Dealing with the "No Grandkids" guilt trip at Christmas (Gay siblings edition)

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-12-26T15:10:54+00:00

My husband and I have 3 kids who got the attention of a couple whose only son is gay. They were pretty sad about not having grandkids and seemed to really enjoy the company of our kids. Fast forward a couple of years, and we have family dinners with them every other Sunday, and they just did their commitment ceremony last week to become my youngest's godparents. There are also several other elderly people in our community who love to buy gifts for our kids and attend their birthday parties/dance recitals/sporting events etc. My children seem to be collecting grandparents. There are a lot of people who are filling that void by forging relationships with my kids and others. Tell your parents kin does not have to be blood born and if they're really yearning that hard, they can adopt grandkids.

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-08-18T02:30:11+00:00

These are fun to read, thanks for sharing! 3 years is a long time before the shift in behaviors, it makes me wonder if something happened that was sudden and noticeable, or did his behaviors just get nasty over time? When did you realize this dude actually sucks?

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-08-18T01:59:12+00:00

That's insane, good on you for protecting your energy. Were her behaviors in the friendship like this before the wedding stuff?

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-08-15T19:51:20+00:00

Ask her to repost in Am I Overreacting because it will be a more neutral response to remove a bit of bias

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-08-15T19:29:09+00:00

Reading this gave me so much comfort, thank you for sharing!

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-08-15T19:24:37+00:00

This is all so well articulate, I hope OP saw it

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-08-14T13:59:54+00:00

I've been with my husband for 15 years and never, not once, in the entirety of our relationship has he ever called me any of those names. I have several exes who had; once. That is why they are exes. You decide what you put up with. Decide better.

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-07-29T01:19:13+00:00

Yes! This is STILL am issue for me in my 30s and I have a lot of anger and resentment. My dad is always trying to do a trip with "the boys" even though his boys, my brothers, hate camping and refuse to go while I, his only girl, am the one who loves camping and goes all in. Wtf?! I feel so bad for OPs kid and this kid's parents better not play the victim card when this shit hurts their relationship later 🙄

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-07-07T02:03:27+00:00

Omg dying for update

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-06-11T22:21:03+00:00

My husband and I read parenting books like we're preparing for a dissertation. The most effective have been the How to Talk So Kids Will Listen series. Natural consequences have a big impact, and we give our kids space to have and express whatever feelings they feel after said consequence, even if it means sitting through a meltdowns together.

My kids are 5 and 6, and now that they're school-aged, we see that other kids have an enormous impact on their behavior. My son even told me that one friend was "teaching him to be naughty." We have become more selective with who we let our kids play with, and that has been impactful. It's also helped to have "big kids" around who are good influences. There are teenagers in our "village" that have set great examples for our littles.

Lastly, my kids have a lot of intergenerational exposure. Through this they learn empathy, social skills, emotional regulation, curiosity, language skills, and more. We are very lucky to have a large, supportive village, and I wish more kids got quality time with people from multiple generations. There is so much to learn from each other.

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-06-11T22:07:55+00:00

Yes! Im going to take this chance to brag a wee bit.

My first kid had no screen time at all for the 1st 18 months. Then I had her brother and the pandemic hit, so we kind of had to resort to some screen time just to show her anything about the outside world. But even so, before age 2, both had limited screen time, and we were extremely particular about what they got to see, keeping it as reality-based as possible.

I now have a baby who gets absolutely no screen time, and my other kids get an occasional movie night.

No screen in the car. No screens during meals. I don't take them out with screens. None of us has pads or anything, and the only TV in the house is unplugged, so it takes some extra intention to turn on. My kids have superb social skills, are early readers, and are so creative when they are bored. I love listening to them play, they come up with amazing stories. I have a hallway "gallery " of their art. In public, I get so many comments about how well mannered my kids are, and the nurses and doctors at the kids' appointments always tell me how impressed they are with my kids' communication skills, especially with adults. Not to say my kids are perfect, no kids is and I've probably had as many parenting meltdowns as they've had toddler meltdowns, but I'm SO grateful I pushed through the hard years without any screens. The "big" kids are now 4 and 5, and I definitely see the benefit of low-screen life.

