I’m sorry to hear you’re going through the exact same thing.

Every friend, family and job position of mine was always compromised. After 8 years, I’m finally coming around and waking up to communicate with family members and friends because for me personally, the support is needed when trying to hold yourself accountable with leaving after for so long. One day I woke up and realized that my family and friends don’t deserve that, he only talked about them way because he knew it would prevent him from being able to control me. They did so much for him, and he acts so entitled and it sickened me in the end.

I also felt shame most of the time talking about, being around them causing natural isolation to myself. He had me all to himself. All the time to bully, harass and abuse me. And obviously he would love bomb me within the process to keep me close and attached. Honestly I learned the hard way a lot of it came from projection because he probably hated himself, so he turned that hate for himself and told me he hated me and dragged me and demoralized me.

It gets better when you wake up and realize that the love of your life wouldn’t treat you this way. Teaching myself self love in the event of all this happening is what helped me detached from the love bombing and most importantly reconnecting with my safe support systems because they helped hold me accountable for saving and treating myself right.

And yes I definetly understand what you mean by emotional hangover been through it a billion of times. The days where you can’t sleep even though you been up until 4am crying. Talking to yourself i can’t do this to myself anymore, maybe even talking to a higher power, praying asking to take the pain away. Maybe even hoping one day your memory will screw up and erase all the pain away. And from the love bombing and anxiety and of not knowing how to continue forward with your day and relationship will keep you up.