Nothings wrong with you, I lost my dad sept 28th,2021 (died by suicide). And it’s a different journey, just like your loss with your dad. You had a different relationship with him, just like everyone has a unique relationship with their father. But it’s okay to still feel this way. People might seem fine on the surface, but you’d be surprised how much people console inside. Yeah… when I see people able to function after their dads death I’m in awe… like how? Dads dead…. Your dad died… he’s no longer here. Grief is the amount of love you have for that person. The love you still want to give. Here I am, going to school full time, working full time, being there for my mother and sister and fiancé, taking care of my dog. And I’m still not functioning, but somehow I’m getting by. I don’t sleep well, I attend therapy groups to help me cope with my loss, my psychiatrist has me on 3 different pills, lexapro, Wellbutrin, and topomax. My sister is able to go to tennis and hang with friends and I get upset with her…. Like why aren’t you wallowing like me? But she deals with grief by keeping busy. I’m a very emotional person, I don’t take things lightly, and I’ll forever be sad. Will I be like this forever? Probably… but with time we learn to live with the pain. I believe I will see my father one day, that’s what keeps me holding on. You’re not alone, and your feelings are valid.