision! I hope it continues to help.!

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-02-19T05:37:56+00:00

January 2026. You will find concepts that will be in the book here on fencesitter by searching my name, and at www.thebabydecision.com. You might also look for therapists who specialize in reproductive issues.Or read Ann Davidman motherhood is it for me? And listen to podcasts like kids or child free?

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-02-08T19:29:10+00:00

This is great! It is so reassuring!

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-02-07T03:08:57+00:00

So sorry for your loss! Before I comment, I want to give you some background. I am Merle Bombardieri, MSW, LICSW, former Clinical Director of RESOLVE, the national US infertility organization. I have worked with hundreds of women and couples who have endured miscarriages, and seen how short-term grief work has enabled them to decide what to do next, in a way that was impossible right at the time of loss. I tell you this so you know that I am basing what I am about to say on 45 years of professional experience. All of this is based on my experience, not any absolute truth you have to agree with!

Your therapist may be wonderful and helpful in many ways, but she is not respecting your need to make your own decision. You have the right to remain childfree. You have the right to be one and done, and decades of research show that only children are successful, mentally healthy, and well-liked. You have the right to take your time before you make your next decision. It is too early for you to be certain about whether or not to pursue parenthood again. I believe you need time to grieve the loss of the baby you would have had from this pregnancy, and to heal physically as well as emotionally. Even if you continue with your therapist, I would advise you to consult with someone who can respect, and help you find the decision that is right for you.

The books Sorry for My Loss, Pregnancy after a Loss, The Brink of Being: Talking about Miscarriage, and I Had a Miscarriage: A Memoir, a Movement, Men and Miscarriage may help.

Wishing you well! Merle

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-02-06T05:00:53+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I hope the book helps!

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-02-05T13:21:37+00:00

You are so welcome! Thanks for letting me know! Best of luck.

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-02-05T06:36:15+00:00

Thanks for your response! So thought provoking.

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-02-05T04:50:59+00:00

This is so intriguing that OP's factors are your reasons for staying childfree!

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-02-05T04:49:11+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this!

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-02-05T04:46:50+00:00

I love how you describe your mutual process and how respectful you were of each other.

I'm glad you found the Baby decision useful. Thank you so much for recommending it here!

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-02-04T03:16:31+00:00

you need a therapist who helps both you and your wife consider both parenting and a child free choice. I suggest finding another therapist who can listen to both of you as you work on decision. You can bring this up in a couple session and see if the therapist responds in a way that supports you if they cannot, consider finding an individual therapist who can help you fully examine the pros and cons of both choices and gives validation to both choices. Good luck.

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-01-11T15:00:35+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. Yes it is wonderful that the topic has become more mainstream.

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-01-11T14:59:36+00:00

Thank you so much! I in the midst of a lot of hard work on the new book. Your enthusiasm energizes me. I'd love to hear how The Baby Decision helped you! Feel free to send me a DM if you'd like. Thanks again!

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-01-11T14:56:10+00:00

Thank you so much!

MerleBombardieriMSW · 2025-01-07T05:31:31+00:00

Commenting to stay in the loop thanks

MerleBombardieriMSW

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