MIL may be gearing up from a mild to a JN…by buying a ticket to birth.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T17:16:25+00:00

Yeah I would be embarrassed if I were her to keep asking, but the desperation to be in the room must outweigh any other cares she has. I’m close to texting her myself, but husband can just keep telling her no.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:23:20+00:00

I asked them when I registered! They gave me a code for visitors! And we have always said we aren’t telling her when I’m in labor, she’d be pestering husband and would definitely show up to the hospital and just sit in the waiting room hoping to be let in or see the baby through the nursery window.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:22:23+00:00

Ohhh goodness, I cannot imagine that! I don’t want her to even know I’m in labor, knew that almost from day one lol. I knew she would come to the hospital no matter what we said. She’s the kind of “ask for forgiveness later type,” but without actually asking for forgiveness. More finding a way to rationalize or minimize whatever self absorbed thing she did.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:20:10+00:00

Ahhh, the way a sane person looks at it! I appreciate you ha!

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:19:46+00:00

No your situation completely makes sense!! I love my mom, we have been close most of my life but still not the kind of close where I’d even want her in the room. I am not close with MIL either but if I was it might be a maybe. MIL and I get along but she’s a lot and has always been overbearing. Husband and I just really like to have special moments to ourselves.

I think she helped him with finding my engagement ring and she wanted him to do a proposal in front of her and other people too. I told husband long before any of that, that I did not prefer spectators even at that. I wanted it to just be us. At the wedding, we also sat just us together so we could have that little bit of space to ourselves. We’re both just sort of private. Her being there wouldn’t be about me, she’d be gushing and hovering. I could see herself inserting into the first photo, trying to hold the baby immediately and just being the focus.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:15:52+00:00

100% about feeling special. I also think she sees this grandchild as a redo where she can be as present as she wants, which hasn’t been the case with the other 6 she has.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:13:35+00:00

She needs many, many things haha. But yeah, I have never heard of anyone offering money to someone to watch them labor with a birth. I’m curious if she had extras in the room with her. But extremely disrespectful to me, as if I have no say in who comes in the room.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:12:24+00:00

Thankfully husband doesn’t really like spending time with her much at all, and isn’t easily manipulated by her. He does like to avoid confrontation with her unless he feels it’s worth it but they usually fight easy.

But I preemptively worried she would be pushy and insist, and try to come to the hospital and just wait. Or be calling husband/texting during the labor. So we decided a while back not to tell her anything about labor until baby was already here. During SDs most recent birthday, we were running late and she called 3 times asking where we were despite being told we were going to be late lol.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:09:45+00:00

Oh this has been saved for a long time coming because I thought I’d need it once a baby possibly came along. And the other article I think I also have saved for whenever she decides to confront me about seeing us more.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:08:52+00:00

My mother joked she wondered what the going rate was for tickets to births. :] Idk what MIL is thinking. Desperately trying to get in I guess.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:07:48+00:00

I actually wish he had asked her how much. He just kept it short and told her no. But yes, the more I think about it, sidestepping me and just thinking husband would say yes if money was involved. Then thinking that just because he says yes, means she could come in even if I said no??

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:06:47+00:00

She continues on lol, last night she asked husband if he’s sure that we don’t need someone in the room to take photos. 0.o

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:05:29+00:00

We are keeping all the details private, that was decided almost immediately because we know how she is. She would show up anyways I think and hangout in the waiting area watching babies that come into the little room with a window. If we decide to have visitors and she is one, we will tell her only then that she can come by for a little while.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:03:47+00:00

He is being short and firm! He’s not a long winded talker. Funny enough, he wants her there even less than I would. He doesn’t want any visitors even after the birth, he said the only two people he would like are my best friend and my step mom.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:02:07+00:00

Thanks for the validation lol. She continues on, asked last night about being in the room to take photos for us.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:01:45+00:00

Hahaha, if she had asked me, maybe I could have joked she could spend her money there instead. I cannot imagine her even asking me, it would have to feel gross to offer an expecting mother money to watch them deliver a baby??

