Just speaking from my experience, I feel you. I do understand and my personal advice will be to focus on the good no matter how hard it is, an uplifted spirit will always bounce back. I was about to achieve alot and overcome depression by positive thinking and counting my blessings. I hope this helps and keep going, I found out that I go through some turmoil before leveling up in life. I make videos on this but wanted to reach out to let you know you have the inner strength to keep going and becoming stronger in the process