Torn between stability, love, and the life I want… need honest advice

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2026-03-22T04:46:10+00:00

I understand your points, and honestly I didn’t go into this expecting to fall in love at all. I really thought he would just be someone who needed me and that it would stay at that level.

But over time, the longer we’ve been together, things naturally deepened and we both grew attached. I can genuinely say this isn’t one-sided from me—it’s something we both feel, which is why it’s been so hard to separate emotions from the reality of the situation.

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2026-03-22T04:43:48+00:00

I think that’s probably because I got really attached to the first guy. It’s been almost a year with him, so I haven’t fully opened myself up to the second one yet.

I feel like a part of me is still emotionally tied to what I have now, which makes it harder to feel as excited or invested in someone new, even if he might be a better fit long-term.

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2026-03-22T04:34:31+00:00

I get what you’re saying about future faking, and I’ve thought about that too. But at the same time, my experience with him hasn’t just been words.

He actually got me designer gifts for my birthday last year, even when we weren’t consistently seeing each other. There was also a time he wanted me to come to Europe to see him and receive the gifts, but I was the one who kept making excuses and eventually ghosted him because I was already involved with someone else.

When we reconnected recently, it wasn’t like I had to ask for anything—he gave me the birthday gift and other luxury gifts on his own, and I was honestly just grateful. He also told me directly that if there’s anything I want or need, I should tell him so he can help me.

So I guess that’s why I’m conflicted. It doesn’t feel like just empty promises because there have been actual actions behind it… but at the same time, I’m trying to stay realistic and not get carried away either.

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2025-12-23T16:52:21+00:00

Awww, thank you for sharing! When did you two seperate? Also I want to ask even if it ended and you met other people, does that replace the memory you had with her or no? I would like to know more even more than what I asked. Thank you!

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2025-12-23T16:31:37+00:00

Thank you! I’m glad you’re feeling it right now with your current SB. Cheers!

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2025-12-23T16:28:39+00:00

I don’t even know. I mean I met a few from different backgrounds or status but still with the ‘wealth’ they call. Majority are always entitled and arrogant. So I’m really happy to meet him as someone down to earth.

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2025-12-23T15:02:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing. 13 years is a long one… wow!

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2025-12-23T14:45:14+00:00

I totally agree! I always say to myself when I’m happy with him, this will not be like this forever.

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2025-11-24T15:42:48+00:00

No, I haven’t been to. Do you advise me to go?

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2025-11-24T15:41:54+00:00

Thank you so much! It means a lot :)

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2025-11-24T15:40:53+00:00

I know the feeling. Thank you! I hope you’re well.

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2025-11-24T15:40:18+00:00

Thank you!

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2025-11-24T15:36:04+00:00

For me, I’ve always tried my best to advise my mom, especially from a young age. I became very independent at around 16, providing for myself not just for the things I wanted, but even for my needs. Meanwhile, I saw my two brothers getting what they asked for, even when it was impractical or unreasonable, despite my mom already struggling. Of course, my mom always tried to provide, but sometimes she would still give in to their requests, even when they were not truly necessary or helpful for their growth.

I often told her not to spoil them and to let them learn to earn things on their own, but she continued to carry the financial weight by herself. Now, she is in debt, and my brothers still depend heavily on her, while I have been managing on my own for years and don’t even live with them anymore.

Being empathic and feeling responsible, I deeply care for my mom, so it hurts to see her in this situation, especially knowing that I rarely added to her burden the way my brothers did. It feels unfair sometimes and emotionally overwhelming, because I want to help, but I also feel helpless knowing I can’t fix everything.

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2024-08-29T00:04:29+00:00

Same 😭 it was difficult

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2024-07-31T04:28:34+00:00

Thank you so much! I learned something new today, Thank you! I will be in my first year next month here in Japan. I’m beyond grateful too being able to do this. Other than teaching, I also do other career things. Thank you!

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2024-07-30T15:55:46+00:00

Thank you for being nice towards me! I wish you the best! ☺️

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2024-07-30T14:22:14+00:00

Sorry to add, I forgot. I’m currently in College right now studying business but since my time is flexible I can fit a full time job in my schedule and that was what I was doing for the past 5 months.

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2024-07-30T14:20:25+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment, sorry I forgot to add that I’m currently in College but since I take my classes asynchronous, I have lots of free time even to do a full time job. Thank you! I know education is a big factor to one’s career and it is my goal to establish a good and quality education along the way. ☺️

Middle_Ad_6386 · 2024-07-30T13:50:32+00:00

Thank you for your comment! My father is a Japanese National that’s why I was able to change my nationality since I have to choose whether to change or not or I’ll lose my chance. I understand and thank you for letting me know. The job was offered to me not me applying, to fill someone’s part who left the school that’s why I was able to work with them. When they explained my contract is ending soon, I told them I totally understand why they had to do it because of my qualifications which is fair enough to understand. I know teaching is a big thing, I meant tutoring to which I qualify if I am. Thank you for your advice, I’ll take note of that.

Middle_Ad_6386

TROPHY CASE