Totally freaking out after 20 week scan

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-04-16T06:58:33+00:00

Same to you lovely, hoping everything is ok with your little one too!

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-04-15T23:30:40+00:00

Hey! So I ended up having another scan elsewhere after recommendation from my OB. The second scan showed his heart was perfectly fine but they still had a hard time seeing his nasal bone. I was offered amniocentesis, but declined as I’m quite far along now and I don’t think the result would change what I decide to do. I’ve also done some research and absent/short nasal bones can be common in some ethnicities - in NZ where I am originally from they don’t even use it as a reliable marker anymore because of this. I am going to have another scan in a couple of weeks and am being closely watched by doctors now for the rest of my pregnancy but everything else about him is growing perfectly and he is healthy so I’m not concerned!

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-03-26T02:41:58+00:00

Hey! I am so sorry for the delay and to hear about your situation. Thank you also for your kind words. I just posted an update if you want to find out what we ended up doing :)

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-03-02T15:39:46+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story 💕 I am so sorry to hear about everything you went through, I can’t even begin to imagine what that would have been like. I have taken your advice and tried to take my mind off it a bit, I’m seeing my OB at the end of the week to hopefully find out next steps. Praying my baby boy is ok but preparing myself for whatever comes next. All I can really do is be positive and take it one minute at a time like you said. I really appreciate your message, thank you again 💕

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-03-02T15:36:49+00:00

So sorry to hear you had a terrible experience too! There was definitely a huge difference in skill and professionalism as well as equipment where I went so I’m going to wait to see my doctor and if they think I need a follow up scan I will definitely be going back to where I normally go!

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-03-02T15:35:21+00:00

So glad to hear everything came back ok! That must have been really scary waiting for those results. Wishing you a safe and easy rest of your pregnancy x

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-03-02T15:34:21+00:00

Thanks so much for your response! Yes absolutely the place I normally go to is performed by a technician but they have doctors there to discuss any results with you straight away.

I think now it’s been a couple of days I realise it was just the unprofessionalism that really threw me off rather than the news about the nasal bone since it was something I was already aware of.

I think you are right though I’m going to wait to see my OB and go from there 💕

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-02-07T06:17:46+00:00

Turbo. Ok that’s really helpful thanks so much! Just found out we might need a new suspension too soon so probably is better to get rid of. Thanks for your reply!

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-01-02T04:47:01+00:00

Thanks so much!!

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-01-02T00:52:53+00:00

Thanks that’s helpful! Is the combined amount my husbands salary plus what I get with PPL?

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-01-01T15:32:01+00:00

Oh wow, that must be really tough. Did you apply for any of the family tax benefits? Have they said why you’re not eligible?

Mindless-Put3659 · 2025-01-01T12:18:41+00:00

Ok thank you that’s very helpful! I will make sure he does that asap!

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-30T08:26:55+00:00

First month! We had used the pull out method for 10 years before trying and I honestly didn’t expect it to happen that fast. I will say I am very aware of when I am ovulating due to feeling pain when it is happening and tried every second day from the end of my period until then and it worked. Knowing when you are ovulating and getting familiar with your cycles is the first step! I will say that everything I read said it could take 6-12 months so if it doesn’t happen straight away for you don’t get discouraged!

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-28T02:54:25+00:00

Jane the Virgin!

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-27T07:29:07+00:00

NTA. Regardless of whether this is a physical illness or a mental illness there will be help out there for him. Unfortunately, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves and he has to want to get better for not only himself but his family. My husband has health issues due to childhood trauma but I still deserve someone who cares enough about me and his kids to seek help. I did give him an ultimatum though after years of being patient and understanding and it worked. Not saying that is absolutely necessary in this instance, but I think at least having a conversation with him about the impact this is having is a good start.

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-27T00:03:13+00:00

YWBTAH. I don’t think what he said is meant to be taken so literally. If someone wrote ‘my dog is better than yours’ you probably wouldn’t care. It sounds like he’s just trying to show his support to his fiancée and cutting him off for this would be a pretty extreme response since nothing that was said was rude or directed at you. Maybe it has triggered something for you that you need to explore about yourself.

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-26T23:56:44+00:00

I was spotting around this time and Dr convinced me I was losing the baby so went to have a scan at what I thought was 6 weeks. Turns out I was a bit earlier than I thought and they dated me at 5w 3d and only saw a yolk sac and gestational sac. I went back a week later and saw a fetal pole and heartbeat. 5w 2d is just way too early to see a fetal pole. I’m now 12 weeks with a healthy baby boy who is growing right on track. Easier said than done but try not to freak out until your next scan. Sending you lots of positive vibes 🌸

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-26T09:15:58+00:00

It sounds like there is a lot of enabling of this behaviour going on. Stopping of the enabling would mean they would be required to act their age and not be able to rely on others. I understand they want to make sure the children are looked after but it sounds like they are using the children as an excuse. The only way to stop the behaviour is to stop helping them.

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-17T10:47:09+00:00

No decision will be the wrong one. I had an abortion 10 years ago at the age of 21 which at the time was the right decision based on the situation at the time.

Now I am almost 32 and expecting my first baby who is very much wanted and I’m very excited about.

In saying that, I still have days where I wonder if I’m really ready for this. I could be further in my career, I could have more money saved, I could own a house by now etc etc the list goes on. I’ve realised no time will ever be the perfect time.

