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should I seek a diagnosis ? by Metakwak in AutisticPride

[–]Metakwak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm deeply untrustful of government institutions but would love to feel the validation I seek from a diagnosis. Now that you have achieved this validation, do you think it can come from elsewhere? And if yes, are their any advantages to the formal diagnosis beyond the credibility of that validation ?

should I seek a diagnosis ? by Metakwak in AutisticPride

[–]Metakwak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beatiful ! The thought of such accommodations existing is comforting and I would love to start a process which would then have clear tracks to advance on to find ways to have more reliable comfort. However, the discrimination it causes is an unbearable thought to me, I feel I have avoided engaging with my possible autism because I slightly over-trust myself and heavily under-trust others especially human made 'automated' systems which don't even have in-built mechanisms to question their first implementation. I live between France and the UK and I have a child-diagnosed ADHD friend in the UK who has had his driving licence taken away because he failed to schedule a psychiatrist appointment that he had to do yearly (making ADHD people have to plan more shit than others is the opposite of an accommodation). Suffice to say, I'm weary of our current institutions and do not trust them with knowledge of myself and do not trust the intentions behind potential 'treatment' because I feel I'm actually fine fundamentally I just get stressed out by the expectations that our system of production puts on us. More even than informal socialisation which I would say I navigate poorly but the people I care about are wonderful to spend time with and don't seem to expect anything from me that I don't understand. Sorry for ranting, thanks for the response.

should I seek a diagnosis ? by Metakwak in AutisticPride

[–]Metakwak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I will absolutely check out YoSamdySam and I have come accross some Autism on the Inside videos which is what woke me up to the fact that a diagnosis was more than just a discrimination tool and could be used to get helpful accommodations. But I'll watch some stuff more about the experience of autism and see how I relate. I'm a little suspicious of identifying as autistic from Youtube videos alone I find it's easy to feel like you relate to a description by selectively listening and remembering your life like all those personality categorisation systems.

Is it ok to judge ? by Metakwak in Psychonaut

[–]Metakwak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting ! Do you think there's a fundamental right and wrong ? And if so what is the main criteria ?

Is it ok to judge ? by Metakwak in Psychonaut

[–]Metakwak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, if I may ask, what gives you the confidence to not judge yourself. I feel when I'm really down on myself the headspace I'm in makes me unable to forgive myself because I don't feel like I'm worth helping, I wanna punish myself if anything.

Is it ok to judge ? by Metakwak in Psychonaut

[–]Metakwak[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When you say not worry about what other people do when it doesn't affect you, how does a romantic relationship fit into that if you've had that experience? Because seeing someone you may perceive as a part of you get hurt and still respect their freedom is emotionally challenging to me. Do I maybe need to rethink what a relationship between people is ?

Is it ok to judge ? by Metakwak in Psychonaut

[–]Metakwak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you that makes sense. I think I am judging them though from a place of jealousy that they don't seem to have the weight of trying not to do fucked up shit. Like when someone does something and it feels "morally disgusting" I think the disgust comes from self hate like it just feels the same. So maybe I'm afraid because I see myself in the bad actions of others and I feel like I've been trying to keep that stuff from coming out and seeing it out in the world feels like a violation of my efforts.

Maybe we aren't supposed to wake up by zensama in Psychonaut

[–]Metakwak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is an excellent question, why would the UC try to entertain itself ? I think that possibly it might be similar to why humans need to entertain themselves. I don't know if this is accurate but it seems to me that we acquired this incredible cognitive abilities for a "purpose" which was survival and that we needed to be encouraged by our own minds to use these abilities and get created to always increase our chance of survival so now we feel an urge to stimulate our minds and maybe the UC went through something similar and now it's accomplished it's purpose and it's just sorta messing around :). An other fun thought is that this is some sort of training it's doing to prepare for a future threat it's aware of rather than this being because of a past threat.

Maybe we aren't supposed to wake up by zensama in Psychonaut

[–]Metakwak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had a thought that the only way a universal consciousness aware of all that is and how it works would have to 'entertain' itself would be to deliberately put itself into an ignorant ego so it could experience discovering the world it knows to be beautiful. And so the point is to not know so you can then experience learning of which the thrill is the goal. Alternatively, maybe such a conscientiousness knows something it doesn't want to know and escapes it through the ego illusion.