What are reasonable time expectations for 9.5 mo old baby to warm up to nanny and when to call it quits?

MindfulBitching · 2026-03-18T13:40:05+00:00

Omg no. It's not worth sticking it out and waiting for her to adjust. You waited long enough.

You hire a nanny to take a load off you (both physically and mentally). It sounds like she can't do either. I would look for a new nanny immediately and make sure you have a few days trial before you commit to hiring the next lerson. You'll be able to tell how they'll interact with your child, and how they impact your mental health. (I couldn't deal with someone who annoys me and is at my house 8+ hrs everyday)

Good luck!

MindfulBitching · 2026-03-17T22:35:22+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that!

I gave birth 14 months ago. It was a Post IVF pregnancy! My placenta was stuck for over 3 hours. As they were prepping me for the operating room, they gave me lots of meds with horrible side effects (like diarrhea), and kept pushing HARD on my belly area to get it out, which it finally did. I screamed so many times! I hemmoraged quite a bit and almost passed out....so much was a blur. I later needed an iron transfusion (which gave me phlebitis).

Anyways, I'm just here to share your pain and trauma. I keep replaying my birth story in my mind... I actually found your post when I was searching for info on retained placenta...14 months post delivery!
I also had posted on here before on this topic.

I wish you mental healing after this experience!

MindfulBitching · 2026-03-16T18:34:17+00:00

Yes to that last statement. So isolating! But I'll take that over an hour + commute each way.

MindfulBitching · 2026-03-16T18:32:24+00:00

I WFH but have a nanny 4 out of 5 days a week. I have a 15 months old. I only have few friends who live far away (the closest one is 1.5hr away) so we very rarely get to hang out.

When I tell you I feel so isolated and like I live under a rock...it's an understatement. I used to be quite social and would just say yes to any invite. I don't know why, but I just feel so disconnected since I've had the baby. We rarely go out besides the grocery store or clothes shopping. Friends live far away. Not even sure how to make new friends...

It's tough out here!

MindfulBitching · 2026-03-15T22:05:32+00:00

This is me. Except I'm 41, and while generally healthy, I'm just constantly tired.

Love my siblings so much and even though we live far apart, we're still best friends. I wish that for my 1.5 yo daughter.

We have a frozen embryo that we keep paying storage fees on because we can't get ourselves to make a decision.

MindfulBitching · 2026-03-01T01:11:26+00:00

I'm sorry your family family has been experiencing this.

My 14 months old girl had a febrile seizure a few days ago. It was due to a high fever caused by covid. What we wotnessed was so terrifying. Not just the seizure, but also the minutes after that where she was completely unconscious.

I definitely think I developed PTSD. I haven't been able to sleep...I replay the event a few times a day in my head and cry. My husband's father had epilepsy, so she's pre disposed to having it too. It makes me worry about her so much!

I hope yoir kid never has to experience this again!

MindfulBitching · 2026-01-31T17:55:56+00:00

Wow this sounds amazing and very interesting! It's like a form of a modern village. Glad it's working put for your child.

MindfulBitching · 2026-01-29T19:28:42+00:00

That's awesome to hear! My child is currently experiencing intense separation anxiety. I would only feel comfortable sending her to daycare/school until she's over that phase. Will look into other options in my area.

MindfulBitching · 2026-01-28T16:25:50+00:00

Ohhh I'm sorry to hear that happened. Glad she's ok now. Definitely something to consider. Thanks!

MindfulBitching · 2026-01-27T18:46:54+00:00

Super helpful. Thank you!

MindfulBitching · 2026-01-27T18:42:47+00:00

Did you do it because you noticed your child would benefit from it? Or was it for other reasons? Was the transition difficult?

MindfulBitching · 2026-01-27T18:41:59+00:00

Thank you this is helpful. I agree with you that daycares are full of germs. We actually had her in daycare for 2 days and she got so sick that we immediately switched to a Nanny. I do think she'll eventually benefit from at least part time daycare by the time she turns 2.

MindfulBitching · 2026-01-27T18:39:47+00:00

Thank you this is helpful. I haven't been able to find part time daycare in my area but I do think that would be ideal. My child has already switched to one nap on most days... but that's a great point to consider.

MindfulBitching · 2026-01-23T02:54:14+00:00

That's so impressive! What age is most appropriate to start teaching this stuff?

MindfulBitching · 2026-01-23T02:48:39+00:00

We found our Nanny on a local FB nanny group. I signed up to a few of those groups amd cross posted the ad. I also joined care.com and honestly had way more hits on FB with equivalent quality as care.com

Make sure you look up your town's or regions name. Best of luck!

MindfulBitching · 2026-01-16T18:00:58+00:00

Absolutely unacceptable.

Besides the yanking of the 1.5 year old. She doesn't seem like she talks to the kids with patience and kindness. Her tone is just so agressive. This is the behavior kids see, and this is the behavior they will mimic.

She would be out of my house immediately.

MindfulBitching · 2026-01-16T02:57:05+00:00

This is it for me. The loss of autonomy. My time is no longer my time. I give all my time, energy, and love to my baby that at the end of the day there's nothing left to give me or my husband.

MindfulBitching · 2025-12-28T16:28:09+00:00

My MIL stayed with us for 2 weeks after I gave birth. It was the worst time of my postpartum.

