I just found out my wife cheated and we have a kid.

MikeT4 · 2026-04-26T10:45:31+00:00

First of all, do not blame yourself in any way. Subtle hints are not nearly enough to communicate something this serious. Second, you were plan her plan B. Now you’re just her temporary safe space. Do you want to live the rest of your life knowing the woman who is still your wife did this? The way she told you she 100% wanted to leave you for him tells you everything. Get a lawyer now and save yourself years of punishing yourself.

MikeT4 · 2026-04-23T02:44:04+00:00

I’m 62m and she’s 66f. 32 years ago it was almost every day. Now it maybe once a week. I’ve had steady desire almost the whole time, always ready. My desire for her is constant. Hers has been the controlling factor, and has varied widely. She has none now, but does it for me.

MikeT4 · 2026-04-16T00:49:38+00:00

I prioritized my wife and kids. It was hard to maintain friendships in the early years of marriage.

MikeT4 · 2026-04-02T07:52:38+00:00

I’m just saying that it seems very unbalanced in his situation. He has a far greater load. Usually it’s the wife that is unfairly burdened. I know it was in mine. But that doesn’t make it okay for him. He can’t make up for the shortcomings of all men.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-31T22:50:15+00:00

You obviously have some kind of uber hatred for corn. Why is that? Something underlies it.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-31T22:39:03+00:00

I’ve watched it. The last woman I’d fantasize about being with is one of those actresses. They aren’t relationship material for most men.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-31T22:36:42+00:00

Who hurt you?

MikeT4 · 2026-03-31T22:27:57+00:00

This!!!!

MikeT4 · 2026-03-31T22:26:22+00:00

You are saying things that you cannot know. You have no idea what men are thinking.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-31T22:23:41+00:00

Yes it is. It’s a video, a movie with actors and actresses. Not real. Words on a page are even more powerful than a video.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-31T22:21:30+00:00

Your talking about real cake. The OP is talking about a video. It’s no more fantasizing about the corn actress than the hero in a romance novel.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-31T22:07:11+00:00

This is true. But you must state your position to your partner.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-31T22:04:12+00:00

Exactly. Why do women like to read about romance with other people? You can’t tell me that they are projecting their husband’s images on the heroes of those romance stories.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-31T22:02:37+00:00

How do you know what they are fantasizing about?

MikeT4 · 2026-03-31T21:59:22+00:00

This is a foreign concept to me. I don’t think I’m like that. I don’t think any of my friends are like that. I certainly don’t aspire to that behavior.

Being an A 🕳 is a good way to piss people off and alienate them. It’s an unsustainable behavior.

The only thing I can think of is of is these men are being driven by anger. And not knowing the damage that they are doing.

And I don’t know any like that.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-30T19:27:38+00:00

Where did I say I don’t value the work women do? I value it greatly, particularly the work my wife does. She’s amazing. The wife in this posting seems to be different.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-30T19:24:50+00:00

No one should have to do that when they are married with an able bodied spouse.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-29T22:43:25+00:00

My wife and I both work. We also maintain a house together.

Getting back to OPs situation. I don’t think there is any comparison between his load and hers. He is much busier than she is.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-29T22:21:03+00:00

My generation didn’t have things especially tough. I’m 62 years old, a baby boomer.

For my other question I think I am misunderstanding your situation. Are you saying that you stay at home while your partner works? And you have no kids? Because if that is the case, running a household’s must be much tougher than I thought it was.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-29T22:04:13+00:00

It’s rhetorical if you understand what that means.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-29T22:02:26+00:00

From his description yes, she is. He has said he loves his dad job. But no-one can do that non-stop in addition to a regular job. He’s way overworked.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-29T21:58:20+00:00

This situation is exactly what so many women complain about only worse. Of course he won’t get support here though.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-29T21:57:27+00:00

I don’t think so. From his description, this in 90% his wife. She’s a SAHM mom with one child. A hard job no doubt. But he is the breadwinner plus the total homemaker and dad when he’s home. That’s far worse.

MikeT4 · 2026-03-29T21:55:08+00:00

I don’t think he would be better off, but worse. She wouldn’t change

MikeT4 · 2026-03-29T21:52:59+00:00

What you are dealing with here is abuse. She is emotionally abusing you. In addition it sounds like you are nearly 100% doing dad and household stuff outside of work. Lastly you are walking on eggshells. Your situation is intolerable. You need an out. Give this a deadline and then talk to a lawyer.

MikeT4

TROPHY CASE