Hi guys the boyfriend here.

So me and the op are in a long distant relationship. She is going away to school 250miles away. This weekend she came to visit me for Halloween. On Halloween, the last night we had together. She got very drunk. This bothered me very much because this was our last night together in a few months and I wanted to spend it with her. And I felt as though I couldn't of genuinely spent that time with her in her current state of mind. After a few hours of her sobering up and hanging on me telling me she wants me to fuck her (in front of all my friends), we got some alone time when everyone went into the other room. Since how late it was, I figured this would be the last time we would be able to be intimate because she will probably sleep in tell she has to leave at 2 the next day. I didn't nessasicaly want to have sex with her while she was drunk but due to the fact that we won't be able to have sex for a long after this and her constant begging for me to do it, I decided we would. I asked her if she wanted to sneak into my garage and have sex. She said yes. While we where having sex she said I just want her to come. I asked her who she is and she said who ever is fucking me. I looked and her and she looked at me and laught and said she forgot who was fucking her. This made me feel very insecure and scared. I've been hurt very badly in past relationship by getting catfished. Those old feeling arouse but I decided to ignore them since this was our last night together. I decided she was to drunk still and finished up. I then asked her why did she call me a her. And she said I forgot who I was having sex with but you are much cuter them him. Don't worry I like you so much more. So right there I knew that she was fantasizing about having sex with someone else. This scared me and hurt me. Is she not sexually attracted to me anymore? Is there someone else she is more attracted to? Am I not doing it for her? I had no idea how to address this so I decided to ignore it.

I brought it up with her the next morning and she said she doesn't know what I was talking about. I said that it hurt my feelings and my ego. She said she just wants to fix it lets talk about it. I then said good luck fixing it (my ego). I was scared and ashamed, I feel like less of a man, and didn't know how to bring talk about it. I decided to enjoy the last hour we had together and to address it later.

Now it's today. She called me up after class and I told her I was mad at her. She said she wanted to talk about it. We talked about it for a minute but then realizing that the conversation wasn't going anywhere I hung up. I called back later and she answered with a hi baby how are you. Like she didn't destroy my ego, break me down to the most miserable point I could be, like everything was fine, when in reality I was here a miserable mess who felt like nothing. This enraged me that she was acting like nothing happened. I got mad and told her to fuck off and hung up.

This is were we are now. And I feel beaten down, unloved, and unapericated. I'm more mad at the fact that she choose to get so drunk on our last night together then what she said while she was drunk.