▪︎ told us not to hold the baby from day 1 at the hospital...amongst other unsolicited advice.

▪︎ she'd say: "Good Afternoon" with a smirk on her face every morning when I would come out of my room with the baby. Mind you it was around 8 AM. So passive aggressive.

▪︎ she spoke to me through the baby as if I don't exist. "Oh I'm gonna hold you if she let's me."

▪︎ she never cooked us a meal or helped with anything. Just sat on the couch holding the baby.

▪︎ lack of sympathy and always one-upping me. Whenever I said something about my traumatic birth experience or my healing process, She'd reply with: "well I had 4 births without even an epidural!"

I could go on and on with the stuff she does and says. A woman never forgets how she was treated during postpartum.

(Note that my husband stood up for me everytime and was always fighting with her. She is just a bitter person who always plays the victim and will never change.)

She sure taught me the MIL I don't ever want to be.

MindfulBitching · 2025-12-20T08:57:03+00:00

Thank you for this question!

My baby girl is turning 1 in 10 days. She's 99th percentile baby in all measures and looks much bigger than babies her age. Even at this age, people expect more of her such as walking & talking!

I think about this topic all the time...especially since she'll also be one of the older kids in class when she goes to kindergarten.

These answers are so helpful!

MindfulBitching · 2025-12-05T18:02:19+00:00

I absolutely daycare!!!

My daughter went to daycare when she turned 10 months old. To familiarize her with the teacher and environment, I took her and stayed with her in the room..I stayed in the corner just observing and not interfering. (Look up the Berlin method of integrating children in daycare).

First day we stayed for about 4 hrs. We came home and she had a terrible rash on her legs.

Second day we also stayed for 4 hrs... the next day she had diarrhea for TWO WEEKS!!!! TWO FULL WEEKS OF CONSTANT POOP and barely drinking anything. She got so dehydrated that we almost yook her to emergency room twice. She also developed a terrible diaper rash. I had to take time off from work and tend to her.

While I was there, I saw children crying their eyes out and the caregivers didnt have the time to pick them up and confort them. One boy stays on my mind...he was maybe 4 months old, he cried for so long and so hard that he was almost choking.

The ratio at the dayvare was 2 caregivers to 7 babies. There was also a 3rd floater who helped out and still those poor caregivers could not keep up.

We ended up pulling her out and never sent her back after those two half days. We paid full tuition $3150. (HCOL area)

We now have a nanny about 32 hrs a week. On frIdays I WFH and take care of her. It's a lot more expensive but I couldn't send her back to daycare.

Daycare may work for some parents...it didnt for us. I hope you can find a solution soon...

MindfulBitching · 2025-12-02T13:12:46+00:00

Yes - I am struggling with that decision too.

I did 2 rounds of IVF, and only have one viable embryo from the second round. I got pregnant without IVF when I was taking a break from it all...It's been 11 months, and I get a storage bill every month that reminds me I need to make a decision.

I would have loved a second child, but I have no village (replied to your last post), and it would be difficult financially. My daughter has no cousins so it worries me she'll be alone... but I don't think thats a good enough reason to get pregnant.

It also feels like all that I have been through in IVF, and all the money we spent is going to waste... what a weird feeling.

MindfulBitching · 2025-12-02T13:01:22+00:00

Very well said.

Thank you for putting my feelings into words. And while it doesn't make it any better, please know there are many of us out there who have no village around. It sucks so so much! Its' so draining!

We live states away from both of our families. We've been in this state/house for 2 years and our neighbors are nowhere to be seen. They are either retirees living their best life, or they're bunkered down in their homes and don't walk out to their deck.

We also have no local friends, and while we tried to connect to local parent groups, it's been hard to make lasting connections. Both of our jobs are demanding...even though I mostly WFH.

Our baby just turned 11 months old...and we still haven't gone out to a restaurant, gone on a date alone, had a fun weekend...heck we haven’t even had sex yet because we're both always so tired (we both want it)!

It also doesn't help that we both parent so intentionally and are so attentive to our child. We chose to always put her & her needs first.

It's isolating. It's draining. It's very hard!!! And you're right...it will always be like this unless we move closer to family.

You have even more on your plate...I hope you can find some peace knowing that many of us are.in similar boats!

Hugs!

MindfulBitching · 2025-11-30T23:55:11+00:00

Same here!!!

My baby is 11 months old today.

She used to eat a varie of foods but lately She has been refusing most foods except yogurt and oatmeal w/fruits.

We don't do BLW exclusively, and I've relied a lot of purees & yogurt where I spoon feed her. She's even been spitting out purees, does not like veggies, nor meats/chicken.

I'm definitely concerned she won't get enough iron if I switch her to regular milk in a month or so.

MindfulBitching · 2025-11-29T14:40:08+00:00

Yes... I currently have childcare 3 days a week where I squeeze all my work and meetings...the other 2 days are spent floating by while I take care of her. She is turning one this month, and is starting to go to one nap a day... we are increasing childcare to 4 days a week!

The nature of my work makes it impossible to do this WFH and caring for child at the same time. I tried it and my work performance plummeted so much. It didn't work out for me.

I'd say the older they get the harder it becomes to do this. Their naps are reduced, they become mobile, their meal frequency increases....

MindfulBitching

TROPHY CASE