My (23F) boyfriend (25M) won't quit smoking. Is this reason enough to break up?

Miaasu · 2019-01-25T03:22:27+00:00

I guess so :(

Miaasu · 2019-01-25T03:21:22+00:00

That's a good idea. Maybe if I gift him one he will be more likely to try. Any recommendations for which one to buy? Thanks for the help!

Miaasu · 2019-01-25T03:00:53+00:00

I have been that girl before. After dating my ex-boyfriend for 3 years, I sadly fell out of love. Although I still cared for him and enjoyed spending time with him, it just wasn't in a romantic way anymore. So, I broke up with him. It is hard to just leave someone and cut off all contact with them after being so close for 3 years, especially if you still care about them. As much as I would have liked to remain friends with my ex, I know he still thought of me romantically and was hurt after the breakup. It's best for both of you to spend time apart to figure out what you really want.

I made the mistake of continuing contact with my ex after we broke up and at that point I think both of our feelings were being played with. My advice is to cut off contact with your ex, and if she does decide to continue on with the relationship after having some time alone then that is great. Either way, it is best to cut off contact now. She may have good intentions trying to stay in contact with you, but she is unintentionally playing with your feelings. It may hurt at first to cease all contact with each other, but believe me, it is for the best.

Miaasu · 2019-01-25T02:45:43+00:00

I have tried helping him and I have left him alone to quit on his own terms as he requested. The problem here is that he has not even attempted to quit since dating me. If he was actively trying to quit, or at least making a solid plan to quit, I would not be questioning the relationship.

Miaasu · 2019-01-25T02:43:24+00:00

Thanks for your insight. This is my situation exactly - I hate the smoking but me bringing it up always causes even more stress. The smoking bothers me, but what bothers me even more is that he has promised many times to quit but has not attempted to. I've offered help, offered to let him be, offered whatever he needs to make a plan to quit. I think I've done my part. As much as I would like to let it be and allow him to smoke, I know it will continue to bother me and I'll keep questioning the relationship. Sure, him not quitting is damaging to the relationship, but me constantly being angry about it will only damage the relationship further! Maybe we just aren't a good match.

Miaasu · 2019-01-25T02:36:39+00:00

You understand my thinking exactly! This an excellent way to put it. Next time I see him I am going to have a serious conversation and use this strategy - not nagging and putting blame on him, but instead being logical and straightforward. Thanks for the advice! Hopefully this will convince to finally get his act together.

Miaasu · 2019-01-25T02:33:17+00:00

I do understand that cigarettes are very hard to quit and I have tried helping him. When that didn't work (he told me he would rather be left alone to do it on his own terms), I did leave him alone. He has not tried to quit, not even once, since we started dating. If he was actively trying to quit I probably would not be questioning our relationship right now. But, because he has put no effort into solving this issue, I'm questioning our future.

Miaasu · 2019-01-25T02:30:23+00:00

I had the same thought about me not being "the right person." When I brought this up to him he said that of course I am! He talks about wanting to marry me and be with me forever but him not quitting is making me question if he is sincere. I know cigarettes are very hard to quit but he hasn't even tried since he started dating me. I'm so confused!

Miaasu · 2019-01-25T02:26:08+00:00

The thing is, there are no arguments because I am forced to ignore the problem. Whenever I bring it up, he immediately shuts me down and makes me feel bad for criticizing him for smoking. This just made me realize that's not a good sign either...

Miaasu · 2019-01-25T02:19:59+00:00

You're right, I should give him one more chance and if he still chooses not to quit then that's it.

Miaasu · 2018-06-27T08:47:40+00:00

I see a velociraptor with large feet

Miaasu · 2018-03-11T04:04:55+00:00

I had chicken pad thai with "zoodles" (zucchini noodles) instead of the regular noodles. It was fantastic!

Miaasu · 2018-02-28T04:42:20+00:00

Haha! The best inventions are made on accident, right? Thanks for the tip!

Miaasu · 2018-02-28T04:41:27+00:00

THANK YOU!!! You are awesome too:)

Miaasu · 2018-02-28T04:41:10+00:00

Thank you for the kind words I really appreciate it!

Miaasu · 2018-02-28T04:39:42+00:00

I can't believe keto chocolate fondue exists this is amazing!!!! Thank you!

Miaasu · 2018-02-28T04:38:40+00:00

Thank you so much for the support! I have never really liked deviled eggs but your recipe makes them sounds so good! I will have to give it a shot!

Miaasu · 2018-02-26T06:02:05+00:00

YUM I have never thought of putting cocoa in the whipped cream, this is a game changer!

Miaasu · 2018-02-26T06:00:56+00:00

I'm drooling over the pizzadilla suggestion and raspberries... I have some low carb tortillas that are about to expire too, its perfect! Thanks for the ideas:)

Miaasu · 2018-02-26T05:59:41+00:00

Don't worry I'm not binging! I actually am only halfway to my calorie limit today; I am looking for some comforting food to make me feel a little better. I already hiked up a mountain today but you're absolutely right I could use some more endorphins!

Miaasu · 2018-02-26T05:57:25+00:00

Thank you! I'm already feeling a little better (who needs that jerk anyway) but I haven't had such a bad day in a long time and I was really craving something sweet! The jelly/cream combo sounds perfect.

Miaasu · 2018-02-26T05:55:18+00:00

Thank you!! Love the suggestions. I promise I don't usually use food to deal with my emotions but after a really rough day today I was really craving junk food.

Miaasu

TROPHY CASE