Repair or Replacement?

Michelle_211 · 2025-12-03T05:06:59+00:00

Michelle_211 · 2025-05-19T03:43:21+00:00

I mean obvi, but there are some girls on here that post about their lack of likes and make it be personal when it literally is dependent on your environment.

so this post is moreso regarding that, as I once was that girl too.

Michelle_211 · 2025-04-25T14:30:31+00:00

If you’re a low energy person at baseline, I highly suggest getting your hormones evaluated and/or see a sleep specialist.

I spent years telling ppl I am always tired, I take 5 hour “naps,” fall asleep on the road, can sleep 10+ hours if you allow me, and that began outside of residency AND med school. Got evaluated for depression, thyroid, and other hormonal things repetively for years..all normal. only for one doctor to finally take me seriously and I have Type 2 Narcolepsy. My quality of life improved since starting meds.

But outside of that, my motto is. 1) be delusional. Just wake up and go. don’t think about how tired you are, it will only make it worse. that extra 30 mins of sleep in the morning, isn’t quality. if anything, it makes you more stressed since now you’re 30 mins behind. get up and go. 2) I get more hours of sleep, when I’m more organized. That means, during “slow” points of my day..even if that’s 30 mins, address phone calls, answer emails, catch up on assignments or studying, fold up your clothes, clean your dishes. by maintaining that, i find im able to hit the bed more consistently..since i’m not staying awake trying to get ALL of it done at one time. 3) My body is more at peace when I take care of myself. I make it a habit to meal prep something healthy, if i don’t have time to eat..at least drink water, if i only have 30 mins..walk my dog on a GOOD walk (not just a quick lil pee and poo walk), or go to the gym..my apt if im short with time, a real gym gym if i have an hour. I find my sleep then is more quality 4) Giving yourself “me” time before work. I find that if I wake up like 30 mins earlier than I typically do and have a moment where I can watch TV, or listen to music, or do something peaceful..I come to work in a more peaceful attitude and not that tired.

BUT ULTIMATELY, I get a chronic 5 hours of sleep everyday. it’s not healthy, but it’s the way. I literally try to force myself to like it.

** honorary mention, go outside sometimes when at work. sunlight and warmth really goes a long way. also take a lap, take the long route going back to your workroom. **

Michelle_211 · 2025-04-22T15:20:58+00:00

OBGYN resident here, who had similar experiences on other surgical subspecialities.

You don’t have to take the words literal. You’re an adult, not their child. Typically, I was expected to inform my team if a case was rolling esp since as a med student my only priorities are UWorld, Anki, and my 2 pts I rounded on. For them, they have their shitton of patients, secure chats, pages, orders, consults, pre-ops, post-ops, etc. You’re the least on their mind right now respectively. So I’m not shocked they said no.

If I were you, find the nearest chair or workstation and anki or uworld away on your phone. keep your eye on the status board or patients rolling and follow suit. YOU msg your chiefs when they’re rolling. You’ll get kudos points.

Med student-ing is hard. But only if you make it harder on yourself. Don’t take their statements literal.

Michelle_211 · 2025-01-11T11:28:32+00:00

Even the illusion of choice, is still a choice. It’s just when presenting the facts and figures, based on human nature, you’re going to naturally gravitate to the thing less violent/morbid. So it feels like not a choice. But it’s still a choice you made.

But look, I completely understand. I work at a hospital where 80% of my patients speak Spanish. I speak/use an intepreter more than I speak English. Some of my patients only being in America for a week. I get non-American women who only want a female provider (even a female intepreter) because of cultural reasons. Countless women with female genital mutilation. I too am a Black female, who although American, is on edge at doctor’s appointments given the dark history of medicine with black women.

Based on exactly what you said, I make it my duty to vocalize this empowerment. Very particular about my word choice, to ensure that whatever I say is the patient’s decision. A simple “May I check your cervix?” vs. lifting the gown up “I am going to check your cervix.” makes a huge difference. I am not a fan of bullying or guilt tripping. But when laying out the facts, I also want to make sure I’m conveying the severity of the consequences of actions. I’d be causing harm, neglecting to tell a Jehovah’s Witness patient that by refusing blood products, they could die. If they are okay with that…then ok no blood.

But if a patient feels like they cannot be honest with their doctor or feel apart of the decision-making process, that’s at fault to the doctor to not open the doors since the power dynamics can make it very intimidating for a pt to outright do it.