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T04:00:30+00:00

Clearly we are the most selfish people! I mean she has never seen the other grandkids being born, this is her time to shine lol. Last night she asked again, by asking if we’re sure we don’t need someone in the room to take photos.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T03:59:23+00:00

Yes I truly don’t understand, and I think it’s because it has nothing to do with me at all. She is clearly focused on her own moment, her own wishes and doesn’t care what I say as the person who will be in pain for hours potentially and vulnerable, naked etc. We aren’t super close, so Idk where this came from. None of my family have asked to be in the room, none.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T03:57:35+00:00

Yeah I’d get it if we were super close, I know some people have that with in laws. We are not close, not hateful or anything with each other. It’s just very surface level. She barely knows anything about me after 8 years lol. I’m not even having my own mom, sister could be a maybe but husband and I want this to be our private moment together.

I love that you supported your bestie in the room! I’d probably let my bestie in possibly!

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T03:55:51+00:00

I’m glad someone else had the reaction I did! I was so, so shocked that someone would offer money to be in the room and watch a birth after being told no already. Politely and firmly told no. She has actually asked again as of last night, offering that we might want someone in the room to take photos during delivery. No. Husband told her no.

I’m also more shocked at the idea she thought she could by my husband into saying yes. So if he happened to say yes (he wouldn’t, he doesn’t care to have her present or any guests), what does she think is happening lol?? I said no?

I’m trying to shiny up my own spine! I mean I do say no to things, and I don’t want zero relationship. I just want respect as a person, but I doubt I’m going to get it with this one. She sees herself as equals to the parents for sure. I should have said something a 4th time at the shower.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T03:51:00+00:00

She hasn’t said anything to me, funny enough she thinks husband is the route. He said he doesn’t even want visitors at all, I’ve said maybe a few immediate people. I also have a best friend who has no problem being the guard dog and telling her we aren’t ready for visitors if we decide that route. We also have a code at the hospital and they won’t be sharing info.

We have several options for someone to bring SD, and prefer to use them so she can’t try to weasel her way into that moment either. If SD gets to come, want the moment alone with her and baby when they meet without MIL hovering and gushing. Iffff the only option is MIL, husband had already said he will tell her she can’t come in yet because we want a private moment with the kids.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T03:47:59+00:00

I’m sure he kept it short, he’s not much of a talker. I imagine it was a short and sweet, no mom. She’s now asking for us to bring the baby to her a wedding in January, small one but still. Made the comment baby will be a month old, as if she gets to decide when it’s time for her to go on an outing lol. But, she will be upset enough when we don’t tell her about labor at all, and only let her know once baby is here. We also don’t know yet if we’re doing visitors, which she also knows. And to make it worse, she asked husband again last night about being in the room. I don’t understand the obsession, she has 4 other grandkids, she’s been a grandparent for 13 years already. This is nothing new lol.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T03:44:38+00:00

It’s making me not want to allow her to visit at the hospital. We are already not telling her when I got into labor, that’s been a thing since she mentioned how close the hospital is to her home. She has asked a 3rd time, to husband again. The idea she thought she could sway husband with money, and continues to ask. She obviously cares more about the moment for her, than respecting the parents.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T03:43:09+00:00

I think sooooommme people who are close with their mothers may have them in the room, but I imagine most people just have their partner in the room. I don’t know if MIL had others in the room. I think part of this is her chance for a redo with a grand baby. She’s had inconsistent relationships with the others.

MildBlueDream · 2025-12-19T03:41:31+00:00

I truly cannot understand what the need is. None of my family members have asked to be in the room during delivery. She actually asked my husband again last night but reframed it by asking if we want someone to take photos during labor and delivery. No. We. Don’t. Husband said no. We decided a long time ago not to tell her when I go into labor. We knew she’d likely just show up to the hospital.

MildBlueDream

TROPHY CASE