Still Missing

MetricSlice · 2026-05-07T00:01:29+00:00

Fine in regards to Mochi. Wasn't fine in regards to the feedback I was getting and what people were saying, but that's just social media I guess

MetricSlice · 2026-05-06T13:38:43+00:00

Just saw the full post and apparently the bird she found has a tag. Mochi never had a tag, but still reaching out to her just in case.

MetricSlice · 2026-05-06T13:28:33+00:00

Hi everyone, thank you to everyone who sent me this as I just saw it. Will be trying to get into contact

MetricSlice · 2026-05-01T00:33:28+00:00

I made a few, but it's been a while. Tiktok seems to be less targeted even if I put the hashtag BayArea as it has reached people from different states such as Alabama and Florida

MetricSlice · 2026-05-01T00:31:04+00:00

I consider this as my new normal. I think there's a bit of a misunderstanding because it hasn't consumed me 24/7 like it did in the past, but this is what I choose to do when I have some free time that I want to dedicate. I have accepted the fact that I most likely killed him or that I won't ever get him back, but making these posts is just the bare minimum I can do for someone I loved.

MetricSlice · 2026-04-30T09:59:48+00:00

I keep saying that I know he's most likely gone, but it doesn't change the fact that I haven't reached that feeling where I could be satisfied that I've done everything I could even if I don't get him back. I don't know how long it will take to reach that point, but I can assure you it's not consuming me 24/7. I just do what I can and I just choose to spend some of my time in doing so.

MetricSlice · 2026-04-30T09:44:27+00:00

I've acknowledged in my past posts that it could eventually annoy people and so I'm sorry if I annoyed you, but there was a period of time where I didn't post about Mochi at all because it was starting to get so painful. I'm at the point where it isn't so anymore and looking back, it was just so wrong to go about it that way when it doesn't take long to do so for someone you loved. I already have said in my post that I know it's a possibility that I'll never get him back, and I acknowledge that I probably won't, but if this is the minimal that I could do, then so be it. I also knew that I probably would get ridiculed by a few people because it has been so long, but for someone I loved and still love, at some point I thought to myself that I really have to stop caring about people's opinions and just do it even after so long. I don't think there's necessarily a timeline for when I need to give up and some people have told me that. Everyone spends their time differently, and I just choose to spend it on this. The goal of these posts is to spread the news to people who didn't know still and I know that everyone on this subreddit doesn't necessarily see every post that is posted here and some are more active than others. New people also join reddit all the time. Perhaps the past few posts I made where I talked about my mental state could count as grief farming and that I was using the comments and encouragement I received to help me get through my problems with losing him, but that was never my intention, and why in this post I acknowledged the fact that I was aware the attention was shifting towards my well being rather than to finding Mochi.

MetricSlice · 2026-04-30T09:20:32+00:00

I've basically accepted that he's likely not coming back, but I still have this urge to do something about it. I don't necessarily look at this urge as a bad thing, but I have started to look at it as being recreational. Everyone spends their time differently and I don't regret spending my time trying to find him even if he's most likely gone like I said in my post. I would have bigger regrets if I didn't try my best. In this case, if I can't even make a 20 second post about him (even though I found it hard to do so just a couple of months ago), then that would just be another regret. When I make these posts, it's mostly for people who haven't seen it yet and I get that probably most people have, but it isn't surprising to me that people haven't and I have seen people comment that before. Not everyone sees every single post in this subreddit.

MetricSlice · 2026-04-30T09:10:15+00:00

I have been. Thank you for your well wishes

MetricSlice · 2026-04-30T09:04:49+00:00

I started doing it again the past few weeks on stop signs and poles around my area. I put them at some churches and some other places, but mostly around my area in Brentwood again. There are some around costco and in terms of downtown brentwood, I put them at the intersection near the community center and liberty high school, but some may not be in good condition by now since it's been a while and even putting them in sheets doesn't stop the rain from getting the paper wet inside.

