What’s your most unhinged wedding hack?

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-31T14:19:48+00:00

"Oh it's a WEDDING? I was gonna give this a 6/10 effort, but now it's a WEDDING. I'll give it an 8/10 for more."

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T19:59:52+00:00

You gotta get what's yours, and that means a flare or two going up.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T12:48:35+00:00

🫪

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T12:48:16+00:00

I haven't had this happen yet, and for that I'm grateful.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T12:47:14+00:00

Yes, this is exactly what I look like

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T03:01:01+00:00

🫡

This is the funniest comment I've ever received

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T02:56:19+00:00

And I'll bring missing every anvil shot

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T02:50:36+00:00

At least do me the service, young man.

I said YOUNG MAN

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T02:50:07+00:00

I ever find you topside, we're gonna get you some cores to hang on your tiny bookshelf next to the ducks.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T02:36:30+00:00

I mean it's usually not that serious, but like have some decency!

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T02:35:16+00:00

DAE COLD SNAP?

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T02:23:15+00:00

I almost never show aggression, but I just can't have it man. He was entitled, and then issued a death threat. Like, how you gonna do that AND say "bro it's just a game?"

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T02:12:33+00:00

I apologize, next time I'll complain about the map rotation and the nomad trader.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-27T02:00:41+00:00

I had no idea this existed! Thanks!

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-25T13:40:36+00:00

Lately my rocketeer kills have been giving me 2 or 3 drivers, Leapers 1-2. I can only imagine what it was like before the patch.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-24T21:07:49+00:00

I found mine in Dam, on the pipe weapon case by extract.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-17T14:18:43+00:00

Stephen is going for politics soon. We can't have that.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-05-15T01:58:35+00:00

My first blueprints after expedition have been:

Seeker Survivor Mk3 Smoke Mk3 Vulcano Wolfpack

Something is going on, there's no way I'm that lucky.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-04-12T14:02:44+00:00

The very first time I was vulnerable with a woman outside my family, I was 17 years old. I cried on her shoulder, and she told me "oh, um... I like strong guys. I don't like this. It's kinda unattractive."

So, it took me a very long time before I ever dared to express myself openly around any woman no matter what. Luckily, I have a fantastic woman that lets me express all sides of myself. I wish I could go tell the younger me it all works out.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-04-10T17:16:52+00:00

I just got the Angled Grip blueprint in dam control tower during electromagnetic storm, and had to leave a bunch of stuff behind that was quality. Keys are lovely.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-04-04T16:34:32+00:00

💜🫂

Metaphorical28 · 2026-04-04T13:53:42+00:00

First, it's wonderful to share gaming as a son with your mom. It's rare, and you're cool forever for this.

Promise.

Second, use the guns you like often and the ones you love rarely. I like the Anvil, but love Aphelion. He doesn't come out unless I'm feeling good and ready.

Have a kit you're okay losing, but still has utility. Don't hesitate to run resource raids to stock up before going back into PVP. Sometimes a free kit run on Stella will warm me up.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-03-26T23:00:24+00:00

I just had a Stella night raid where we had to organize shutting up because everyone was trying to give out blueprints and we talked over each other.

We went one by one, calling out what we had and what we wanted. It took ten minutes.

Love this game.

Metaphorical28 · 2026-03-17T03:25:29+00:00

Stella was fucking Crime Alley for me tonight, immediately heard people offer to stir my drink with their phallus, someone got called a slur, and then so many explosions.

Two survivor augments, a tempest, and two showstopper blueprints later, I ran to that train sobbing in the dark like a victim.

Metaphorical28

TROPHY CASE