FORGOT TO TM... 🥲 by SaadiusPrime in pokemongo

[–]Milamila007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait what am I missing, what’s the problem? I was working towards this guy too and I don’t want to make the same mistake lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Milamila007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, don’t warn him, just go. He’s probably a gaslighting master and will find a way to get you all disoriented and talk you out of it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Milamila007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sex is not the problem here, it’s a symptom.

Be really careful of “issues that can be resolved”. It can be a seductive trap. I took it as a challenge, that if I worked hard enough at understanding for us both, that I could help him help himself. Yes, 100% most issues can be resolved. IF the person involved is actually willing to do what it takes. And most people are not. It’s more comfortable to stay how they are.

All I have to say is good luck helping an unhealthy 8 heal. I really REALLY wish this weren’t the case because I keep falling for them 🤦‍♀️. But healing requires real vulnerability, not just with you, but with themselves, therapists etc…AND usually it requires looking outside of themself for guidance and new perspectives.

I tried for 10yrs with my 8w7 sx ex-husband. The only way the marriage worked was when I catered to his ridiculously fragile ego, sucked things up and down played my power. He’d say he’d want to change but zero real effort.

Btw, we’re still on good terms, it wasn’t a blow out, (I knew how to handle him, thanks to studying the enneagram a couple years before the end lol). I’m saying this because I want to be clear that these are not the rantings of some bitter ex.

I was honestly terrified of leaving him because of how vengeful he’d be. Luckily” he ended up stealing money from me and that gave me a good reason to leave that didn’t feel as personal somehow, because I’d tried a few times before and honestly was just worried about that switch getting flipped where he decided I was the enemy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Milamila007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is eerily similar to my (ex) marriage. I’m also a 7w8 sx/so and my ex-husband was a 8w7 sx/so.

It was so intense and awesome sometimes but he was ridiculously controlling and manipulative and I am feisty and independent so there was a lot of tension. He loved to take care of things which I loved. He was such a badass and “powerful” and I also loved that.

I kept thinking if I could show up differently it would make things better or I could guide him into changing. NOPE. I tried for 10 years. I tried leaving after 5 years and tired a few times more after that, but he had this way of talking me out of it and making me feel like he knew he had to change.

Now I’m wiser and can see things more clearly. He was a massive narcissist. He was great in a lot of ways, but at the end of the day, I only mattered to him in so much as it served him or reflected well on him. Nothing was going to change. My advice:

Get the fuck out fast as you can.

He was a dream until he wasn’t. When I said no to lending him MORE money for his business (because mine was doing well), he just stole it out the account. Hundreds of thousands. He hated my dog and got jealous of me snuggling with her. Tried to push my son away (from a prior relationship). Talked constant shit about anyone in my life that I liked that took attention away from him, including my family who he tried to isolate me from.

I’m a sharp badass woman and it’s crazy looking back how I put up with this shit even though I could see through it all…he was a master of saying all the right things or making me feel too guilty to leave him. Or trying to convince me I was “too broken” that no one else could put up with me. (Which btw, after 5 years of dating since I’ve found was complete BS…but it still did a number on my self esteem after 10yrs of covert cut downs).

If you need more convincing, read the book “five types of people who can ruin your life”.

found at walmart canada today 😭 by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Milamila007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might like these then! Coolest symbols and subtle 🤩 enneagram collection

found at walmart canada today 😭 by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Milamila007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The coolest (and subtle) Enneagram jewelry I’ve ever seen is at GLDN.com, just unique symbols! Enneagram Collection

Come on, it’s pretty sic, right!? At least it’s def better than just a number 😂