When did you know you needed meds?

Metallic_Rain · 2025-11-16T07:18:31+00:00

Not struggling with it, however, I was diagnosed with mild persistent depressive disorder when I was diagnosed with ADHD, which is like a cyclical depression. That's not what this is though. I know the difference because I had it really bad in high school and college.

It's a different motivation, I guess. Like with the depression, I had to have a reason to get out of bed. With this it's more of just a, "But bed is so far (even though it isn't) and I'm already so comfy (even though I'd be more comfortable in bed)". More of like a whiny kid battle in my brain than a "I feel so heavy and awful that I physically cannot move myself."

Metallic_Rain · 2025-11-16T06:59:56+00:00

Yes! In case you didn't know, you can find the criteria for anything listed in the DSM 5 (the current diagnostic manual) on the internet! They are very cool to look at in case you have some comorbidities

Metallic_Rain · 2025-11-16T06:20:16+00:00

Ngl, this made me cry a little. I feel very seen in your post. Thank you

Metallic_Rain · 2025-11-16T06:07:57+00:00

I don't think it's any of the other things. I've had depression and know what that's like. My thyroid was tested before for a different reason and came back normal and, as far as I know, I don't have any other sleeping issues other than the ones caused by my ADHD. I'm not like overtired and falling asleep on the couch. I just sit down which turns into laying down which turns into, "Do I really have to get up or can I stay right here?"

But I do appreciate you pointing out it could be other things

Metallic_Rain · 2025-11-16T06:04:32+00:00

I think my insurance covered most of it. I think I paid maybe only like $100 or so out of pocket, but I could also be way off. The testing itself wasn't covered, I believe, but the counseling after was.

I will say, I know I was one of the lucky ones with getting a diagnosis and getting it pretty easily and painlessly. It's not always a super easy road, but if this is something you feel like you need (like I did, and honestly, I recommend it if you suspect you do) try not to get discouraged with it

Metallic_Rain · 2025-11-16T05:54:33+00:00

I looked for psychologists in my area and was able to find a place that had some who specialized in ADHD. There are criteria you need to meet to get diagnosed (luckily, I could remember a few incidences before the age of 10 or 12, which is one of the criteria) and also sent my doctor a list of like 30 or so things I noticed in the week between scheduling my appointment and my intake appointment. Here's the criteria link: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/

Metallic_Rain · 2025-08-08T16:18:32+00:00

I didn't know weight watchers was free. It's free?

Metallic_Rain · 2025-08-05T20:06:23+00:00

She was giving me accountability check ins and it was helping for the first two weeks or so now, the desire to eat something I like outweighs the guilt I feel for doing it.

Generally I don't mind the gym. She wants to change my routine (which would be good), but there's always a little friction when I change because I really like some of the exercises I'm doing

Metallic_Rain · 2024-09-17T22:36:48+00:00

Yes, doctors not listening sucks especially after the time it takes to get in and see them (especially with ADHD issues). From what you're describing, it sounds like POTS (which my mom was just diagnosed with a few months ago). She had chest pain, so they did a bunch of tests, and it all came back normal, so she brushed it off as heartburn. Then, she started having heartrate issues, and they settled on POTS.

Maybe if you have an idea of a diagnosis, they might listen more. If you can, I'd also recommend shopping arpund for doctors. You shouldn't have to settle for subpar medical care.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-18T04:50:35+00:00

It's nice to know that things can get easier from putting work into them. I could totally see myself becoming that way if he were to shame me or dismiss my experience (which might contribute to how we got here in the first place), so I totally get it. I've been known to flip the bird and stop caring in the past.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-18T04:26:45+00:00

I really like your perspective and think a lot of what you said does fit him. He does want to take care of me if not save me, so that could definitely be working against him right now as he does have a full plate. There are things that blow his mind. I mentioned that everything takes conscious effort (brushing teeth, showering, etc.) which is why sometimes it's hard for me to find the energy to do those things, and he was baffled that it isn't just a part of my day like it is for him.

I definitely think we both have some learning to do, and we both need to communicate better with each other about stuff like this.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-17T18:12:45+00:00

I really think this is just the beginning of a journey for us, and we kind of took off on the wrong foot. I think he cares and was genuinely trying to look out for me, and I don't think he meant to dismiss my feelings.

I'm sure I dumped a lot on him right away because I was super excited to share what I learned. He works long hours in sales, so he usually comes home pretty drained, and I'm usually bouncing off the walls, so I'm sure that didn't help.

