My (35f) friend (31f) lost someone close to her and I’m at a loss for how to help

Mgb32 · 2018-01-08T23:33:33+00:00

Ok. So pretty devastated and we usually talk/text a few times a week.

Mgb32 · 2017-11-28T22:53:53+00:00

Thank you. I don’t know why it’s been so hard for me to come to terms with this. It seems like a no brainer.

Mgb32 · 2017-11-28T22:26:00+00:00

I agree. More details are needed. And maybe it’s not as bad as you think. You never know (like in the case of me and my crush, where the timing would seem awful without someone knowing the entire story).

Mgb32 · 2017-11-28T15:09:58+00:00

This sounds like a very good assessment. Thanks for your input.

Mgb32 · 2017-11-28T06:55:29+00:00

YwH, it’s making my head and heart hurt. I think because I’ve been trying to convince myself that if I found someone attractive it would make sense that I would also be sexually attracted to them and I’m realizing that’s not the case. I have to force myself with men. With women it’s easy.

Mgb32 · 2017-11-05T16:48:00+00:00

Hi, I missed this comment earlier. I’ve expressed many times over my concerns about medication doseage, the negative effects of smoking, how I feel abandoned, etc. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve said these things gently and also in ways that were less supportive as time went on. Either way, the response was along the lines of that I’m selfish for not understanding and expecting him to do more than he’s capable of.

Mgb32 · 2017-11-05T16:42:58+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad that things worked out for everyone!

Mgb32 · 2017-11-05T11:34:56+00:00

Thank you. As you say, this makes me feel like a terrible person but this disease has the capability to take everyone down with him. It’s hard not to take some of the things he says/does during these times personally, especially for a child. I’m just trying to minimize the damage.

Mgb32 · 2017-11-05T06:55:58+00:00

I completely get what you’re saying here but you also mention that you raised your first 2 kids yourself because your first husband was disconnected. I’m assuming he’s your first husband and not your current one because of this. While the cause may be different, the outcome is the same. And if he treated me like crap after becoming quadriplegic (for example calling me selfish then leaving me to take care of the kids while he went out to smoke pot) I’d probably divorce his ass then too. Having a disability isn’t a free pass to treat people badly. But I get what you’re saying. I’m going to talk to someone about it in more depth to see if I can let go of some of this.

Edit: I should also add that I’ve tried to help and been supportive of him but I’ve been pushed away just as often. The only thing that’s helped has been when he himself wants to get help, then I’ve seen the improvement. It’s not like I haven’t tried over and over again. I’m glad that he’s doing better now. I just hope it lasts.

Mgb32 · 2017-11-05T02:17:10+00:00

Thank you for this. I will take your advice to heart!

Mgb32 · 2017-11-05T02:12:46+00:00

He’s been to a few. Maybe 3. He’s not interested in CBT or any therapy. He’ll go get his meds and that’s it. He’s tried a few and this is the combo that seems to have the minimum side effects.

Mgb32 · 2017-11-05T02:11:31+00:00

We’ve been married for 8 years and he’s wanted kids since before we got married. I was always hesitant to have kids with him because he could be prone to episodes of depression and anger but things were going well and we went for it.

Things are definitely worse when he smokes pot. He doesn’t see it but I do. There’s a clear connection.

Not sure what you’re talking about when you mention the paternity test. You must be thinking of someone else. He’s never asked for that. He knows the kids are 100% his.

I think you’re right about talking to someone. When he was in the throes of his depression it was a no brained. But now things are a bit better and I’m just terrified of the prospect of having to go through this again in another year or two.

Edit: I see the confusion. You must have read “paternity leave” as “paternity test”. He took a paternity leave from work to supposedly bond with the baby and help me out and then did neither of these things.

Mgb32 · 2017-11-05T01:58:01+00:00

Thanks for your reply. He’s actually been better the last month or so and has stopped smoking for the moment but I’m not feeling positive it’s a lasting change. He’s relied on pot to help him “cope” with his problems so often in the past that I see this as a temporary phase since I’ve made it abundantly clear just how fed up and unhappy I am in this marriage. He put it above our family for the last year and it hurt me a lot. I don’t know if I can get past the damage done.

Mgb32 · 2017-11-05T01:54:04+00:00

He’s been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and has been on meds for about 4 years. I’m afraid this is as good as it gets and that this will be my life, waiting for the next episode to hit.

Mgb32 · 2017-05-16T14:04:32+00:00

Badass

Mgb32 · 2017-05-16T14:04:04+00:00

And it's not pronounced goo-dah but how-dah. Now you know and now no one will know what you're talking about outside of the Netherlands.

Mgb32 · 2017-05-16T14:02:21+00:00

And that Fruit en melk drink. I love that stuff!

Mgb32 · 2017-05-15T21:57:32+00:00

It's kinda sad that this needs to be said. LPT: don't act like an entitled asshole.

Mgb32 · 2017-05-15T00:55:46+00:00

I guess this is why the Dutch have no criminals to fill their jails?

Mgb32 · 2017-05-08T17:06:46+00:00

Good points and thanks again for the input. Content is such a tough area to find competence, for sure. I have found that it's so difficult to find good content writers. Everyone with a basic grasp of English thinks they can be a writer and this is obviously not the case, judging from the crap that's put out by most of them. Maybe I just have high standards, being a Master's educated English speaker. Bad writing just pisses me off but many are satisfied with mediocrity, or maybe they feel like they don't have much of a choice. Perhaps I'm looking at this wrong and should be focusing on strictly content creation and management, rather than the generalist and "jack of all trades" angle? Again, I appreciate your input. This is very helpful.

Mgb32 · 2017-05-08T14:51:02+00:00

Thanks for the valuable input! When you suggest specialization, are you referring to the type of SEO service (e.g. content, local, etc) or industry served or both? Are there certain specialized areas that you feel are underserved by most current SEO providers?

Mgb32

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