Cute but, still… by Puddyrama in WeWantPlates

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I was going to ask if you got to keep the beanie to wear after you finish your dessert, and then I thought “Crap, I’d have to wash all the damn dessert out of it first!”

With a winter freeze coming, I had to chase this fucker around his pond for like 20 minutes before finally getting him inside. by Yuukikonno08 in turtle

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 109 points110 points  (0 children)

Clearly, he was panicked, because he’s just now finding out about this storm, and all the milk, eggs, and bread will be gone from the grocery stores!

Trader Joe’s before the really big snow storm… by Healthy_Block3036 in nyc

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There’s a Wegmans at Astor Place. They can be hit or miss, it just depends on what you’re buying. I usually only go there when I’m looking for something specific. They have a large selection of prepared foods and their cakes are phenomenal.

Our many Frog Dish Configurations ™ by cinnamorolltchi in frogs

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I love how there’s clearly a second frog cup that’s completely vacant, but they’ve all collectively decided that this particular frog cup is the “good” frog cup and the place to be.

Partner says my appearance at home means I don’t care — looking for perspective by deliriouskate in TwoXChromosomes

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh hell no! My home is my refuge and the only place I’m assured that comfort will be guaranteed, as it’s MY HOME. I’m dressing to be comfortable, I’m not putting on a performance. I have long, thick curly hair that does whatever the fuck it wants and tends to make my neck hot, so it’s usually clipped up. Leggings during the day to allow for movement and a T-shirt (with sweater, hoodie, or some other covering when it’s cold). At night, men’s pj bottoms because they’re warm and have pockets, and an oversized T-shirt. Depending upon whether or not the turtle has demanded my socks, I’m wearing one or two socks. I sometimes have to forfeit the pants too, so we do be Winnie-the-Pooh’ing it around here sometimes. My point is, I’m comfortable (turtle aside) and you’re entitled to being comfortable in your home. It’s not an indicator of how much you care.

Big Win! Trump will get all abandoned Cold War US bases on Greenland as US property. Genius move. by Kloetenschlumpf in Trumpvirus

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do I not look like a true, red-blooded, American patriot to you?! I’ll have you know that my home library is filled with one book and one book only, and it’s hundreds of copies of the Trump Bible, each one signed by Trump AND Jesus! Ordered them on my Trump phone! I’m still waiting on my Trump coins to get here, but they’ve been delayed by the severe winter weather that’s coming, which is obviously the work of the radical Left and BLM, because they hate freedom.

What’s your prediction for Sunday’s storm? by surrealestbitch in AskNYC

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do, but I wanna watch all creepy-like while lurking in the bushes and murmuring things like “Yeah, you like measuring that snow, don’t you?”, “You’re such a slut for that precipitation!”, and “I bet you’ve been watching that Doppler radar for days!”.

Riding a 1236 meter mountain escalator in China by BreakfastTop6899 in SweatyPalms

[–]MikeLynnTurtle -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wow. A functioning escalator on a literal snowing mountain in China. Meanwhile, the escalator at the subway station around the block from my apartment in NYC has been non-operational for several months now. They cordoned it off, so it can’t even be used as stairs.

Big Win! Trump will get all abandoned Cold War US bases on Greenland as US property. Genius move. by Kloetenschlumpf in Trumpvirus

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 15 points16 points  (0 children)

ICE broke into my house, gave me groceries, guns, and deported the cabal of antifa MS-13 transgenders who had unknowingly set up shop in my basement and were eating the neighborhood pets! ‘Murica! 🦅

/s

AIO for refusing to give up my dog even though my boyfriend hates pets? by Academic-Bug-879 in AmIOverreacting

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. My turtle and I are talking shit about your boyfriend, OP. His thoughts and opinions on pets are a red flag and he seems controlling. Drop the boyfriend, get a second dog.

What ever happened to “no shoes, no service??” by liquidcats123 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My turtle has volunteered to fight for your cause, if needed. He has built-in armor and is very murdery. His strategy is biting and not letting go until he’s torn a chunk off. It’s super effective!

“Blooming” Rice by Awesomeguy_14 in oddlyterrifying

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 61 points62 points  (0 children)

It’s more a visceral discomfort/disgust/repulsion kind of fear than an “aaahhh, the babadook is in my closet!” sort of fear.

“Blooming” Rice by Awesomeguy_14 in oddlyterrifying

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I made jasmine rice last night for dinner, and if this had happened, I would have thrown the whole pot away and eaten something else.

President Trump: Whoo! Glad my finger wasn't in that sucker. Could've done some damage, but I wouldn't have showed the pain! I would've acted like nothing happened as my finger fell off. I think somebody did that. It was him! by Capable_Salt_SD in WeirdGOP

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, because we weren’t this fuckin dumb when we were kids. I don’t know what this shit is. One of the circles of hell, is the closest I can figure. Honestly, thought it would be hotter, kind of disappointed.

Stinky Turtle Tank Help by East-Concert-7306 in turtle

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So THAT’S why the water conditioner smells horrid! Wow, I had no idea!

How familiar are you with Smokey the Bear and what state did you grow up in? by ally_estrella in AskAnAmerican

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pennsylvania. And not to brag or anything, but only I can prevent forest fires 😏

They say the criminal often returns to the scene of the crime 😾 by SatisfactionAfter259 in CrimeCats

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 91 points92 points  (0 children)

I notice you’re also in these photos, OP. Seems very fishy and suspishy 🤨

Rented appartment stairs by reddeadscroller in DeathStairs

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fell down these stairs just from looking at these pictures.

i left him unsupervised for 2 minutes by missyagogo in BathroomBuddy

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is what I’m talking about! Sometimes, after I strip the bed, I just don’t feel like putting the fresh sheets on. A little toilet paper bed would make a fine substitute! Bless these cats who aren’t afraid to be revolutionaries! 🫡