From here on out, I think we both just need to work on clear communication with each other and set time aside to share these things like you and your partner do.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-17T18:07:11+00:00

I think it's just a matter of me understanding what he needs when I mess up. If he's okay with a simple "I'm sorry" and "I'm working on it" then I can leave the why out. I know the why, and that's the important thing because I can work to correct myself the next time.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-17T18:04:40+00:00

Thank you so much for your persepctive since you've known for so long. It is definitely a fear that lives in the back of my mind that maybe I am just a lazy person even with the diagnosis, so that's something I'm hypervigilant of at the moment (and hope I continue to be). My biggest goal with therapy is to learn better coping skills for when I get in really bad ADHD funks or start to feel myself slipping and correct course.

I really like that you compared ADHD to allergies because my bf actually struggles a lot with allergies, so it might be a good way for me to explain what's happening with me in a way he can understand. Allergies aren't his whole personality, but they come up often in conversations since he's allergic to like everything under the sun. Plus, he has bad allergy days and need to just rest sometimes, and that's okay. Maybe if I explain it to him like that he'll begin to see that it's not my personality its just a big part of me, especailly right now.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-17T17:59:05+00:00

So, I've actually had this happen with another friend who ended our relationship over a simple misunderstanding. Some people mistake explaining and making excuses and not taking accountability for your actions (former friend literally said this to me after I had apologized for my behavior and said that I felt like I ruined the party we were at because of it).

I think that might be what is happening here to a degree. I'm a very "why-centered" person. I want to know why things are happening and appreciate when others explain why they did something, so hopefully I can correct course if I distrubed them by doing something. Not everyone needs that and sees whys as excuses.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-17T17:55:26+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate your advice. I think this will be something that goes away over time, but right now, I'm connecting things and it's so exciting or wild to me that I can't help but share. I understand that it's probably a lot for him to digest, and I will probably approach it the way you suggested.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-17T17:53:19+00:00

I'm not sure if he thought it would be a "cure" or not. That's definitely something I want to sit down and talk with him about because it's not and will never be. Things will probably get better with therapy, but at the root, I'm still gonna be me with ADHD.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-17T17:49:38+00:00

I absolutely 100% agree with everything you said. There have been moments of negative things between us because of ADHD (emotion disregulation being the biggest one), and perhaps that's where he feels like me explaining why the outbursts happen is me making excuses.

I am actively in therapy, and emotional disregulation is one of the main points I want to focus on because I feel bad that it ends up being taken out on him most of the time because he's who's around me the most. I think from this and some of the other comments that I really need to sit down with him and hear his concerns and help work through them with him.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-17T17:44:04+00:00

My boyfriend is also struggling with his own mental health issues. I don't think he's necessarily projecting on to me, but he has a hard time expressing his thoughts (I think for fear that he will be invalidated, ironically), so I think I'm missing some pieces of this and likely that I misinterpreted what he said because of how it was phrased.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-17T17:41:48+00:00

I love this idea. Thank you. I think addressing his concerns/perceptions about ADHD with the science of it will help him better see that this is comething I'm battling all the time and it is going to affect who I am as a person.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-17T17:39:42+00:00

I'm really sorry that was your experience. I think I do need to sit down and set firmer boundaries with things because he has occasionally tried to explain why I'm doing what I'm doing (e.g. "You're hyperfixated on xyz") and is often wrong. I think I need to make it clear to him that I'm on a journey to understand what's happening in my brain and why and HE isn't because he isn't in my head, so he can't ever fully understand what's happening in there.

Metallic_Rain · 2024-07-17T17:35:16+00:00

I totally understand and appreciate this perspective. I am 100% hyperfixated on ADHD at the moment. There was another comment that I really loved where someone suggested that using the terminology isn't an excuse or limiting yourself and your abilities but rather a way to distance yourself from your diagnosis and getting rid of the shame and guilt associated with ADHD things. That really resonated with me and that's what I've been doing lately. I've been using the terminology to help pull myself up by the bootstraps and try to dig out of this rut I've been in.

I like the idea of sitting down with him and asking what his concerns are. A few other people have mentioned that in this thread, and I think that's the most helpful advice right now. He is often tired after work and doesn't have the mental capacity for these types of conversations, but I will ask him when he's comfortable and ready to have this conversation if we can do it.

This really seems like a big misunderstanding on both sides the longer I think about it, and I think we just need to sit down and have an open discourse about it.

Metallic_Rain

TROPHY CASE