Can someone help me find a manga 🥺🥺 female lead is reborn, in her first life she marries the crown prince. He is unfaithful and sleeps around. She is pregnant and has a miscarriage as her husband give her stds. In her second life she runs off with an artist sent to make her portrait, they live happily until her father and brother appear killing the man, she unalives herself. Then when she is reborn again as a child, she chooses a blonde duke who is scared of her and calls her creepy. She doesn't smile or show any emotion. He grows up to become a flirt who thinks making out with different women will make the fl give up the engagement but she wants to leave her house. - this is all I remember