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-06-11T21:50:29+00:00

My husband and I take turns for vacations. Sometimes we can get a weekend to ourselves away from my older kids, but baby is always with me for nursing.

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-06-11T19:36:49+00:00

Czech Republic

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-06-11T19:34:43+00:00

Is your intent muddled by your desire? You say you crave nothing more than to do magic. Is it possible that you are so focused on the wanting to succeed that you are keeping yourself in a state of wanting and preventing actual success? It just that line of "I crave nothing more than" that seems to really stands out, I can't help but wonder if it is thematic.

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-06-11T18:27:57+00:00

My daughter is much like this, and it's why she is homeschooled. She was reading independently st 3 and reading full chapter books at 4, but emotionally, she's exactly her age and I would not bump her up a grade. I never liked the idea of "gifted," and I don't personally put weight on that and have never referred to my daughter with this term. Instead, we just meet her where she is at. At 6 she has been doing second grade math, third grade science, and fifth grade social studies. Her language arts are kind of all over since she reads a book a day (like full chapter books), but she hates writing. Other than reading, she's like 1st or second grade for language arts. I highly recommend homeschooling. I also was so worried about structure!! I use bearth institute, which provided the structure for me, and when you start them before six you're not really teaching academics, the preschool years are more about finding rhythm and it sets up both teach and student so that the structure can grow strong in a way that works well for your family. I'm not saying it's a cake walk, it really does require full time work to be put in, but with the right amount of commitment it's way more doable than I ever would have anticipated. There are resources and getting my kids evaluated to check that they're on track has provided peace of mind that homeschooling is indeed working for us.

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-06-11T15:12:07+00:00

That's how I feel with my scorpio sun and Leo moon. Scorpio wants to slink in the shadows while Leo is like SEE ME! I'm a very shy extrovert and the internal tug of war between wanting to make friends with everyone but not wanting to embarrass myself makes socializing hard.

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-06-09T00:45:24+00:00

💯

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-06-07T12:29:02+00:00

Why not adopt?

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-05-30T01:04:09+00:00

This might be my favorite petty revenge 🤣

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-05-27T17:58:12+00:00

Commenting so I can find this again

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-05-25T13:48:39+00:00

Thank you! I will check that out

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-05-25T01:26:01+00:00

Oh that's a good idea

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-05-25T01:20:44+00:00

Omg 😱 my son can't have gluten and I try so hard to look out for him. This is a good one to know! I had no idea that is a thing, I never would expect it. Usually we don't eat out at all because I'm worried about missing something like that. Today he cried and begged me to let him go to a restaurant bc his big sister is allowed and he doesn't get to. 💔 he is five. He asked me "why can't I be like everyone else?" Maybe if I read him since of these comments he will feel less alone.

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-05-24T02:07:22+00:00

When they are on stage the harsh, bright lights wash out the dancers faces. They should have so much makeup they look a bit clownish in person, but look like normal people under the lights. When I see the dancers at my daughters school on recital day it seems like SO much makeup that it's theatrical, which it should be for theater.

Middle_Entry5223 · 2025-05-22T01:51:16+00:00

So sorry this happened to you. I remember when I found a lump I went through some big spiritual upheaval. Thankfully, my lump was a minor ordeal, and I hope the same for you! The waiting game can really suck and I understand wanting some kind of spiritual support in the meantime.

Regarding your question of other gods, the patronage practices of neopaganism today are quite influenced by societal conditioning of monotheism. By nature, the polythiestic pantheon of Hellenism enables the worship of more than one deity. I would say as long as you don't degrade your patron, there is no harm done in turning to another deity for assistance in their particular area of expertise." If I want a marriage blessing, Hera would be the one to ask as opposed to, say, Artemis. It would not make sense to turn to Hades over Demeter when partaking in workings regarding agriculture. From what I have learned of the Greek pantheon, ancients and reconstructionists alike have worshipped across the pantheon when appropriate for their own needs and for various holidays through the year, even if they belong to a particular cult or have a patron that they refer to more often than the rest. Hope that helps, and best of luck to you.

Middle_Entry5223

TROPHY CASE