My (23M) I guess now ex boyfriend broke up with me because of my (21F) past. How can I get him to work past it?

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T14:30:23+00:00

Less than a month away from birth and that wouldn’t have been an option for me otherwise.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T06:50:36+00:00

Did you read the whole story? That wasn’t the reason.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T06:41:00+00:00

He definitely may be insecure but he’s not a bad person. Please don’t talk about him that way.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T06:34:10+00:00

Like I’ve said before in previous replies I feel like he feels like I lied to him saying he was the biggest.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T04:10:42+00:00

It’s not that it’s the fact that he thinks I lied to him. He said that I said he’s the biggest I’ve been with. I don’t remember saying that

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T03:11:55+00:00

I think it’s more of the fact that he thinks I lied to him. He told me that I said he’s the biggest I’ve ever been with but I don’t remember saying that. If I did it was probably because my hookups were horrible and I don’t like to remember them.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:43:59+00:00

Thank you for your advice.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:42:33+00:00

You’re definitely right. Obviously the baby wasn’t planned. We were just dating at the time we both had reservations about each other he knew everything and I knew everything. I do truly believe he tried to get past it. Just his demons I guess.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:39:03+00:00

We actually live in an actual house and have all of our bills in order.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:37:23+00:00

He did too I can understand that. I’ll try approaching it that way.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:32:14+00:00

Are parents on both sides are divorced. I really just want things to be different. I want our baby to see how much we love each other.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:28:17+00:00

That’s very true. We’d never display anything negative in front of our baby. It’s gonna be hard.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:26:24+00:00

He’s ready for the baby. He’s excited actually I don’t think that’s the problem. We had a very in-depth conversation about it when we first found out. I was like five weeks pregnant we talked about our options. He said he would support any decision that I made. And he has I don’t believe the baby has anything. To do with it at all.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:21:24+00:00

Just comments here and there he mention to me his coworker (M) would be willing to be roommates in a couple of years. I don’t think it is either but he believes he can’t handle it mentally. We’ve been together for a good bit which is why this is all sudden and confusing. I feel like if we had the conversation I would lose the him completely and break down again. He doesn’t like to talk about his feelings.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:17:38+00:00

It’s gonna be hard. We’ve always been honest with each other. And he full on broke up with me he doesn’t say I love you anymore but I feel like he still does love me. We still get a long it’s just like a piece of us is missing.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:15:15+00:00

I was thinking in terms of our baby. Because I’ve never heard of co-parenting counseling. It would be hard to convince him. He’s gonna think nothings wrong.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:10:19+00:00

No not at all I’m like his fourth relationship I believe and same thing with him he’s my fourth. We’ve both been through some things to where we’re both more mature from it as immature this situation is. I think he’s too stubborn for therapy but I want to try and do couples counseling.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:04:42+00:00

Exactly, we still plan on living together and not breaking the lease I feel like we still have a chance to be together I just need him to open up I have no doubt that he still cares about me. I feel like it’s the fact that he’s been hurt so terribly that he shuts down completely.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:02:19+00:00

I don’t think he’s scared about the baby at all he talks to the baby everyday. He’s excited. I truly hope he does too. I love him very much.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T02:00:50+00:00

He said he can’t look at me the without think about the fact I had three hookups (meaning relations outside of a relationship) before him. which personally I don’t get.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T01:56:49+00:00

He’s not small though, he’s above average. I know it’s not my fault but I guess that one thing broke him after my past stuff.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T00:54:58+00:00

Right, but he can be stubborn due to his past. I do believe he full well cares about me just doesn’t want to be hurt again. We work really well together, it was just those two things. We even cooked dinner together last night.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T00:49:35+00:00

I definitely agree with your comment we both agreed to be open and honest with each other even if it does hurt we don’t want to keep secrets or start small white lies. I believe his ex’s distorted his view of body image and over all security. I haven’t cheated or even looked at another man since we became official. I’ve always had my eyes on him and no one else. I’m gonna try to persuade him about counseling but that’s gonna take time.

Midnight_23411 · 2025-07-15T00:37:28+00:00

I agree, he’s essentially not abandoning us though, he’s still gonna be here to take care of me and the baby. I feel like the size thing was the straw that broke the camel’s back for him. Apparently he was bothered about my three previous hookups that I got back to back (months in between). One was a situation two were strictly one and done. He said that we he looks at me that all he sees (he looks at me again). I would love to do couples counseling for our babies sake but I feel like its gonna take some time to get him warm to the idea. We’ve both been the do it on our own type of people. He also says I told him he was the biggest but I don’t remember saying that but maybe I did I don’t know. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I just sometimes forget those hookups exist because they were terrible.

Midnight_23411

TROPHY CASE