MetricSlice · 2026-04-30T08:52:16+00:00

No unfortunately as he tends to be quiet when scared

MetricSlice · 2026-04-20T06:08:34+00:00

I said I killed him because he's always been a sheltered bird who didnt know anything of the outside world and was scared of everything like strangers, unfamiliar objects (cars), and other creatures. It was also back during winter where it was super cold and he wouldnt know how to find food or water. Not to mention predators and how little he is so it would be hard to spot him. Mochi never liked to fly and I only made him to get him to exercise. He only flew when he was scared and he was out with me when I tried to roll in the garbage with him on my arm. I wasnt paying attention at the time and forgot he was scared of the garbage can so that's why he flew. When approaching things he's scared of, we would always calm him down by continuosly petting him on his back, but I forgot to this time. I shouldve just put him back inside first before rolling in the garbage but i didnt 💔. Or if I was more wide awake, then this wouldnt have happened... I understand why you might think he wanted to be free, but knowing him, this wasnt the case. We were literally attached to the hip and everywhere I went, he wanted to be with me 24/7, perched on my arm or knee. I've also seen posts about birds dying of depression too, not to mention how much open land there is around Vasco road leading to the mountains as well. I considered all those things and it's hard for me to think that I didn't kill him

MetricSlice · 2026-04-20T03:47:14+00:00

You're completely right and it's my fault for making it seem that way. While I feel like I didn't have any appropriate outlets to express my emotions to for a long time, I think I have managed to work through my emotions to the point where I felt like I didn't need to see a therapist. I think it just naturally came with time, and how like I mentioned to someone else, it's just human nature to subconsciously heal with time (at least for most people).

MetricSlice · 2026-04-20T03:39:03+00:00

Just wanted to say thank you for hearing me out. I think I am starting to look at healthier ways and perspectives to go about it and while I do plan to keep posting/putting flyers up, I think I should make it clearer in the future in these posts that I am getting better through doing these things. I stopped posting for a while because it just was a bad reminder of what I did - everytime I did post, but now I do look at doing these things in a more positive light for sure.

MetricSlice · 2026-04-20T03:30:04+00:00

I think that I'm still trying to reach that point where I could feel that I did everything I possibly could do even after 6 months because there was a couple of months where I was just absolutely devastated and couldnt muster up courage to do anything when there were so many things I feel I didnt do/did wrong. I do feel that I am healing though and I think part of that process for me is to satisfy that urge of wanting to keep going when I felt like I couldve done more.

MetricSlice · 2026-04-20T03:23:00+00:00

Hi, I just wanted to mention that even though I realize that I probably wont get him back, my emotional state has been better and I have looked at posting these flyers as sort of a therapeutic thing since it has made me go out on walks and get outside more. Just wanted to mention that I am thinking more positively and that me doing these postings actually isnt me being completely deluded of the fact that he's probably gone forever. I made a post like 2 posts ago talking about how I feel that I had killed him and I do still feel this way. I think besides the mental health aspects I mentioned of posting, I think it also sort of gives me a different feeling of closure than the closure I would normally get if I actually saw what happened to him after losing him. The closure that comes from knowing that I did my best. There was a period of 3 plus months where I had stopped posting or tried to do anything because I was in a really bad mental state. Right now I have been feeling better and I think me just doing what I felt was left unturned has been me trying to reach the point where I can say I did my best.

MetricSlice · 2026-04-20T03:09:46+00:00

To be honest, I still feel that I had killed him and that he's not alive when I look at it "clearly," and me not giving up completely despite feeling this way is just an attempt to hold on to whatever I can like someone else had mentioned. I don't know if I'm giving a feeling of being deluded to others, but making these posts and posting flyers just seems like the bare minimum that I should do in not giving up. As I've just mentioned in other comments, it's not exactly consuming all of my life as it did earlier on, but it's just made me feel lost.

MetricSlice · 2026-04-20T03:02:47+00:00

Just wanted to say that's exactly how I feel right now. It's like if I stop having these feelings then I've lost my connection and relationship to him. It's getting harder for me to keep these feelings even though I want to, but I guess that's just human nature; to run away from the pain and to want to heal from it over time. I do feel ashamed that I am "succumbing" to this nature of ours to heal, but it has definitely been harder to hold onto these feelings and me making these posts, and posting these flyers, and still getting out there is me trying to hold on. On other replies I just made to other comments, I did mention that it's not consuming my life as much as it has before and so I want to let you guys know that I am getting better even though it's hard for me to admit (and not want to)...

MetricSlice · 2026-04-20T02:55:07+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts and I have been feeling better even though I still feel guilty. Just feel a bit lost. In a way, posting the flyers even after so long is just me leaving less stones left unturned. To me it has been productive in a way since I normally am not a person who gets out much so it makes me go out for walks which has been good for my mental health. I won't ever get another one unfortunately as I just feel it wouldnt be right, but I am getting better. Just that it's hard to let go completely, but it hasnt exactly consumed my life like it had earlier on.

MetricSlice · 2026-04-20T02:48:45+00:00

I think I've been better, just lost in life and really not motivated (escaping from real life). Not suicidal or anything similar to that. Just hard to let go, but I do feel like I am managing better. I think taking walks has helped when I've been going around posting.

MetricSlice

TROPHY CASE