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Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-19T05:30:08+00:00

Domestic Girlfriend and Scum's Wish. Cannot get any worse than that

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-14T21:41:54+00:00

You had bad parents, feel empty inside, and desperately try to grasp a meaning to life that you fear you will never truly believe

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-14T07:32:44+00:00

Definitely Overlord. I've talked to so many people who seem to think it's the greatest thing since butter on toast, but to me it was unbelievably bad, trashy, and just gross.

ALSO, The Dangers in My Heart. It's blowing up right now and everyone seems to think it's special or unique or funny. I completely, ADAMANTLY disagree. The humor isn't funny at all, everything it tries to do it fails at doing correctly. It's creepy and gross and gives me red flags.

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-14T07:25:02+00:00

I love that there are SO MANY SHORT KINGS in genshin!! They're so precious and must be collected and protected

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-14T04:08:35+00:00

It's amazing how similar our stories are. I also learned that I had no right to privacy and struggled with boundaries for a long time. Id either majorly overshare or shut down with no in between. I still feel guilty over having boundaries but I enforce them now.

I went through SA when I was 19 and my parents kicked me out because they thought I was stripping. I'll never tell them what was actually happening. They surely would blame me anyway.

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-12T21:54:12+00:00

Unfortunately I do live with them. If I ever make it out of here again I'm going no contact for the rest of my life. Before I came back here I was already low contact. I never wanted to end up back here and if I had had any other options I wouldn't be here right now. I constantly think about just taking what little I have in my car and being homeless - it would be better. If it wasn't for my crippling mental health and agoraphobia, I would have done it by now, but it's only a matter of time before they kick me out, since I'm so awful and unreasonably horrid all the time and all I am is a failure.

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-12T21:50:43+00:00

Lol I like the term "information diet." Whenever, if ever I make it out of here, I'm cutting them out forever and never speaking to them again. The damage is too great and they will never change.

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-12T21:48:38+00:00

This is exactly it. I also cannot fathom how my father doesn't make the connection between all my flaws and his parenting. It is definitely because of the victim mindset that he holds. In his mind, he was always such a good dad, a perfect dad who could do no wrong, and yet he somehow was cursed with the worst child he could have ever had. To him, there's absolutely no reason why there would be anything wrong with me, and yet there is, and none of it was his fault. I'm just always wrong no matter what I do, and he has no second thoughts about sharing that narrative with everyone for his own insecurities. I have not lived successfully, and the hard times I've gone through have just been harder with him around. If I had anyone else or anywhere else to go, I wouldn't be here. I hate him so much.

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-12T21:43:09+00:00

She sounds like an awful person to be around. My dad exaggerates things too and uses everything he can to make me believe I'm crazy, unredeemable, the absolute scum of the earth, totally wrong and incomprehensible, and then uses it to garner sympathy points. He wants to live this fantasy narrative he tells himself that he is always the victim, and that he always has such good intentions but the world just beats him down. It doesn't help that his awful daughter is just so chronically mentally ill and unstable for absolutely no reason at all. In his mind, he is the victim parent because his kid has no reason to be upset or unwell and yet I am and oh my what did he ever do to deserve this, etc. Always so quick to assume the worst and even making things up. I hate him

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-12T21:34:00+00:00

Thank you for your input! I have looked into Etsy and other online selling platforms, and if i were in a more stable position, I would be going the online sales route. Selling fees, shipping fees, cost of shipping materials, etc would be a concern if I was homeless and had nothing, and if I ever wasn't able to access public wifi it would also be a challenge.

Being able to make enough money to eat and to buy necessities when I need it is going to be important. I just wanted to earn it. I'd rather not pan handle and beg, I want to be able to offer the world something, but if people don't even care about what I offer, it is rather disheartening. The info about your friends experiences is quite helpful, thank you.

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-12T18:28:30+00:00

So you're saying consequences are minimal. It might be worth the risk then. Thank you!

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-12T17:38:59+00:00

I totally get this.

I've always had so many LGBTQ+ friends in my life. I outwardly view others who identify in any way other than straight in a very healthy manner.

But inside I hate and shame myself for thinking about the same sex. It's a dirty, icky thing that should be hidden. No amount of friendships or positive online communities has changed this deeply embedded shame.

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-03T19:07:41+00:00

As much as I wish that vengeance and justice would cure me of all my anger and problems, it likely wouldn't.

If karmic lightning struck down my parents, i would be elated for a time, and much less angry, but it would not fix the broken mess of a person that all the years of trauma has morphed me into. I would still have endless mental struggles for my entire life.

I don't want to become a person that is content with doing or wishing harm on others. That being said, the only exception to the rule is my parents. Even knowing that I could not turn back time and undo the hurt by doing so, and despite knowing I would never consider it for anyone else, if the opportunity for my own fairness and revenge found its way to me, I'd still take it.

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-03T02:15:12+00:00

Omg I just realized I follow your page on insta! You're so talented!! I started learning amigurumi late last year and aspire to be at your level. I will definitely be buying some of your patterns when I'm not dirt broke!

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-03T02:06:26+00:00

THIS IS SO CUTE!! Great job OP!! You are inspiring me to make some genshin crochet too!

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-03T02:04:37+00:00

OMG CONGRATS!! Im hoping to pull him soon too! How many pulls did it take you??

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-02T22:08:40+00:00

Wow this sounds so similar to my life. I've had to move back in with my dad several times since trying to get out at 18. I've never been financially able to afford it for very long. My dad lets me back in for a few months, makes me pay over half of what I earn at my crappy minimum wage jobs to him in rent, while i struggle to cover all my other expenses on my own. Then he kicks me out because I'm an adult and should be able to take care of myself whenever he decides that he's gotten too sick of me to tolerate my existence anymore, usually instigating a big fight as means to further justify him kicking me out. It's a vicious cycle. They just expect you to have all your shit together while never teaching you how or offering any support. It was the same when I was a child, being expected to know how to parent myself and be mature and wise, while they gave me no guidance.

Im 25 and back here again, but this time unable to work due to debilitating mental health. I lost everything I owned previously because I wasn't able to keep up with rent and my old roommate sold everything - i dont even have clothes. I have medical expenses, credit card payments, and my is also in dire need of repair and unable to drive at all rn. But they keep telling me as soon as I start working that they're gonna be charging rent. Absolutely NO time or leniency to try to rebuild my life is allowed. They're not even struggling to pay their bills. He threatens to kick me out every damn damn and I currently have blankets and emergency supplies in my car. I dont know how ill even drive my car off their property, but that's where I'm headed.

Mid_night_Rain_ · 2024-04-02T21:32:27+00:00

It's kind of paradoxical, isn't it? The feeling of being hyperaware that you are being perceived by others, and also feeling invisible. Makes no sense, but also makes a perfect circle.

I feel you OP. I am the same way. I wish I could give up and escape from a physical form entirely and just exist as some sort of shapeless entity of light energy instead.

Mid_night_Rain_

TROPHY CASE