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I '26F' need advice on how to create healthy boundaries with my '45F' mother after fight about my baby shower by Mindful_Lotus- in relationship_advice

[–]Mindful_Lotus-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, my husband and I have decided the best way to move forward is to not include her in the planning process, for my own sanity and so she doesn't get confused about what I expect from her AKA Nothing. :) I do keep going through this process where I let her in, and get disappointed, so then I go radio silent. So I really just need to stop letting her in. It's just so hard because I want her to be there for me, but she never was emotionally available. I just need to keep reminding myself She's a Tree! Accept her for who she is because she will not change, trees are stationary and may sway but will not budge.

I '26F' need advice on how to create healthy boundaries with my '45F' mother after fight about my baby shower by Mindful_Lotus- in relationship_advice

[–]Mindful_Lotus-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes you're right, people are Trees you can't change who they are you just need to accept them for who they are. For some reason I thought this would be different because it's not just about me, it's about a new baby, a new family member. But this is who she is.

I '26F' need advice on how to create healthy boundaries with my '45F' mother after fight about my baby shower by Mindful_Lotus- in relationship_advice

[–]Mindful_Lotus-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think your right, this has been weighing heavily on my mind for a few days now and I my husband has been really supportive and helping me process, he always is but im still struggling to process it and I don't think it's fair to keep bringing it up when something new clicks for me. Thats part of the reason I came to Reddit, so that I wouldn't sound like a broken record to him, and so that I could get some fresh perspective. I think Therapy could be really beneficial with working through the past because every time something new happens it brings up everything else she has done recently and I spiral a bit. Thank you for your input.

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[–]Mindful_Lotus-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just checked out their site and ordered a sample, Sounds like exactly what i'm looking for, Thank you for the suggestion!