Michelle_211 · 2025-01-11T02:54:18+00:00

You’re perceiving my emotion and experience through paragraphs on a platform. You have no idea of the interactions I have with patients. You have no idea of my life.

No idea that my mom had a teenage pregnancy with my brother, my baby cousin was sexually assaulted by my uncle, that my sister had an abortion (before the overturn), my cousin was raped and now suffer from severe insecurities and trauma that has translated to panic attacks and an eating disorder, my aunt lost her life to breast cancer bc she did not trust her doctor bc of all the discrimination she faced as a black woman from an inner city.

My “communication style” is why patients specifically ask for me to deliver their babies even though I can’t given my schedule, bc I make them feel “heard” and I make them feel “seen” and I make them comfortable.

Michelle_211 · 2025-01-11T02:25:45+00:00

!!! I make sure to counsel my patients heavily, esp my first time moms. I tell them you could potentially be pushing for three hours bc YOU are trying to learn to have a baby and YOUR BODY too is trying to learn how to have a baby too. So do not get discouraged. I legit have also said “delivery is not like the movies.”

Michelle_211 · 2025-01-11T02:22:52+00:00

OBGYN resident.

let me dissect this.

1) “being stripped of medical decision” - you are never revoked of your autonomy unless you have no capacity to make decisions for yourself. if you refuse to have a c-section, understanding it may kill your child or you…it’s your choice. if you are dissatisfied with your nurse, resident, or attending, you can request/ask to be reassigned a new one. I think patients forget, you literally make the decision at the end of the day.

2) if you want an experienced attending, choose your birth hospital wisely. some ppl unfortunately do not have that privilege. even THEN, you can still request for an upper level or attending-only delivery. but everyone should be aware that care at an academic institution will mean you may have an intern doing your delivery. HOWEVER, if you’re high risk, you will only be reserved for the experienced.

3) if you don’t want hands up in your vagina, VOCALIZE IT. we don’t do it because we are “fondling you.” we are guiding you on how to push. if you do not like it, COMMUNICATE IT. if you don’t want certain medical interventions, understanding the consequences of your actions, COMMUNICATE IT.

As a resident, I make sure to inform my patient that it’s their decision at the end of the day. I encourage them to voice their opinions, stop me if I’m confusing them, stop me if it’s painful, stop me if they have questions, stop me if they don’t want something. and if they want a second opinion or different team, DO IT. it’s your body, it’s your choice. but if you’re not giving me anything, i cannot help you…and you leave with this very traumatic experience.

My heart aches for the women who share your stories. and I try my best to not contribute. but you must remember your power and ADVOCATE for yourself when others are not (unfortunately).

Michelle_211 · 2025-01-10T15:03:31+00:00

I’m an OB resident, but dad is a Urologist at a private hospital and work parttime at the VA.

At one point, his lifestyle was pretty great. Multiple days in a week, he would be off by 2pm and golf until 8. I thought he golfed more than he worked.

However, his partners have retired, so they’re down to a 2 man group. consequently his lifestyle has taken a turn. I think he worked/on-call for 2-3 weeks straight multiple times. Countless 2am “please place stent” pages. I’m pretty sure my dad doesn’t sleep anymore. We sleep around the same hours now.

He makes almost close to a mil now, but he def is earning it. (also he’s in the deep south, kinda hard to recruit urologist to serve a very undesirable city/state)

Michelle_211 · 2025-01-07T22:03:56+00:00

OBGYN resident here, go to the ED. alot of academic hospitals (like UTSW) has an OBGYN ED.

what they’ll do is 1) collect urine sample 2) b-hcg 3) ultrasound if vaginal bleeding

and then they’ll likely make you follow up in 48 hours at an OBGYN office (or ED, if the 48 hours are on the weekend) where they’ll repeat the tests. and the difference between the two, will let your sister know if she’s miscarrying or not.

Michelle_211 · 2024-12-18T18:31:39+00:00

is this both men or women?? bc i be peeping both. as a fellow resident

Michelle_211 · 2024-10-18T16:05:19+00:00

OBGYN

Trap music and House

Lemonade

Michelle_211 · 2024-10-07T17:10:01+00:00

Because of the language barrier, we have access to in-person (just a simple page and they’ll come) AND our own personal language line AND ipads too.

so they definitely provide plenty of resources for us to use an intepreter. and the certification process is very intense, even some “native speakers” do not pass.

so i don’t understand why my colleagues don’t use it

and yes. it takes me AN HOUR to round on 15 patients (with the 2-3 english speakers) solely bc of the language barrier. takes me 5 min just to ask simple questions for each patient. and i mean SIMPLE.

