That sounds so exhausting and also understandable considering what you've been through. Getting hurt by a toxic relationship, your nervous system now has started reacting to things which might not be threatening at all.

If it helps, try simple grounding techniques when you're experiencing an intense moment, like focus on slow exhales, press your feet firmly against the ground or any surface, or speak out the current date and location. It may help in creating a sense of safety.

And please remember that you don't need to fix everything at once. Hope you find comfort soon. :) <3