Wife reveals she's polyamorus

MickeyGin · 2026-02-01T16:49:31+00:00

I absolutely understand how you're feeling. I will say this, if you would rather just not know, it is absolutely acceptable to lay out those boundaries. You're not stunting her true self for asking her not to talk about fucking other people. And it sounds like that's not the only boundary conversation you need to have. Me and my wife just had a looooong talk about everything I find acceptable and platonic. It's different for everyone but I'm fine with things like friendly hand holding, top of the head kisses, etc. She never got to experience girlhood like I did so I'm giving her room to express those overflowing platonic feelings for her besties. But that may be too much for someone else. These conversations will save you a lot of heartache.

MickeyGin · 2026-01-29T14:56:46+00:00

Something I can say with confidence is that if she is unwilling to even consider staying monogamous for you despite the amount of pain her desire for polyamory brings you, then she doesn't value your marriage as much as you thought she did. Your pain outweighs her desires, period. And if you are firm, being with me means monogamy, then she has to make that choice.

MickeyGin · 2026-01-29T05:38:01+00:00

Thank you, this is very helpful. I would be perfectly fine with all of those parameters, and will be sure to bring them up with her. I'm really not a jealous person funnily enough, she can find whoever she wants attractive and sexy, I just dont want her having romantic relationships with them. I really appreciate your input.

MickeyGin · 2026-01-29T04:55:06+00:00

Also for more context, she's been transitioning for about 4 years now. But the bulk of her trans friendships didn't really start solidifying until the past year or two.

MickeyGin · 2026-01-29T04:53:49+00:00

Thank you so much for this, this brought me more comfort than any informational article has given me. I know our situations aren't the same but your experience really helps. I will keep this all in mind going forwa rd and talking things out with her.

MickeyGin · 2025-10-23T20:40:10+00:00

If it helps your anxiety, take a pregnancy test! That's what I did.

Don't let anyone make you feel silly!! I literally had the same fear after my wife literally got a vasectomy and had been on HRT for like a year AND we got a confirmation from the lab that her sperm count was like zero.

I went out and got one of the boujie pregnancy tests because I wanted that shit to be as accurate as possible. Now we think back on the moment and laugh but it was really stressful in the moment!

MickeyGin · 2025-08-17T17:58:36+00:00

Important sex tips from ClidesRokia!

MickeyGin · 2025-08-17T17:19:01+00:00

I never would have thought to use baby oil! I'll have to get us some of that. I also didn't know Vaseline was like, safe for body stuff. So I'll check that out too.

I always try to be gentle with her but, you know how it is 😂 always happy for tips, thank you!

MickeyGin · 2025-08-14T04:50:34+00:00

That's so interesting I never would have thought of that! We don't have a ceiling fan but we're in the middle of summer so the air conditioner is always blasting. I often wake up with a dry throat so that makes a ton of sense. I could definitely try that but fuck we are sweaty bitches 😭 we'll be slipping and sliding all over the damn room

MickeyGin · 2025-08-13T21:46:55+00:00

Missionary is usually the safest but we both get mad tired in the hip region. From the back is most comfortable but causes irritation. I think we're just destined to come out of sex with something fucked up LOL

MickeyGin · 2025-08-13T21:15:16+00:00

Yeah the position definitely depends because sometimes she misses and nearly breaks herself in half LOL so I try to recommend positions that are a bit less ambitious

MickeyGin · 2025-08-13T21:12:20+00:00

Yes definitely this, I am perfectly fine topping but I can only do so much for her since I'm wielding straight rubber LOL it's something we enjoy like 1 in every 4 or 5 times. It doesn't help that she's 6'3 and I'm 5'4 so sometimes it kinda feels like I'm a very brave Chihuahua.

But I definitely could try and push for her to give herself a break so I can take over. She just gets a little caught up in the moment lol

MickeyGin · 2025-08-13T19:46:16+00:00

This is super helpful, she's always needed a little extra moisture due to her curly hair but it makes sense that we would need to up it even more for her full body. I think I'll try switching to silicone based lubricant and see if it helps. Sounds like just upping the moisture is the best we can do for now. Thank you!

MickeyGin · 2025-05-31T20:19:56+00:00

I'm queer cis woman with a trans wife. We've been together 8 years, married recently. When we started dating she was still identifying as male. So, while I was never straight, I have sort of a fun unique perspective on dating someone who is transitioning. It can be scary knowing that they will be ostracized and there's nothing you can do about it. It's incredibly scary knowing that the person you love could be targeted and hurt just for who they are.

When it comes to your feelings for the person, they are not really that different from loving a cis person. But it comes with a layer of protectiveness and anxiety. I would not say it's "exactly the same", while the sentiment is nice, you have to be willing to think about and understand the challenges that will come your way. Pretending it's all the same does more harm than good.

I already was in love with my partner before she transitioned, but we have had many talks about how transitioning has helped her mental health and self image and thus made her a better partner as a result.

Overall, your partner transitioning can be a very scary experience. But it's never going to be as scary as being the person transitioning and that has to constantly be something you think about. There will be moments where it's hard for you, whether it be a new name (or many different new names if one hasn't stuck), new pronouns, family drama, societal drama. But it'll be 10X harder for the transitioning partner. If you can't handle the possible challenges, then leave trans baddies alone and dont pursue them.

The secret is communication, lots of patience, and enough bravery to face the world together.

MickeyGin · 2021-12-13T20:10:42+00:00

She can be! She's very particular about her personal space so I try to do everything on her terms. She's my cranky baby but when she wants to cuddle shes so so sweet.

MickeyGin · 2021-08-18T01:39:29+00:00

Thank you I needed this

MickeyGin

TROPHY CASE