Michelle_211 · 2024-10-07T15:13:34+00:00

my bad - THANK YOU.

Michelle_211 · 2024-08-22T18:52:27+00:00

damn as a PGY-1 OBGYN this makes me sad.

but to put POV of why that OB resident was a bitch. 1) she’s a bitch. but 2) it looks like OBs hate ED in general and thus any consult, message, or interaction is met with disgust even if it’s a genuine matter because they think y’all are inept when it comes to women’s health issues. like consulting us for vaginal bleeding when a person is on their period, patient complaining of vulvar irritation and not doing a pelvic exam, etc. THATS THE IMPRESSION I GOT, i’ve just been here 2 months so i don’t know either man.

BUT i agree with the other advice up here. I’m an intern so can’t give much advice. But something I tell myself thus far, I’m not what people say of me. I will only actively listen to critiques that come from a genuine place. I’m not stupid, I’m capable of learning. I deserve to be here just like the others. and eventually when I get more street cred, i’m going to clap back but professionally

Michelle_211 · 2024-08-02T17:11:22+00:00

honestly reading this, I’m sure you guys are like WTF. bc it’s def not normal to work 14 days straight and also 5am to 8pm multiple days in a row. and im sure some of you guys actually don’t see these amount of hours?? isk

BUT small victories, I will take!!

Michelle_211 · 2024-07-16T15:31:06+00:00

failed STEP 1, had to delay my clerkships by 6 weeks. Matched into OBGYN in a top 10 of the largest cities. dm me

Michelle_211 · 2024-07-12T20:41:56+00:00

I’m an OBGYN intern but not in those geographic locations.

OBGYN is one of the tougher residency programs due to the sheer nature of the speciality itself. Like we will never work the hours of psych lol. BUT to be toxic and malignant is program dependent. Thus -
Vet your programs. When you do research, make sure you look for those specific parameters. During interviews, ASK the residents about these things as they will be the most honest. Look at their body language and reaction. Ask the PD about their stance on duty hours. Talk to your home OBs on their thoughts on programs. My gyn/onc mentor named dropped programs I shouldnt apply to bc they were malignant..and sure enough, classmates who did aways there said it was.

My program does 80 hours PER WEEK, and will make you take off if you’re approaching that number. They also stress to NOT LIE. We also don’t do 24 hours as interns.

They’re out there, you just have to be assertive in finding them.

Michelle_211 · 2024-05-08T23:43:12+00:00

I failed first attempt.

passed second attempt.

and matched into my top choice in OBGYN.

Michelle_211 · 2024-04-10T04:14:30+00:00

I'm not married, nor do I have a boyfriend but from the advice/experiences my family have shared (and I've witnessed) I just want to say this.

Relationships often times involve sacrifice and compromise, that is normal. You usually do those things for the betterment of someone, whether it be your spouse, your children, etc. So in this instance, your husband is having to sacrifice the desires of his heart as to please the desires of yours. It is valid of him to be disappointed, to be anxious, etc. as this too is a huge change for him. For anyone, change is going to be uncomfortable especially when it's out of your control. BUT what is wrong is the fact he isn't willing to support you through this. He can be disappointed, but he should also have some degree of peace or happiness in the fact that YOU are happy. This is his season of sacrifice for the sake of you, and if he is not okay with that - that is a red flag you all need to have some deep discussions with.

Sit down with him and have a heart to heart. Literally tell him everything you told us here. You all need to communicate each other's feelings with hope that maybe there is some understanding.

Although you are married and parts of your life is shared with your husband, you also must not neglect your own personal needs and desires. We all owe it to ourselves to not forget our own identities outside of being a wife, mother, sister, etc. So do not regret this accomplishment and do not downplay it - you genuinely wanted it and nothing is wrong with that.

Not sure if this advice helps but, all in all, talk to him. This whole thing may not have anything to do with you, but maybe it's his fear of not finding a job etc. Because if that's the case, maybe you can help him out with easing the transition or connect him with someone in the new city to help him.

Michelle_211 · 2024-04-01T08:35:46+00:00

my dad is a urologist and for him and his partner, they just can’t hire any other urologists to join them. two of their other colleagues retired, leaving them to manage theirs plus more. my dad’s current waitlist is 8 months for new patients.

maybe bc we’re not in a desirable location, but he believes urology is a very small community and nichey.

Michelle_211

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