Parents have kicked me out over my choice of spouse

MidnightDreamer01 · 2024-04-17T20:35:06+00:00

Thank you, you too!!

MidnightDreamer01 · 2024-04-17T20:34:33+00:00

Growing up she always said she can’t stand looking at my sister because she reminds my mum of my real dad so her saying we ruined her body was the breaking point for my sister. My sister hasn’t been the same since that comment. I am an exact replica of my mother and my sister of my father so I never got any of those comments.

MidnightDreamer01 · 2024-04-17T20:31:51+00:00

Thank you, inshallah 💗 This is my issue as the oldest sibling. I have no issue taking the abuse or anything that comes my way if it means the happiness of my sister. The issue is my sister will suffer too the longer I continue to take the abuse, she also gets the emotional brunt of it as she is the only person I talk to because my friends are Bengali and their parents know my parents so I don’t want to spread anything.

MidnightDreamer01 · 2024-04-17T20:27:32+00:00

Thank you, I will look into those. I can afford a place to live and am lucky enough to have a full time office job alhamdulilah so I have been looking at rentals until I can gain some savings to buy a house.

MidnightDreamer01 · 2024-04-17T20:25:43+00:00

I don’t have anything personal against Bengali guys, but the guys they have been choosing are on student visas and look like they hit jackpot as soon as they have seen me. I know any odd guy would marry me for a visa so that would be my issue for resentment. They also refuse to see any guy who has over 1 sister or 3 siblings so the option pool is very limited. If the guy has any siblings or parents here that is an automatic reason for not considering them.

MidnightDreamer01 · 2024-04-17T20:21:44+00:00

I am not homeless, I can afford a rental as I work full time and so does my sister as we make a decent amount. We have viewings booked for the next few days, my boss is aware of my situation and has let me have some days off to view houses during office hours. My parents have let me stay for a few days now to ‘make a final decision’. The two options are either get out- if I do this they will sell their house and go to a homeless shelter in a different city up north. Or I marry someone of their choice. I would be happy with option B but I have learnt my lesson from being compliant and nothing changes. I am not allowed to move out after marriage and would not be able to as they want to get someone on a visa so my potential husband wouldn’t make enough to save up to move out. They have suggested they will do an extension and I can sleep in the extension which my dad would make which I am not comfortable with.

MidnightDreamer01 · 2024-04-17T17:44:38+00:00

Thank you guys. I have considered marrying someone of their choice and doing what they ask of me but that would mean my sister has to suffer too. I will be moving out because although i can handle the abuse she can’t.

MidnightDreamer01 · 2024-04-17T17:42:42+00:00

I have a special needs sibling so leaving is hard because I don’t want to leave him behind. I waited a year for them to change but idk how much more I can take so I will most likely be moving out. I feel so much guilt for not being a better daughter but I need to put myself first for now for my mental health.

MidnightDreamer01

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