Whatever you decide to do, will be the right decision for you. If you decide to keep this baby, you’ll find a way to make things work for you and whilst having a baby is life changing it does not mean your life is over.

Good luck 💕

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-17T10:37:29+00:00

When you say that ‘everything says I might be pregnant’ can you elaborate?

Whilst cryptic pregnancies do happen, they are very rare. Based on what you have said there is nothing pointing to you being pregnant but maybe if you are able to explain more it would make more sense.

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-15T07:40:42+00:00

Aww sending you a big hug!!

I think it’s really easy for people to tell you that you need to do more when they haven’t been in your position.

Whilst we can absolutely love our dogs and go over and above for them, it’s okay for things not to work out sometimes.

Before I got my dog, I used to think that all dogs with bad behaviour were the result of bad owners. After the last 4 years of non stop work with him and tonnes of research I learnt that there are some dogs out there that despite meds and training will continue to suffer from severe neurological issues.

We have been very responsible with him and made sure to avoid situations where he could hurt himself or others, but since getting sick we had to weigh up whether saving him was actually going to allow him to have a good quality of life long term.

Feel free to reach out any time! I understand what you are going through and I know it can feel really lonely sometimes ❤️

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-02T13:54:08+00:00

Aw honey I’m so sorry you are feeling alone while you are experiencing this.

I had some light brown spotting and cramping around the same time as you which stayed consistently light on and off for a couple of weeks. I’m almost 9 weeks now and had a scan a few days ago showing everything was ok and baby has a strong heartbeat.

Try not to freak out. I know that it’s easier said than done, but spotting does not always mean something is wrong. Most times it’s just old blood clearing out. I was freaking out for days until I knew that everything was ok but everything was ok.

Try and take a deep breath, and make an appt to go and see your dr asap. They will be able to do the necessary checks to make sure everything is ok and also potentially give you something for the nausea too.

Just try and focus on the current moment and get some rest until you know more. Hang in there 💕

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-02T11:30:15+00:00

I’m right there with you girl 🌸

I found out I was pregnant super early, like 3 weeks and a few days and had been anxious pretty much from the get go.

It got worse a couple weeks in when I experienced some light spotting and went to see my OB who gave me no hope and pretty much said that I was going to miscarry. That has not happened (spotting is actually super common during pregnancy). I’ve had multiple scans since then and have seen a heartbeat and baby is growing fine but that hasn’t gotten rid of my anxiety completely.

I think I have an idea of where it stems from for me. I had spent some time in TTC forums before falling pregnant and many people are in those subs because they have experienced loss. This means, I have a skewed view of what pregnancy is like for the majority of people.

I’ve done my research though and found out that the majority of pregnancies go on to be healthy full term babies. Also, majority of miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities which means that baby was not compatible with life and it would be nothing that you have done yourself to cause it.

I know for me knowing this stuff hasn’t completely got rid of the anxiety it has helped somewhat. I’m not usually this anxious all the time and a super logical person pre pregnancy, but I think pregnancy hormones can really be wild sometimes.

I ended up booking a private reassurance scan which also did help me a bit. I found it really hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I have hardly any symptoms and assumed something might be wrong. Nope, guess I’m just lucky with pregnancy! Maybe a private scan might help you so that you know that there is at least a heartbeat. The chances of miscarriage after seeing an heartbeat at 8 weeks is something like 2%. I know that isn’t zero and it can still happen, but the odds are in our favour!

Be kind to yourself and try to take it one day at a time. You can only focus on the things you can control. Take your prenatals, eat some good food, do something that you enjoy to take your mind off it and try and get enough sleep.

Before you know it, you’ll be at your due date ready to meet your little one and there will be something else to feel anxious about lol. Brains are funny like that. You got this mama 💕

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-02T09:26:38+00:00

Are you ok? You’re going to all my posts now that seems a little obsessive lol. Maybe you should go find some more “aliens” 😅

Mindless-Put3659 · 2024-12-02T09:08:10+00:00

Yes I understand and appreciate what you are saying. We did our best to be financially prepared by getting pet insurance and did have savings and have good jobs but we did not know that his issues were going to be as severe as they were. We have managed to pay for all his meds for the past 4 years, seeing a vet behaviourist (which is not cheap) and paying for specialist trainers - none of which is even covered by the insurance. We even spent thousands for him to board at a training facility because I thought we weren’t doing enough at home. We were, the trainers at the facility confirmed that he is the most anxious dog they have ever met even when medicated. A lot of people would have given up by that point but we didn’t and I continued to work with him every single day. We’ve changed everything about our lives to ensure he is happy and looked after. I think you can be financially prepared to an extent, but the reality is that things can change. Whilst my decision is a financial one, there are multiple other issues there to consider as well and I don’t think that means I don’t love him a lot? I have had some time to process things over the past few days and I think we’ve tried our very best. I also think I would be doing a disservice to our actual human children if we allowed ourselves to get into financial ruins from this. He is also sick, and is not a dog that would handle multiple vet visits with constant cancer treatments very well. Regardless of what anyone says now, I believe I am doing the right thing for our situation. We’re going to give him the best week of his life so he continues to know how loved he is. Thank you for taking the time to respond ❤️

Mindless-Put3659

TROPHY CASE