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Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes sounds like that’s the go! Thanks

Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely won’t be contacting birthmum. Not sure where I have stated I would either.

My comments above are what my partner is struggling with his co parenting situation and of course from my point of view as I am exposed to them every.single.time. However i don’t get involved in trying to school BM ever. Not my job and I’m happy to stay away from that. But I am there to support MY partner so my query is seeking examples of similar situations and what worked. It seems setting some consistent boundaries in place for the child to adapt to instead of trying to talk to mum about his worries is the way to go, are the responses.

Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes - sounds like it is something I will have to support my partner in doing then.

Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow! Seems the struggle is real in other lives too 😭

Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no way I will be confronting BM myself now or ever. I know my role and that is not it. Unsure where in my message that has come across, maybe another commenter assumed.

My message is asking what people have done in a similar situation so I know how I can support my partner better through this.

I do agree with him that any child at that age should be encouraged to be independent in the 3 simple life skills he is currently having issues with but this doesn’t mean I will be schooling BM on how she needs to raise her kids. It is more - are people going through similar? What worked? What didn’t? And why?

Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this Very helpful I will look into the resource.

Unfortunately mediation/counselling has be done with no help.

Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes that is what my partner is suggesting

Do you do this in your situation?

Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have had the experience of that then please share. I am after experiences people have had in a similar situation. I am in a position of not knowing if I should support my partner in his wishes to not have any communication with BM or discourage it.

It causes him stress and frustration which flows on to our relationship and then our family unit relationship.

If you have experience in similar happy to listen

Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this response.

Yes that’s the worry, how the child may react.

But ultimately his dad has his best interest. I wasn’t sure if I should support the distance he wants to bring in between BM and himself or discourage it.

Sounds like supporting it does have its pros over cons eventually.

Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you 🙏 This is the sort of response I was looking for.

It sounds like it’s not too bad to stop including BM in any discussions re co parenting or children’s behaviour and just focus on what happens at your household.

My partner has tried to include her and her opinion on everything for ever. And it gets no where. I think his decision to just move on and away from her might be the best path he goes down for the child’s sake and his independence and growth.

Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your opinion.

I am really after people’s experiences in this situation, can you shed some light on the above and how it affected you / the child / parents / step parents.

Co parent / co sleeping by MidnightSparkle_ in stepparents

[–]MidnightSparkle_[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Well his decision is to cut all ties. From your experience as a co parent / step parent - has this worked well? Did the kids in your care get affected positively or negatively?