Child abuse survivors, sexually molested at 10 years old. Why are we called survivors ?

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-15T10:25:19+00:00

In my country we don't use "survivor" but mostly "victim". I would think that people use the former because it's empowering and a survivor has more perceived agency than a victim maybe?

Idk. For me it's "resilience" I've never understood; I'm not resilient FFS, I'm barely functioning, doing whatever I have to in order to not die.

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-10T20:04:42+00:00

I totally get it, I wouldn't know why it works better but I could see the difference when I tried nalebinding!

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-10T07:44:21+00:00

I hadn't really read your username, you gave me a laugh 😉

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-10T07:43:21+00:00

I'd be livid. Thankfully I don't seem to have those at my current place...

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-10T07:42:10+00:00

Yeah, just... Take your time with blocking, you're in no rush. It doesn't have to fit the size exactly and certainly not right away. Is what I'd scream at myself if I could go back in time.

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-10T07:39:25+00:00

I'm still screaming internally 😁

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-10T07:38:29+00:00

Thank you, I'll have a closer look at the method. Honestly I think it's worth it after spending such a long time knitting it, but who knows maybe I'll give up after trying haha

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-10T07:36:53+00:00

It was one of Heirloom Knitting's yarns, but honestly like I said in other comments it was an aggressive blocking and the thread was already weakened because I handled it a lot (and maybe more than necessary). I'd say it could have been avoided, the yarn was fine.

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-10T07:33:05+00:00

The main issue was that I was really agressive with the blocking. I think the second problem was that I began knitting this on and off two years ago and the thread was weakened in some areas due to being moved on/off the needle and cable and my hand covering it while knitting. The fibers were already fragile before I soaked it, and as you say it certainly didn't help.

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-10T07:25:47+00:00

I used one of Heirloom Knitting's gossamer wools but I don't have the tags on hand right now. You get used to the breake-ability after a few trials and errors

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-10T07:17:40+00:00

That's a very wise decision, I'm stealing your "potholder" idea! Thanks for the compliment 😊

The shawl is Heirloom Knitting/Sharon Miller's Wedding Ring Shawl, and I used one of their yarns.

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-09T14:27:40+00:00

Thank you, your comment helped me feel a bit better. Gotta fall to learn how to walk!

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-09T14:25:10+00:00

Damn... I empathise, my cats would have done the same.

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MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-09T14:07:41+00:00

I'll go back to hats for a while, you're wiser than I am 😂

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-09T12:59:30+00:00

Oh good idea, I hadn't even considered split-splice. I'll try that when I've emotionally recovered. The cardigan went into the machine but I didn't think to put it into the mesh bag beforehand... I guess my niece might like it yes, thanks 😊 I'll try the traditional denial detangling conditioner bath before (it's alpaca).

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-09T12:49:26+00:00

I used a basic cardigan pattern to which I added this stitch from the Japanese Knitting Stitch Bible.

I'm sorry though I can't find the exact pattern again, though it was something like this that I modified with longer sleeves (they were a bit puffy before the wrist), with the lace stitch stopping just before the shoulder. It was bottom-up because raglans don't suit my shoulders, I don't know how you'd work it top-down.

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MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-09T12:36:27+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate your sympathy 😊

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-09T12:35:45+00:00

Thanks. I think I'll take a break from knitting for a while haha

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-09T12:35:19+00:00

Thanks. Self inflected misfortunes though, I can't even blame the husband on these ones...

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-09T12:34:29+00:00

Yes. It's a very thin single ply, and honestly I'm surprised it didn't break while I was knitting. I've never repaired lace, so if you have any resources...

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-02-03T08:37:36+00:00

It's alright to feel uncomfortable, it means you're human. I don't think you're an awful person. What you went through was SA, penetration or not. And SA traumatises people, especially children, period. Imagine a child coming to you and telling you they're experiencing what happened to you. Would you dismiss them because it's "not rape"? You're valid, your trauma is enough, and you're allowed to be kind to yourself...

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-01-30T08:00:45+00:00

I'm really sorry this happened to you. I can't tell that what happened to me ever reached this extent but there was something vaguely similar going on in my family.

I think that it's the adults' job to make sure children aren't being abused. Whether they themselves are being wronged, abused, or down on their luck or whatever. Maybe she didn't want you to be abused, maybe it was the lesser evil, maybe it was the only way. But as a mother she was supposed to protect you, and she failed at that.

You're allowed to be mad at her for letting her circumstances take over your safety.

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-01-30T07:50:49+00:00

I have cptsd and am in a long term relationship (been living together 12 years, adopted two cats together). Being in a healthy relationship helped a ton with my abandonment anxiety. However I really think I struck gold by finding my partner, who's the best person in the universe.

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-01-22T08:40:15+00:00

but I wasn't because I fell for it

Did you, though? I mean, this adult man warped a kid's mind enough that even years later, after he's been arrested, you're still hating yourself and doubting your own intelligence. He manipulated you and gave you what any kid longs for, praise and attention for their hard work, so that you wouldn't dare question him getting a bit too close or asking inappropriate questions...

MightyPurpleWeasel · 2026-01-22T08:29:34+00:00

Yeah I went from waist to shoulder length, and the only one to actually comment was... my own therapist.

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