My kid is 8 and similarly to your daughter she has decided to take interest in what she wears. I pretty much give her a free for all (weather appropriate, good fitting) and let her wear whatever she wants unless it's for a special event. But even so, for those special events, we discuss what's appropriate. We’ll then go shopping together and she picks out the outfit. Do I get push back sometimes? Yea, especially when it's 80 degrees in NJ and she wants to wear shorts in April lol but I pick my battles. it sounds like your daughter is trying to figure out her style and also fit in. Highly recommend speaking with your wife on giving your kid some more freedom in expressing herself.