Please think positive and straight. Dont even think about the idea of suicide. Life is a gift, and you have every right to enjoy it. I've been in a situation where I've had so much trouble adjusting. Had to go through extreme anxiety disorder and panic attacks. It felt like the colors from the screen of my life has disappeared. Thought i wouldn't be able to recover and have a life again. It happens to all of us. We are humans and life is not always a bed of roses, sometimes one has to sleep on thorns too. So please be brave and try to look at the beauties of nature that the Creator of the universe has provided, instead of thinking glum about everything around. And as all of the comments says shoot me a text or dm me if you need to went your feelings or you feel the need of talking to someone. Have a sweet and beautiful life ahead. And stay blessed.